Aw: emotional support needed

AandStilltrying

I am REALLY struggling with fear of loosing these two babies. To the point that all I can think about is the "what if" factor.

We are now at 15weeks with SCH that seems to be finishing up!!! Fingers crossed as I know it can come back at any minute.

I'm just so scared to let myself be happy, excited or get prepared for the twins. FTM so I'm sure that fear doesn't help either.

Just looking for some support and guidance.

Mrs.McIrish

It took me 8 rounds of IVF to get these babies so I totally get your fear. I was petrified that the proverbial "other shoe" was going to drop because of all the trauma we endured to get here. Take the weeks one at a time and celebrate the milestones for what they are. I just kept going- another week done etc... I only started buying stuff in the last 2 weeks bc I was too scared to..

diz1313

Oy, I hear ya! We are 23 weeks here. Ever week that goes by I feel a little but of relief, but that fear never goes away. I thought it would go away after the anatomy scan if I saw they were healthy and fine.... but it didn't. I want to be like I was with my first child.... I never thought of losing him, not even for a moment. I want to revel in happiness over the girls, set up their little space, buy cute little things.... but it is so hard to let go of that pesky fear. I totally understand how you feel. Any time you need to let off some steam and rant you totally can.... I don't mind. Thoughts and Prayers to the both of us/to all of us that feel this way. may we soon let go of our fears and be able to relax in the joy that is our babies.

Rxmom04

It's taken us 8 years of trying various things (on our own, medicated cycles, IVF, and several adoption attempts) to get our DS and this pregnancy so I definitely get it too. At almost 33 weeks the anxiety hasn't gone completely away for me but as PP's said counting the weekly milestones has helped. It's still hard to completely let go and just be excited and happy but it is getting better the closer we get to the end. Good thoughts to everyone struggling, may we all be holding our healthy babies soon.

ksgsmu

I also understand your fear...  after many failed fertility treatments and a couple of losses I can't wrap my head around the fact that I might actually get to take two babies home.  The twin horror stories don't help.  Like pp have said the only thing you can do is get by day by day and week by week.  Set short term goals and stay off of google! (I know easier said than done). 

Can bad things happen..yes.  But are they likely to happen.  No. The vast majority of twin pregnacies end in two healthy babies.  You have to stay positive.  It is hard.  There is a ladies blog article that really helped me with this   https://www.thetwinconnection.ca/risks-of-a-twin-pregnancy-learning-not-to-worrying. 

your not alone... twin pregnancy is no joke on any level. 

zazu13

Hang in there and try to enjoy! (Hard, I know). I worried constantly and now that they are here I still worry- just about different things. . When you do the gender/ anatomy scan it will put your mind at ease and the daily kicks which start around 20-22 weeks are so reassuring. Congratulations!

Millimeter

I was so scared my entire pregnancy that I didn't get to enjoy it at all. I took one day at a time and made small goals: 12 weeks, 16 weeks, 20, 24, 28...

It also helped to just be thankful that I was pregnant right then and try to remain positive.

My twins are now a year old, and the fear continues. I have these two beautiful, perfect babies (toddlers?!) and I'm afraid something is going to happen to them, myself, or my husband. Again, it is just one day at a time and enjoy the present.

If something happens, it happens. Worrying constantly won't change that, it will just make you miss these moments.

Odds are, you'll be holding your beautiful, healthy babies in a couple months and this time will just be a blur.

minirella

^^^What she said.

LittleLady77

It's totally normal to feel fear. After years of trying to get pregnant and failing I had tremendous fear too. I hate to say this but once the babies arrive the fear doesn't really go away, it morphs into fear about SIDS, suffocation, car accidents, etc. Being a mom has made me very paronoid.

CaliCarly77

Whether you had conception complications or not, the minute you find out you are carrying twins is a game changer - I went from happy to terrified and on the verge of being sick with nerves the whole time. Hindsight is 20/20 - had I known we would have a successful pregnancy and now two gorgeous 7 month old girls, I would have stopped worrying, but we didn't know. 

I remember someone on here yelled at me to "calm down" for posting like 6 "I'm scared" posts in a row lol So, yeah, been there, done that. 

https://thecrocketfamilyblog.blogspot.com/2014/06/its-twins.html <-- a look back from when we found out it was twins. + tons of baby pictures. 

runner089

Pregnancy is so hard - there are so many what ifs to worry about.  Even though I'm a highly anxious person, I try to just get to each milestone as previous posters have suggested.  At first, it was the anatomy scan.  I know you are not quite their yet, but once I could feel their kicks, it helped ease my anxiety (a little bit anyway!). 

Twin pregnancies are stressful - just try to take it one day at a time.  Hang in there!  T + P headed your way. 

AandStilltrying

Thank you all for talking me down. I was going crazy today. You're very right about just sucking it up and living in the moment. Right now, we are healthy and pregnant with 2 babies! In 2 weeks we have our anatomy scan! Next week an ultrasound.

I think being a planner and not liking to live moment to moment is hard! I know mommydom will bring me out of that realllll fast!

Thank you all. Glad to know you all feel or felt that way too. You're the best!!!!

vargasgurl

It's hard ... I know ... I'm sacred to loose them as well.... Because I'm 39 , twins are considered high risk and I suffered a previous MC. My husband Tries to put my mind at ease by saying .. "Yes but you had a successful pregnancy and you are healthy" I think we just need to focus on our health and trying to stay positive.

I agree w PP w every milestone there comes some sense of relief!

RayRay007

I had two losses before this pregnancy, so not only am I PGAL, I'm PGAL with a "high risk" pregnancy (as are many of us). It is extra hard. I take it one day or one week at a time. Each week is a little milestone that I celebrate. While it is normal and ok to be a little worried, if you are finding it overwhelming or intrusive, you might want to talk to you doctor.