Can I hear from the mamas of bottle refusers?

Nikkipal82

I am feeling really desperate now. I have been back to work for over a month (12 hr shifts, 2-3 times per week). If I worked more often, perhaps we would have figured this out by now, but alas, we have not. I have tried 10 kinds of nipples. Sippy cups. Spoon. Supplemental nursing system. Medicine dropper (sounds like this is the only thing that comes close to working, but it's tedious as hell, and she still doesn't take much). My DH is home with DD one day per week, and he is getting really stressed out. It sounds like they always have good mornings and then as the day wears on, she gets crankier and crankier since she's so hungry. I have asked him to bring her to me at work so I can feed her on a break, but he refuses. He says parking at the hospital and walking all the way to my floor, and everything is too much. He has also never left the house with her, so I think fear has a lot to do with that. Regardless, I just want to be able to work and know my child is not miserable.

Many have suggested I try pumping all day and just try to give her a bottle until she will take it. I really struggle with this. I can't listen to her cry when I know what she wants is right there in front of me (literally). I haven't even lasted one feeding trying this. I also think she does better with the bottle when she is not upset. She is almost four months, so I think a sippy cup may be an option for us, but the two I've tried haven't really worked. If any one is feeding their child this way, what kind worked for you? Or any other suggestions from people who have been through this would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I'm failing my child, and my brain knows it's not my fault, but mommy guilt is a powerful thing. I also really enjoy my job (and having enough money to survive), and I don't want to give that up. And I feel guilty about that too. Ugh.

skyrockets

I would also like to hear about the sippy cup options if anyone has stories!

haylo33

I also work 12 hour shifts 2-3 days a week. Last week (2nd day with the sitter) he refused the bottle. Didn't eat for 7 hours. Took the bottle the second I got there. We give a bottle a day no matter what to keep him fimiliar. I think that he finally was hungry enough to just drink. The sitter was so worried and called me twice till I finally said I was coming. I think because we work only a few days a week, it is hard to establish a routine. Hopefully they will get used to it. My LO goes back tomorrow and I'm really nervous. Good luck

gutsysneakers

Ugh. Hugs to you. No advice, but I came across this post under BFing and thought it may be helpful to you

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12424238/xp-bottle-vs-sippy-cup-vs-straw-cup#latest

QOTR

I'm so sorry.  We had a little problem with this last week when our new nanny started.  It is stressful.   Changing the nipple to a faster flow (which it sounds like you've tried) and feeding her in her bouncy seat instead of being held seemed to have fixed it for us.   Good luck!

Katzalia

Commiseration, but no answers for you. My LO recently started refusing the bottle too. I have to nurse her and then sneak the bottle nipple into her mouth. DH can't get her to take the bottle at all. Due to my low supply and supplementing, she's quite accustomed to the bottle so it doesn't make sense why she's suddenly refusing. Luckily I'm still at home but have started to have some work from home I need to do. I have no idea how this will work once I'm back to work.

Eta: gah, words are hard.

sarag0116

Many many hugs. That all seems stressful! This is not necessarily the best advice but may be worth a shot. Can you have DH get LO to sleep and then offer the bottle? When my LO is extra fussy this is the only way I can get him to nurse. That suck swallow ability still works when asleep. Worth a try

spinsoffresonance

Sorry that sounds rough. When DD1 was a newborn I worked most weekends at the hospital. DH would give one bottle, then bring the baby to me for the second feeding. He refused to bring the baby inside the hospital though because of the germs so he would park in the short term parking and I would nurse in the car. Obviously not a long term solution, but it could work for you until you fix the bottle issue. You just have to convince DH to take LO out of the house!
DD1 started refusing bottles at 8months old after I stopped working and she was no longer in daycare. We were never able to get her to take one again.

pistolpackinmomma

No answers just company. 3.5 months and he won't take a bottle. Luckily I SAH so it's not the end if the world but definitely a pain. I would keep trying different bottles and hope for the best. (((Hugs)))

yepyepsms

I know it stinks, my daughter has been in daycare about a month and just started taking her bottles about two weeks ago. What has worked for her is being swaddled in a bouncy. They say she fights less when swaddled and they also try to feed her while sleeping and she gives in that way. I agree with PP's that some babies don't want to be held to eat because that's for mom only. I would not stop offering the breast to be able to get her to take the bottle.

apinkpelican

We really struggled with the bottle for awhile too. The only way she'd take it in the beginning was if she was pretty much asleep so either a dream feed or a MOTN feed. So maybe as PP said have DH try to feed her during a nap.
Sorry you are dealing with this; sounds so stressful.

britab

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Mine refused for awhile.

She was using a Nuk 0-2 month pacifier and refusing all bottles. She went almost 9 hours one day. I got her the next size up Nuk pacifier and the medium flow Nuk nipples. She takes bottles fine now. I don't know what her deal was. 

I hope your DH can get more comfortable if he's gong to be the primary caregiver while you work.

GL!

jenb_99

@pistolpackinmomma said:

No answers just company. 3.5 months and he won't take a bottle. Luckily I SAH so it's not the end if the world but definitely a pain. I would keep trying different bottles and hope for the best. (((Hugs)))

Are we the same person? I swear we're living each other's lives.

pistolpackinmomma

jenb_99 said:

@pistolpackinmomma said:

No answers just company. 3.5 months and he won't take a bottle. Luckily I SAH so it's not the end if the world but definitely a pain. I would keep trying different bottles and hope for the best. (((Hugs)))

Are we the same person? I swear we're living each other's lives.

Some days I wonder! Do you current have 2 kids with pink eye too? If so I will officially be weirder out.

PattyTC

We have been struggling with this for a while now. I posted about a month ago with all my frustration in having tried anything and nothing working. The good news is we have spaced bottles out more at DC and she seems to be doing better. The bad news is she still refuses to take one from DH. I would suggest trying outside the house though. I know my LO struggles more with a bottle at home.
Good luck!!