Anyone with toddler struggling

Esbi25

Hi Ladies,

I don't post much, but feeling overwhelmed today. I have a 27 month old and my 3 month old. I'm staying home for one more month and then my mom will watch them when I go back to work.

I just feel so inadequate today. I wanted to get them ready to drive to my mom's cause my toddler is obsessed with grandma and he can run around outside there. At home I let him watch way too much tv because he throws fits if I don't let him and it stresses me out trying to manage that and the baby. I tried to keep him from watching too much tv while trying to get ready and held off on getting the baby to nap before the car trip (45 min trip). Bad idea. It ended with baby meltdown and toddler meltdown. The toddler has been sick with some kind of stomach thing so he has been extra difficult.

So I basically had a meltdown too and just cried and was impatient and mean to my toddler. My mom offered to come get him and have a sleep over. He slept over there on thurs night too so I could have a break. I'm starting to feel like I'm incapable of caring for my own child unless he is watching tv and it's making me feel awful how are others coping with their toddler and baby without getting overwhelmed??

purtz

I know, right there with you with my 3 year old and 3 month old. I hate getting annoyed with my toddler but she really pushes my buttons sometimes. I remind myself it's all normal toddler behavior she is exhibiting, amplified by my fatigue and hormones. Can you get a babysitter to come help out occasionally around the house? That has really helped me enjoy both kids more.

Esbi25

Thank you for your replies and encouragement. It is really good to hear right now. My mom just took my toddler for an overnight. It is just really tough cause he was always my little mama's boy and center of my attention and now I barely am able to focus on him. DH or my mom will take him, but not the baby yet so I never get any one on one time with my big boy maybe I will try to make it a priority to leave the baby with DH and spend time with DS1 soon.

I miss him so much when he is gone even if he does drive me crazy half the time. The guilt never ends, I guess.

spinsoffresonance

I think my toddler has watched more tv in the 2 weeks after DD2 was born than in her entire life, it's a life saver when I have to nurse the baby.
I have 2 tricks to keep DD1 happy throughout the day and make my life easier. 1 I take the toddler out of the house twice a day. DD1 runs around the playground while DD2 naps in the carrier. It's always a little tricky in the morning getting everyone fed, dressed and out of the house but not havig o constantly make sure the toddler isn't attacking the baby is worth it. 2. When we're home I try to include the toddler as much as possible, she "helps" with laundry, dishes, baby diaper changes and snuggles with me while I nurse DD2 and get her to sleep. Sometimes the help really ends up making more work for me, but it keeps DD1 calmer.

ns1

I just wanted to say I understand your struggle. I'm back to work now so don't have them all day normally, but I also feel often annoyed with the toddler and overwhelmed with the baby on top of it. I let the toddler watch a ton of tv or play kid apps on my phone a lot. I just chalk it up to survival mode. No real advice. Juat commiseration.

ho11yday

You do what you have to. If that means screen time, then that means screen time.

And besides, two year olds are rough. I love mine but this age is hard to love. Plus being primary caretaker is hard too.

Hugs.

Ladiebug710

I just want to offer a hug because I feel the exact same way.  LO#1 just turned two this month and I feel like I'm not doing a good job with him lately.  I try my best to give him some special mommy alone time, but with LO#2 being breastfed those are short segments of time.  I'm so tired I get easily frustrated and feel like I snap at him a lot more than I should.

Esbi25

Thank you, ladies. Hugs to all of you, too! This two close together business is no joke. The baby and I just snuggled for a long nap and I'm feeling a little more together now. Just missing my toddler, but enjoying this break.

You are so right, @lica001‌ getting the toddler out of the house always makes the day go better. I have the same problem, though, that by the time everyone is ready, it's nap time for the baby and then lunch and then toddler nap, I struggle sometimes to find an opportunity to get out. But, I think ill try harder to make it happen.

I'm just gonna tell myself that down the road when they are best friends, this will all seem worth the struggle. And when they are old enough, I'll let them know the exhaustion I went through to have them close in age

ksyknelvr73

I'm not.

But for real, I am terrible at this...I went back to work a week and a half ago and I finally am starting to feel sane again and have more patience with my toddler. You have to just survive some days.

spinsoffresonance

@Esbi25‌ I feel bad for DD2 a lot of times, she doesn't get a whole lot of attention, mostly she has to tag along and somehow adjust to DD1's schedule. She only gets to take her after lunch nap in bed. Morning and afternoon naps are in the carrier while I take DD1 to the park. Otherwise we would never leave the house. Babywearing is a lifesaver, if DD2 stops napping in the carrier I'm going to be in serious trouble.