Second Timers

SWMcFarland

Were you happy with the way things went for you (overall?)

I was on bed rest (both hospital and home) for 10 weeks before my daughter was born 7 weeks premature.  There are so many things that happened that I'd choose so much differently this time, so I'm looking at my options very carefully now.  It took me almost 5 years to come to terms with everything that happened, so I'm cautious and hesitant this go around.  

What are you choosing to do differently (if anything?)

GR8TDANEMOM

I was happy until 34 weeks. I developed high blood pressure that ended up putting me on bed rest at 35 weeks. It developed into pre eclampsia and I had to be induced at 38 weeks. I hope to not have to go through that again, I would love to go into labor on my own. I had a failed epidural so I may see if I can go without depending on how labor goes. I also hope I won't test positive for strep because I had a horrible yeast infection after being on the antibiotics and got thrush 3 times while nursing. If I do have it I will start a probiotic immediately.

admac3

My first doctor was ok, but I switched to a different one after my first daughter was born. I wish I would have has my current doctor then. I always wonder if the emergency c/s I had could have been avoided.

SWMcFarland

I blindly trusted too, and that is what I regret the most.  Things could have been so different, and they had a severe impact on me for such a long time that this go I want to make sure I am fully aware of my options.

Worst case, I've already told my husband I will be going back to my home town and seeing my old docs, etc. who've known me since I was a child.  I suspect it will be a completely different experience, though I'd love to stay here and get it right.

I'm looking at midwives and that option too.

LexiSophie55

I was high risk and had to travel 1.5 hours for care.  I was pretty happy with how everything went.  I was actually considering driving there again.  My recovery was awesome and we were well cared for.

I was VERY proactive throughout my pregnancy.  I even asked for second opinions when they tried to put me on bedrest.  I studied numbers and memorized them all.  I am now over the top proactive with all doctor visits.  It is a double edged sword for me.

I'm more nervous for the RCS this time than I was with a CHD child.

jennz201

I was pretty happy up until 38wks when I started prodromal labor. I labored for four days with very little progress when, at 39wks, my ob decided to induce. I fully understand and appreciate why she did, but it threw my birth plan out the window since I was suck in bed and hooked up to pitocin. Hopefully this time moves more quickly.

twinkletoes3126

I had a pretty easy pregnancy and delivery. The one thing I am going to change this time around is being more insistent on not seeing a certain Dr during visits. I love my whole practice with the exception of one doctor who always made me very uncomfortable. I will not make any appointments with him this time around.

smash1228

I had a great pregnancy so I am hoping for the same this time. The only thing I wish I could have changed, but was out of my control, was that dd was posterior "sunny side up." I had 48 hrs of miserable back labor followed by 5 hrs of pushing with no progress. I ended up in a csection. The whole thing was very traumatizing for dh and he really doesn't want me to try for a vbac in fear of another mal positioned baby. We will see I guess...

momtosam

HAHAH. I want to change pretty much everything. 

I was very uninformed and uneducated the first time around about many things. 

- I will be asking a lot of questions with my OB this time around and not wait for them to tell me. 
- I was slightly panicked because they could not reach our OB and they were also confused by this. We ended up having some random doctor we never met deliver (err catch) DS. I want to know this time around what the back-up plan is if our OB can not be there. 
- I am looking at definitely a doula and possibly doing a mid-wife depending if I can do so in my hospital (I still want the option for interventions if needed for me.) 
- Because I will be using a doula, I hope for a much different labor process this time around. I would like to be able to keep from having to do an epidural till way later into labor or not at all. ( I have sciatica and back labored so got an epidural early with my DS, but then was stuck in bed for 10 + hours) 
- I want to be seen by a lactation consultant hopefully with first feeding, or with in the first few hours. 
- I want immediate skin to skin time and feeding time. 
- I would like to try ALL ways to feed this LO before giving a bottle. 
- I will rent (or use insurance) for a hospital grade breast pump.
- I plan to cloth diaper starting at the hospital. I also plan to go a slightly different route with cloth diapering this time around.
- I want to start babywearing in the hospital and do a lot of skin to skin with this. 
- I want to have a birth photographer or a first 48 photographer to capture moments at the hospital for us. I have 2 pictures of me with my son at the hospital and non of the three of us together. 
- I will eat before we get to the hospital, I went 36 hours without food with DS. It was AWFUL!

Over all the it was not awful, just a lot I would like to change. My water broke at 5:30am. Got to hosiptal about 6/6:30 am. I measured less than a centimeter. They started me on pitocin. We went up to labor/deliver. Were left alone pretty much with the occassional check ins. They never told DH about the kitchen room (where there was food available for him along with an ice machine and beverages) So DH left me a few times to get food. I will also have someone else to look after our dogs (since DH had to leave to take care of them a couple times as well). I ended up staying in the bed the whole time. Was never encouraged to get up and move around. I ended up getting an epidural by 2pm. I was only 3-4 centimeters along. After that I was stuck in bed. Delivery went pretty smoothly. Born at nearly 11pm. I held DS for a few minutes after born, then he was taken away for stats and such and given back all wrapped up. They actually placed him in the bassinet thing. Was never encouraged to feed him or anything after. Only after I gotten take to postpartum was I asked about feeding DS (this was several hours later). At which point my nurse was NOT helpful as she was a floater nurse and had no experience with breastfeeding. Pretty much was left to our own again. A lactation consultant finally came in the following late afternoon, but was unhelpful. Never got a good latch. I basically refused to leave the hospital until we were seen again the next day. This LC was much more helpful but  was squeezing us in between other visits so did not get focused time. I felt like they treated us the entire time as experienced parents, instead of first time parents. 

Moral of story. I will be taking control this time. Getting informed and taking control from the moment we get admitted to the hospital. I will NOT be relying on staff for information or help.

Sorry that was long!

10Nessie

I had an amazing pregnancy last time, so I hope this one is just as great. Labor and birth, for the most part, went well.

I wanted a med-free birth and I was able to have one. L was OP so I ended up pushing for 3 hours. I really hope that part isn't a repeat. I wanted to delay clamping of the cord, but that didn't happen due to there being a true knot in her cord. L wasn't crying and NICU nurses were in our room in seconds. Very scary stuff. We were lucky and she ended up being fine.

The things that didn't go as planned were out of my control, so I probably won't do anything different. We took a hypno-birthing class last time, so I'll probably get out the CD and start listening to it at night again starting in second tri.

I love my midwife so much and am so happy I can have her again. She is a seriously amazing person.

maybebride

Pregnancy was fine, but I am hoping to enjoy it more. I was such a nervous wreck most of my last pregnancy because we'd been trying for so long that I had this feeling that it couldn't be real/that something would go wrong.

I do wish my delivery experience had been different, but we had a decision to make and did what we thought was best for our unborn son and the end result is that he arrived and was healthy. DS was big (the weight predicted by my u/s was dead on) and his shoulders were measuring wide. I was making NO progress toward labor. None. He was still VERY high and I was not dilating. Four days before my due date, at my appointment, we discussed with my doctor our options. Her fear was DS becoming stuck and either causing long-term injury to him and/or an emergency C-section. Her exact words were, the second I see signs of possible distress, I will take you to the OR. Inducing me only upped the chances of that happening and she worried that letting me go past my due date would cause further complications with my growing boy. It was a very hard decision, but one that was best for all of us. We chose to schedule a C-section at 40 weeks (day before my due date). This meant I lost out on immediate skin-to-skin and just all the things I'd actually looked forward to. But, he was in my arms within 30 minutes of delivery for the ride back to our room and we were doing skin-to-skin and nursing within an hour. 

I am going to discuss a VBAC with my doctor for this time, but I fully trust her opinion, so if we end up with a scheduled C-section, I'm okay with that. Luckily, not long after I gave birth to DS, my hospital changed its policy and now allows skin-to-skin immediately in the OR for C-section babies/mommas, so that is one thing I feel better about.

admac3

maybebride said:

Pregnancy was fine, but I am hoping to enjoy it more. I was such a nervous wreck most of my last pregnancy because we'd been trying for so long that I had this feeling that it couldn't be real/that something would go wrong.

I do wish my delivery experience had been different, but we had a decision to make and did what we thought was best for our unborn son and the end result is that he arrived and was healthy. DS was big (the weight predicted by my u/s was dead on) and his shoulders were measuring wide. I was making NO progress toward labor. None. He was still VERY high and I was not dilating. Four days before my due date, at my appointment, we discussed with my doctor our options. Her fear was DS becoming stuck and either causing long-term injury to him and/or an emergency C-section. Her exact words were, the second I see signs of possible distress, I will take you to the OR. Inducing me only upped the chances of that happening and she worried that letting me go past my due date would cause further complications with my growing boy. It was a very hard decision, but one that was best for all of us. We chose to schedule a C-section at 40 weeks (day before my due date). This meant I lost out on immediate skin-to-skin and just all the things I'd actually looked forward to. But, he was in my arms within 30 minutes of delivery for the ride back to our room and we were doing skin-to-skin and nursing within an hour. 

I am going to discuss a VBAC with my doctor for this time, but I fully trust her opinion, so if we end up with a scheduled C-section, I'm okay with that. Luckily, not long after I gave birth to DS, my hospital changed its policy and now allows skin-to-skin immediately in the OR for C-section babies/mommas, so that is one thing I feel better about.

My experience was a lot like yours, except they didn't know DD was so big. She got stuck and after 17 hours of labor we had to do an emergency c/s because we were both in distress. My hospital now allows skin to skin right away and delayed cord clamping. I loved that I got to do it with my youngest.

katie0919

I had the most wonderful and easy pregnancy with DS....sometimes I honestly felt like I wanted to be pregnant forever (no flames, please). I just mean that, I loved feeling him move, I felt like I was protecting him, and he was all mine. So selfish, I know. But it was just such a special time. I would be thrilled if I get to experience such a wonderful pregnancy again, but I'm definitely not going to expect it.

Fast forward to the birth. I was induced 9 days past my due date (latest my doc would let me go)....induction went fairly well, despite all the horror stories, but I was upset that my "birth plan" was shot. I REALLY wanted to go into labor on my own, stay at home as long as I could, work on my meditation I had been doing....I did pregnancy yoga the whole 9 months. I was trying to be very "zen" about it all. Well, the induction blew it. I did progress pretty quickly. After starting pitocin at 7 am, I was ready to push by 12:30p.m. Next is the crappy part. I pushed for 4.5 freaking hours and no baby. He was stuck, I was exhausted, and finally after pushing my OB for as many hours of pushing as she would let me, I reluctantly agreed to the C. I was so exhausted, and there is no way I could have pushed any longer anyway. Finally, he was born at 7:33 p.m. All 9lbs 7oz of him. My OB said once she got in, she saw he was stuck because of my curved tailbone. 

I asked her at the time if I would be able to try for a VBAC next time and she said, and I quote, "let's work on a 7lb girl and we'll see". Big babies just run in my family (I was almost a 9lb baby and I was EARLY). I'm just afraid that with my tailbone, I will wind up with another C anyway. So, I'm not making any decisions yet, obviously, but as much as I want a VBAC I don't want to go through all that labor just to end up in surgery again anyway. The recovery was pretty terrible with the C (the gas build up and lack of poop nearly killed me, everything else was okay) but I hear if you don't go through labor beforehand, it's much easier. So, long story short (not) - we shall see!

jennz201

Yes @momtosam!!
-I will eat a large meal before even setting foot in the hospital because I was not allowed to eat for 36+ hours THEN the cafeteria was closed. 
-I had an in hospital photog but I refused to be in the photos so I have all these beautiful photos of DD and DH and I'm no where to be found. That's not happening again.
-Oh and I will not let DH leave to get food again because he got stuck in traffic and nearly missed DD's birth.
I had a wonderful 1st pregnancy, I just want to do things a little better this time.

xcjump

I had an easy pregnancy with my daughter and an easy delivery.   I am hoping it is the same this time around.  I used a doula and midwifes and delivered in a birthing center.  I am nervous because I have gained weight that I will develop preeclampsia and won't be allowed to deliver at the birthing center. 

jennz201

Ugh, I suppose that I why they don't let you eat in the hospital huh @katinhiding? Well, ok, I'll amend that.
-I will eat toast and crackers before setting foot in the hospital so my stomach doesn't start eating itself during labor, but I also don't put my kid at risk.

annarach

Despite my son having a hole in his heart, I had a great pregnancy. I gained a ton of weight, which caused my blood pressure to go up and down during the last 3 weeks, and that caused me to be induced. I had a great L&D experience anyways - the epidural took no problem, I was moved out of my labor room 2 hours after birth, I healed great. Unfortunately my son when into congestive heart failure just 16 hours after birth, which caused a mad rush of NICU tests and then a trip via ambulance to Seattle Children's Hospital. 

If I can keep my weight in check this time, I should have no problem letting my body do what it needs to. My OB was rightfully nervous about my son's heart, so I believe that (and my blood pressure) are what caused the induction. The pediatric cardiologist said it made no difference how my son was delivered, but the OB thought differently. 

I love my OB, but I'm considering switching to a midwife because I want a more hands-off approach this time. I want to be in control of my body and my baby, without feeling pressured into things that aren't necessary. 

roundtwoOMG

I generally had a good pregnancy until about 32 weeks when my legs/feet/ankles got SUPER swollen. Like post-c section swollen. Not only did I feel terrible but I (vain, I know) looked even worse. People would stop me on the street and say "Oh dear...."

This time around we are using midwives. My OB was fine but his practice was super hectic and he was always an hour behind and I'm looking forward to building more of a relationship with my midwife. 

Like a pp, I also will have some changes in the hospital post-delivery. I didn't know any better first time around and no one told me when to feed my son (and he never cried for it) so I think we kind of blew that part...he lost a little too much weight and my milk had trouble coming in (I think it took 3.5 days at least). This time my main focus will be feeding him or her!!

Love these stories!