I am not even to beta yet and I have absolutely NO idea what to believe- advice needed.

LO95

I am not even to beta yet and it's very likely we could go tomorrow and get bad news, but I am driving myself absolutely bug-f* by worrying about everything I'm doing.  I still have no idea how much folic acid to officially take, and I am going to feel paranoid until I see the RE and if we get good news, that won't be until six weeks.  I've been eating pineapple and drinking pineapple juice because I thought it was a healthy serving of fruit and then tonight I stumble upon a bunch of conflicting information about pineapples and miscarriage.  I literally read this as I was drinking a glass of pineapple juice, which then made my stomach hurt because I feel like I missed something I should have known about.

How do you deal with the first trimester after infertility?  I mean, I know we may not even be there, but if we are, I don't know how I'm going to make it through with any semblance of sanity intact.  I think I would have been a little paranoid if we'd experienced a "non-IF" pregnancy, but IF has opened my eyes to everything that can go wrong.  Does anyone know anything about pineapple and in general, what books tell you all of this stuff?!  I've read that I should avoid "What to Expect" because it'll scare the crap out of you, but I need a book about this.

ekc0630

All I could eat my first trimester was fruit.  With the anxiety it doesn't get better.  Once you can start feeling the baby move it gets a little better but then you worry when you don't feel the baby move.  I continued to work out and that helped.  Good Luck!

dp21

Just take a prenatal vitamin that has folic acid in it, follow general diet rules for 1st tri, I'm pretty strict, meat well done, no deli meat, no sushi, no soft cheeses, etc.  I also bought a doppler, I could start hearing baby's heart beat at week 11 and can listen to it anytime I want.  That really helps between appointments, especially when I go 4 weeks without any monitoring.  Also find an OB that understands IF, my OB was great and let me come in every 2 weeks (to help with my anxiety) the first 1.5 months of seeing her.  Now I'm on a regular schedule (4 week waits), so my doppler helps a ton!  I'm def. just more cautious between dealing with IF and also being a pediatric nurse.....  Good luck on your beta!  It will get better and get more real as time goes on! 

pblge

@LO95 - You know I've been hanging out with you for a while, and I've loved your presence on the IF board, so I hope you'll take it as a friendly comment when I say that you way, way over-think things!! I think the kids say (or used to say), stop it before you give yourself an aneurysm! I'm early, too, so I don't have a ton of experience to speak from, but I agree with the other ladies: take a good quality prenatal and eat as healthy and diverse a diet as you can. Avoid the known bad things (deli meats, raw meats, unpasteurized dairy, sprouts, and high mercury fish), don't overdo any herbal teas or other foods (put down the pineapple--implantation is done!), and you'll be just fine. Organic is good if you rock that way.

There's a lot of contradictory information out there, so my approach has been to find a few reputable sources and make those my go-to for all my questions. American Pregnancy Assn, WebMD, and Mayo Clinic are what I like to look at, and I'm suspicious of information from other sources. You can drive yourself CRAZY if you read everything and try to sort out every little thing for yourself.

What do you think about the Circle + Bloom meditation series? It could help calm you down some!

Neesey

Eat deli meat if it sounds good! You're more likely to get listeria from spinach or fruit than you are from fresh deli meat. And no, I don't heat mine first either. You can also eat soft cheeses unless it is unpasteurized. Just read the label.
The biggest advice I can give you.....breathe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The stress you are putting on yourself is actually worse for your body than a small piece of tuna or a slice of brie on your turkey sandwich. Be smart and eat a well balanced diet. Everything in moderation....even moderation. ;-)

bayareagirl2011

Every little step is anxiety ridden if you let it be. First the 2ww, then making it past first tri, wondering abt a m/c, the scans and waiting for results, then feeling movement and freaking out if you don't, then birth and all the fears that come along with parenthood. My point is that you will drive yourself crazy and that does your hopefully pregnant body no good. I am not going to say it's easy because it's not, and there are still days I pull out the doppler even when I felt movement just an hour ago, but just try to take a deep breath and know that the small things are unlikely to make a difference in the end. Take your prenatal, and avoid the things the ladies above mentioned. You'll be just fine!! Good luck

ekc0630

I still eat deli sandwiches on occasion.  Mostly from Panera though.  I'm more comfortable with them than let say Subway.  I guess cause I can't see the meat

BalletAn

Does this mean you POAS and got a BFP??? Yay for that!!! I got my BFP on Thursdays Beta, so I'm sort of in the same boat. For me it helps to think that we made it this far and the odds are in our favor. I think being on the boards you read a lot of heart breaking early loss stories, but it is good to remember that miscarriage is the exception, not the norm. At my clinic miscarriage happens for 1 in 8 BFP's (in my age bracket), which also means 7 in 8 ladies go on to have babies! If those were betting odds I would bet! 

I think sometimes IF makes us a bit hardened. We don't allow ourselves to feel happy, because if we are happy and hopeful and something happens we'll be all the more sad. I don't believe that, I think if this goes wrong I will be heart broken no matter how hopeful or worried I was before it went wrong. Easier said then done, but try to enjoy where you are. I keep on thinking "I'm pregnant" and it just makes me so happy. I also looked at baby names and maternity clothes, because why the hell not. 

As for questioning every thing you do, I get it! I just try to be mindful of the no-no's and do things in moderation. I basically eat what I did before (we ate really healthy already), although I might have actually been a bit more "bad" than usually, since I crave Chinese food all day every day. i just give in and think it must be my body telling me to put on some weight (hello, no waist bag dresses!!!). 

Fingers crossed for a great beta!!!!

hopeby2015

Unfortunately IF does a number on us ladies and it can be very difficult to overcome. But you just gotta take it one day at a time and not take everything you read on the Internet seriously. Just today, I went for bloods and asked the nurse about something I'd read online. She told me most stuff on the Internet is full of crap and to not take it so seriously. Like the OP said, you want info read up on the American Pregnancy Association or the Mayo Clinic. I personally am not a huge fan of WebMD - I feel like they take things to the extreme at times.

FX for a good first beta! Good luck!

pblge

Btw, congrats to @LO95 on a great first beta!!

LO95

We were so happy to hear our beta yesterday. (I actually called and bugged them until they told us- I was so afraid they'd leave for the day before calling.  Weekend hours...sigh.)  But as we were shopping for pregnancy books I think it hit me how quickly this could all go away.  I hate infertility; I feel like I am fighting myself to just be happy.   :-S  So, focusing on what I'm grateful for- I'm grateful for our BFP and grateful for our first beta.  Praying for Monday.

Sha259

I'm right there with you @lo95. IF trains us to err on the side of caution, and seeing so many different scenarios unfold for members of the IF community makes us all a bit skittish. Even when I got beta#1, I was crazy nervous until beta #2. Once I got second beta, I was nervous for the U/S.

But I'm trying to take the advice of the ladies here, and my RE. You are pregnant, your body is doing what it's supposed to do.
You just have to trust your judgement the same way you have throughout your journey to get here!

runawaylaurel

Congrats on a wonderful first beta! It is so hard to just feel joy instead of joy+ a ton of worry right now, but one thing I keep telling myself is to not with these weeks away... this is a magical, once in a lifetime experience. Hope you get great news again on your 2nd beta!

xc1148

Nothing. Literally nothing will calm you down. IF messes you up. People that are further along can tell you it will be fine, but we were all in the same boat. "Is my beta high enough? Did it double? Why didn't we see the heartbeat? Baby is measuring 2 days behind! Why did my RE stop my progesterone? Why won't my OB see me for 2 more weeks?" and on and on until whatever week your brain actually relaxes. Mine didn't until week 15.

My advice: 1) Stress is natural, it took you a while to get here so don't beat yourself up over it. 2) Stay away from Dr. Google. now. stop it. get a reputable book on pregnancy nutrition (I like the Mayo Clinic) and stick with that. 3) Pay attention to your real doctor. Ask them questions, and if they are not worried, you shouldn't be worried 4) Pregnancy will do weird things to you...things will happen and you will panic and then the doctor will say "that's normal". Prepare for that.

Good luck tomorrow!

Sha259

Hope that today's beta goes well!

WA1215

Good luck today!

LO95

I have been in LIMBO land all day waiting for a phone call.  Just got it- beta 48 hours later is 374.  The nurse is very happy and scheduled my ultrasound for September 15.  SEPTEMBER 15.  HOW THE HECK am I going to make it to September 15?!  Doesn't that seem longer than 6 weeks?!  

Happy but wow....

I'm overwhelmed.

pblge

Congrats! That's a greatsecond beta! I can't speak to what it's like without a history of losses, but with that, especially after IF, these early weeks of pregnancy are hellish. I'm no model of sanity, but what I tried to do was to keep busy, take care of myself, and remember that miscarriages are the exception, and a healthy baby is the norm. It's basically out of your hands now, so all you can do is breathe and try to stay grounded. VERY HARD!

LO95

@pblge So happy to see your good news today!  Did you see the question I posted?  I'm so confused about why I can't do an ultrasound at 6 weeks?  Do you have any feedback about this?

pblge

LO95 said:

@pblge So happy to see your good news today!  Did you see the question I posted?  I'm so confused about why I can't do an ultrasound at 6 weeks?  Do you have any feedback about this?

;-) I was writing....

intheplanningstage

I also hang out on the 'pregnant after a loss board' (unfortunately) and I think some of the advice from there is also great for being pregnant after IF. I have a list of mantras that I read daily, such as "Today, I am pregnant. I love my baby. Worrying will not change things, etc." Small goals are also helpful. For example, I started off thinking about getting to our first ultrasound. Once I passed that milestone, I focused on getting passed the time of my second loss. Make little things to look forward to along the way to make it all less overwhelming. I also love researching where I am right now (ie googling baby development at 10 weeks pregnant) because it's exciting and positive to think of all the fun things happening RIGHT NOW. Congratulations and I wish you the best!