UO

gutsysneakers

Haven't seen this thread in awhile. So here it goes...

1) I miss being pregnant. 

2) I don't want DD having any "screen" time until she's at least 1. I think it's scary that a TV can memorize her. I know I'm a FTM, but it's been pretty easy to keep it that way so far. 

mrsbtobe20122

Jcrewgirl85 said:

Haven't seen this thread in awhile. So here it goes...

1) I miss being pregnant. 

2) I don't want DD having any "screen" time until she's at least 1. I think it's scary that a TV can memorize her. I know I'm a FTM, but it's been pretty easy to keep it that way so far. 

I agree with both except I don't have an age when I think screen time will happen or want to take home another baby...but the being pregnant part is appealing to me already. DH is jealous of all the BFP ladies on this board lol

Nikkidoll15

I miss being pregnant too. I knew I would though. Two of my gf's are pregnant and I tell them all the time how jealous I am. Oh and I'd give birth like 10 more times. I thought it was exciting and amazing and miserable all at once. Sure it hurt and I did it all natural but when she came out I felt a since of accomplishment that I will never forget.

I think it's great that people are raising ALS awareness but I'm from California and a farmer. Our irrigation water was cut short this year and we will see atleast a 30% decrease in alfalfa. So tell me again why everyone is wasting water? Donate to the foundation even if you can only afford $5.00! Were in a freaking drought FFS.

gutsysneakers

@Nikkidoll15 - totally agree with the ALS ice bucket challenge. 

lrmrtn

I think the ALS ice bucket challenge is great for raising awareness but I agree it's wasting water and I don't like being "forced" to donate to a certain charity. I like seeing a few friends who've opted to instead donate to another charity that means something to them.

I sometimes miss being pregnant but not enough to do it again right now. I can't believe I complained so much about it. It was a cakewalk compared to being a new mom. And for me, l&d wasn't so bad compared to 9 months of pregnancy.

usernewname

I miss the kicks ...

And my little guy sits with us while we bump around on the computer. Its minimal really. And kinda hard to do in an society ruled by technology.

lrmrtn

And LO "watches" a little Baby Einstein or whatever happens to be on when he's in the room. No guilt. It's at most 1/2 hour, not everyday and sometimes I just gotta survive.

gutsysneakers

For the record, I think each Mama has to do what she has to do to survive - if that means TV, then it means TV. DH and I made the decision to not have her watch it, but to each his/her own. We all do what's best for our kid. Just wanted to clarify so I don't get flamed, but it probably is an UO. 

apinkpelican

Now that the infancy stage is over and I'm seeing LO's personality come through, I am already starting to think about being pregnant again.  I think the next time around I'll enjoy the infancy stage more (I really had a rough first few weeks this time) because I know that it is temporary and passes so quickly.

I thought for sure I'd be keeping LO away from TV and for the most part we do.  I was shocked the other night I laid her down on the couch to hurriedly warm up my dinner when she was super fussy and wouldn't go to sleep.  She stopped crying and was content watching the TV for 5 minutes before she pleasantly drifted off. I couldn't believe it.  No wonder so many parents plop their kids in front of the TV...it works!

I miss my LO so much during the day now that I'm back to work...but I also miss Savannah and Matt and Natalie and Al, and Hoda and Kathy Lee.   Oh and Ellen  

THD7580

I sit DS in his mamas and papas chair and put the baby channel on when I need to get something done. It's not like the kids gonna be in front of the tv all day and or remember. Yes we have to survive.

I do miss being pregnant but not all the crap that comes with it. MS, sciatica, feet up in the ribs. I think I can wait for #2 for at least two years. Not to mention let my poor vagina recoup!

hatrats

I think feminism has f'd things up for women that want to be stay-at-home moms because in the status quo, it is nearly impossible to survive on one income anymore.  I mean, I am glad women have choices now, but I am kind of bitter about having to go back to work when my heart is at home with my baby.  I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too.

Emmagk

i did not enjoy being pregnant, i'm not sure i want to do it again.

I hate my stretch marks, they are not my mummy stripes or tiger stripes. To me they are just hideous reminders that I will never wear a bikini again. When NIP i'm more concerned someone will see my belly than my boobs

bazingaa

I agree with missing being pregnant. I was lucky and had a perfect little bump...now I just have a flabby stomach. I went from cute to bleh. I loved my body for the first time ever when I was pregnant.

thefussybunch

I can't say I miss being pregnant, but would love another... In a year. I want to lose the weight I gained before I get pregnant again because I thought I looked big with DD. I would not be happy gaining another 37lbs at my weight now. Oh wait, forgot to mention waiting another year for my sanity too. Silly me.

lrmrtn

hatrats said:

I think feminism has f'd things up for women that want to be stay-at-home moms because in the status quo, it is nearly impossible to survive on one income anymore.  I mean, I am glad women have choices now, but I am kind of bitter about having to go back to work when my heart is at home with my baby.  I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too.

I also think the whole sentiment that women can now have "it all" meaning career and family is generally crap at least for me and my friends. Most of us feel like we sacrificed family for career or vice versa and those that try to do it all are generally exhausted and feel like they're failing at everything instead of doing one well. And in my area no one can afford to live on one salary... Of course this is just my experience so if you are doing it all and are happy, that's great. I just don't know anyone personally that feels that way.

bridetobe9132013

I also miss being pregnant but im in no hurry to have another! We will start ttc next fall and for now im just going to enjoy my little girl

Jennyinheaven

@mary97‌ , I feel the same way I missed out on seeing my baby be born or right after ( I had an emergency c section and was put to sleep) didn't meet her till 4 hours afterwards but I am older so I think we are one and done. The only thing I miss about being pregnant is not feeeling guilty about wanting to eat all the food.

Jennyinheaven

My UO is that I don't think it is necessary to wash baby clothes first before wearing unless you know your kid is especially sensitive or something.

gutsysneakers

@jennyinheaven - I am soooo guilty of this! 

yepyepsms

I am likely to get flamed here, but I can't wait for sleep training. My daughter is up every hour or two. And not to eat all those times. She just wants me. This has been going on for a month and is every night. I wouldn't mind once or twice at all, but it's killing me. Her brother was the same way until we did CIO at six months. He sttn or had one wake up after two days. He was a much happier baby once he was able to put himself to sleep/back to sleep. I plan to do the same with this little.

ns1

2. @smdukes‌ I feel ya! DS has one "long" stretch and then is up every 1-2 hours. I'm a zombie at work. We sleep trained DD and she is an amazing sleeper. I'm also ready for sleep again! (But I will say since this is likely our last I'm soaking up the cuddles and rocking before we get to sleep training and I'm already a little sad about how fast it's flying by.)

1. I LOVE not being pregnant.

gutsysneakers

Oh, i have another one. I hate cheetah or any other animal print on baby girls. I think it looks trashy.

tbiscuit18

1. I'm also on team "I hated being pregnant". I also swore I was 1 and done, but now I really want DS to have a sibling. It makes me feel bad that he would have to potentially take care of DH and I all alone when we get old, and make decisions seems like a lot to burden one child with. So obviously, the only reason to have another is so they can be burdened together. j/k I love my sister and can't imagine my life without her. I want that for DS. 

2. I got my perfect job and now I'm having second thoughts. I just want every minute I can get with DS. 

3. I started weaning to formula as with my new job, am having second thoughts. I want the best of both worlds. 

4. I hate U2 and Coldplay. They are completely overrated and make terrible music. 

jenb_99

I find Wonder Weeks references annoying.

I'm tired of ice bucket videos. Just write a damn check and quit spamming my newsfeed.

I miss formula feeding. Bottles were so much easier for me.

danabsd

I agree, stop dumping water on ourselves people.  

I love all the baby animal print.  And headbands.  Hate away bitches. 

Actually, I just love all the animal print.

And headbands.  ::Looks down::

gutsysneakers

Well played @sticky11 and @danabsd, well played. 

pandadair

hatrats said:

I think feminism has f'd things up for women that want to be stay-at-home moms because in the status quo, it is nearly impossible to survive on one income anymore.  I mean, I am glad women have choices now, but I am kind of bitter about having to go back to work when my heart is at home with my baby.  I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too.

Yes, damn those women of generations past who dealt with the kind of things women our age probably can't even imagine, so that we could reach a point where women are (generally) accepted in the professional world. Damn them! What feminism has to do with your personal circumstances and inability to live off of one partners' income, I am not sure. Having options in life is truly the worst.

hatrats

pandadair said:

hatrats said:

I think feminism has f'd things up for women that want to be stay-at-home moms because in the status quo, it is nearly impossible to survive on one income anymore.  I mean, I am glad women have choices now, but I am kind of bitter about having to go back to work when my heart is at home with my baby.  I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too.

Yes, damn those women of generations past who dealt with the kind of things women our age probably can't even imagine, so that we could reach a point where women are (generally) accepted in the professional world. Damn them! What feminism has to do with your personal circumstances and inability to live off of one partners' income, I am not sure. Having options in life is truly the worst.

... aaand that's why I posted it as an "unpopular opinion"

ykristos

hatrats said:

I think feminism has f'd things up for women that want to be stay-at-home moms because in the status quo, it is nearly impossible to survive on one income anymore.  I mean, I am glad women have choices now, but I am kind of bitter about having to go back to work when my heart is at home with my baby.  I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too.

Opinion: a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. 

Well, you've got that part down pat. This tops my personal list of "Most Ignorant, Ill-Informed Garbage I've Read on The Bump." 

But yes, can you believe fucking Feminism? How dare the feminist movement attempt to empower women and mothers who have been oppressed by our patriarchal society! You know, the same patriarchal society that doesn't value womanhood or motherhood enough to provide paid maternity leave -- if you actually DID bother to expand upon your obviously lacking knowledge on the subject, you would know that the US trails 99% of the world in maternity leave benefits. I wonder, does this signify that women's issues are grossly undervalued in this country, or that feminism has fucked everything up? 

"I'm glad women have choices now." How big of you. Well, it's too bad you didn't choose to save more for the pathetic FMLA leave offered before having children so that you could stay home, and it's too bad you have spent your entire adult life as a woman without educating yourself about feminism -- maybe you could have become involved, gotten active, and advocated for yourself and your fellow women. But that would have actually required you to do anything besides sit here and bitch. 

You want to be angry at someone? You can be angry at yourself, cupcake. For not understanding how women are systematically oppressed (unequal pay, not provided aforementioned and many other benefits, women's health issues are always on the back burner, etc etc etc -- watch the news?), and for not doing anything about it. 

ykristos

hatrats said:

pandadair said:

hatrats said:

I think feminism has f'd things up for women that want to be stay-at-home moms because in the status quo, it is nearly impossible to survive on one income anymore.  I mean, I am glad women have choices now, but I am kind of bitter about having to go back to work when my heart is at home with my baby.  I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too.

Yes, damn those women of generations past who dealt with the kind of things women our age probably can't even imagine, so that we could reach a point where women are (generally) accepted in the professional world. Damn them! What feminism has to do with your personal circumstances and inability to live off of one partners' income, I am not sure. Having options in life is truly the worst.

... aaand that's why I posted it as an "unpopular opinion"

aaaand that's why people are responding? Because it's ignorant bullshit and truly alarming that a woman in 2014 is sharing such an out-of-touch view? 

ykristos

comicsans said:

My issue with "feminism" is that the term is too broadly (ha) used. A lot of "feminists" use it as a catch all term to do whatever they want and don't really give a crap about actual women's rights. Others use it to chastise women who make choices that differ from theirs.

I honestly don't know any self-identified feminists who do either of these things. I also don't know any feminist who has burned a bra or hates men. These are some second-wave feminism stereotypes that truly don't fit the bill anymore (and never really did).

And feminism by no means purports that women need to "have it all" or do it all -- in fact, that's another patriarchal construct, as why would we be the ones that need to be doing all the things? Equality is the goal here, remember? The entire point of the movement is inciting change and reframing the innately oppressive system in which we live in. It is about equalism and humanism, about focusing on women's issues and women's rights, and allowing women to have a voice about women. Not so radical, y'all. 

ykristos

comicsans said:

I guess we know what gets your panties in a bunch. The overuse of "feminist" is prevalent in the media and a lot of celebrities claim it to enhance their image. Men and women are beautifly different and complimentary. Not saying you're using it this way, but equal is often interpreted as exactly the same. Internet disagreements are a pointless waste of time but baby is sleeping a lot today.

It should get your panties in a bunch, too. It's pretty fucking sad it doesn't. 

pandadair

hatrats said:

pandadair said:

hatrats said:

I think feminism has f'd things up for women that want to be stay-at-home moms because in the status quo, it is nearly impossible to survive on one income anymore.  I mean, I am glad women have choices now, but I am kind of bitter about having to go back to work when my heart is at home with my baby.  I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too.

Yes, damn those women of generations past who dealt with the kind of things women our age probably can't even imagine, so that we could reach a point where women are (generally) accepted in the professional world. Damn them! What feminism has to do with your personal circumstances and inability to live off of one partners' income, I am not sure. Having options in life is truly the worst.

... aaand that's why I posted it as an "unpopular opinion"

And? I guess I've been away from the board for so long that I forgot the UO thread meant "do not respond to others' baseless thoughts on important issues."

pandadair

katsmewsings said:

I'm a proud feminist. Particularly having spent the last ten years of my working life in a male dominated industry. Spend any time working in male dominated industries and you see so clearly how little the corporate world has changed in regards to working women. I've been asked more times than I ever would have imagined re: when I am having children, when I'm taking my husbands last name. I have also been called too ambitious, where men in my role and station of similar age were just called hard working and dedicated. I hate hearing women attacking the movement, because we do not have equality. No where near it, and that is the core tenant any true feminist espouses. Plain and simply, our motives shouldn't be questioned in the work force when we give as hard as anyone else, we deserve respect when we choose to bear children (it's a difficult task and a difficult recovery), we shouldn't be looked down upon when we balance work life and home life (especially when lots of men do the same, it's simply not derided...when Dad makes time for dance recitals and hockey practice they're gods, women do it and our commitment to our jobs are questioned). Feel blessed those of you who have had the privilege of working in industries that are more respectful of women's issues. To those of you who understand my world...I stand loud and proud with you!

Holla, grrrrlfrand. My male co-worker that leaves early twice per week to coach his daughter's soccer games? Soooooo adorable. My female (and more senior, I might add) co-worker needs to work from home one day because she has parent/teacher conferences that afternoon? Chorus of eye rolls. 

pandadair

comicsans said:

I guess we know what gets your panties in a bunch. The overuse of "feminist" is prevalent in the media and a lot of celebrities claim it to enhance their image. Men and women are beautifly different and complimentary. Not saying you're using it this way, but equal is often interpreted as exactly the same. Internet disagreements are a pointless waste of time but baby is sleeping a lot today.

Do tell. Because that sounds awesomely similar to most arguments for why a woman belongs at home.

@sheriot Us bitches are back. Hi!

pandadair

ykristos said:

comicsans said:

My issue with "feminism" is that the term is too broadly (ha) used. A lot of "feminists" use it as a catch all term to do whatever they want and don't really give a crap about actual women's rights. Others use it to chastise women who make choices that differ from theirs.

I honestly don't know any self-identified feminists who do either of these things. I also don't know any feminist who has burned a bra or hates men. These are some second-wave feminism stereotypes that truly don't fit the bill anymore (and never really did).

And feminism by no means purports that women need to "have it all" or do it all -- in fact, that's another patriarchal construct, as why would we be the ones that need to be doing all the things? Equality is the goal here, remember? The entire point of the movement is inciting change and reframing the innately oppressive system in which we live in. It is about equalism and humanism, about focusing on women's issues and women's rights, and allowing women to have a voice about women. Not so radical, y'all. 

No, lady. Any self-identified feminist is an Andrea Dworkin clone that hates men, SAHMs, LYFE, and thinks any penetrative sex is rape. It's true. Look it up.

ykristos

Never felt oppressed or restricted in any way? You say your place is in the home... I wonder if you have ever left it or have contact with the outside world beyond TB? You're a lucky duck. 

flockofmoosen3

Sigh, don't know how to do memes on mobile so...this escalated quickly. My UO is that the whole battle up above was mildly entertaining but unnecessary on the UO thread. Please move on.

My other UO are too controversial to post now I think....

yvanehtnioj

I think decades of downward pressure on wages and the decline of unions has lead us to this point where both parents must work, not feminism. @hatrats‌

Plus another one for missing pregnancy! I want to be pregnant again so bad but I actually don't want 2 kids, nor do I want to do it with a LO running around. Basically I want to relive my first pregnancy where my only cares in the world were enjoying my inside baby and taking naps.

pandadair

comicsans said:

Never felt oppressed or restricted in any way? You say your place is in the home... I wonder if you have ever left it or have contact with the outside world beyond TB? You're a lucky duck. 

My father kept me chained in the basement until he sold me to my husband. DH is super sweet and let's me have a phone with internet access. My previous full-time job eventually didn't pay what I'm worth. I was promised a promotion then basically told I had to prove I was ready for it. Pretty sure it was more a function of the screwed up structure of my dept and a division head who didn't know me having decision making power and watching his bottom line, than me being a woman. In any case, I ultimately decided the promotion wasn't really what I wanted because it would take me away from the pieces of my job I Ioved, and that long term I didn't see a future with the company, and wanted to be able to stay home with my kids, so 2 years ago I quit. Freedom. Some might say the men I worked for treated me unfairly. I say I chose to stay as long as I did and leave when it didn't work for me anymore. Maybe I'm just not as sensitive as some of you chicks. I've also spent time in a third world country where women have no opportunities, racism is the norm and many teen indigenous girls would rather take their life than face a future of being married to a man who treats them like crap or try to make their own way in a world they don't understand and aren't prepared for. I know terrible things still happen in this country, but there are opportunities and choices for women and any minor struggle I may have had here or there pales in comparison. And yes, I can probably thank feminists for that. Like I said, not disagreeing with you, feminism not bad, just oft used as a buzzword. Baby fed and sleeping so I should probably tend to some of my other womanly duties...

Chicks and their hormones, man. 

@jmcdyer Well now you've got to tell! The beasts have already woken, might as well give them something to feed on.

pandadair

jsquaree said:

I think this is where "feminism" is being used loosely: 16 Instances Of Micro-Misogyny That Prove The Patriarchy Is Everywhere

That's that shit I don't like. I realize it's Buzzfeed, and it's (hopefully) sarcastic, but there are women out there that actually believe that shit. That's the kind of thinking that I feel holds us back as women. I'm sorry, but someone holding the door open for me is not trying to oppress me. About 90% of those examples are either people being polite, or being tools, it has nothing to do with low-hanging genitalia.

I don't see what's polite about the assumption that, as a woman in the weight room, you must need help or instruction? Unless by polite, you mean infantilizing and condescending? If it truly is about being "polite", then why is this politeness not extended to other men?

ETA: I still remember a guy coming up to me at a gym on a naval base and suggesting a different arm exercise because "what you're doing could make you bulk up and guys don't find that attractive". Thanks for being so concerned for me about whether I am able to be attractive to the men folk. That is my only concern when working out and my lady brain can't figure out how to achieve it.