Still wiping your child after they use the bathroom? — The Bump
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Still wiping your child after they use the bathroom?

I have a 4 year old who is very independent in every which way but still begs for mommy and daddy to wipe her butt after she uses the bathroom. My husband swears that we're the only parents on earth wiping a 4 (almost 5 at the end of Oct) year olds bottom. Am I? I don't mind too much cause I know I do a better job BUT I do have a 3 month old who is nursing and sometimes it's very inconvenient to stop nursing to go wipe her bottom. Should I encourage her more to wipe herself? TIA! 

Re: Still wiping your child after they use the bathroom?

  • We went through steps for our DD to learn to be independent in the bathroom.  First, I would wipe her clean and then she would do one wipe to get practice.  Once I knew she was good with the amount of toilet paper to get and the using the right motion, she started wiping herself.  Once she felt she was clean, she would call me and I would check her to make sure she was clean.  She was independent the summer she turned 5 and then went off to full day kindy that fall.  DS will be 4 in November and he is still in the practice wipe stage.  HTH! 
    DD~6 years old~born June 6, 2008 (1st grade)
    DS~4 years old~born November 6, 2010 (1st year of preschool)
    neverblushed
  • I don't help either. DD (4) went to three year old preschool last year and I wanted her to be able to do it herself then. My 4 y/o nephew still demands that people wipe him, even his preschool teachers. I have to admit that it really bothers me, especially making his teachers do it, because he is more than able to do it himself. I can see still wanting to double check as a parent, but I feel they should be at least somewhat self sufficient in the bathroom by 4 year preschool.
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  • My DS is a year younger than your DD. I hope he's independent this time next year but at this point we haven't practiced at all.
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  • DD is about to turn four and we still wipe her.  I just know I can do a better job, she won't start preschool until next year so I guess I will start working with her before then.
  • DD is 3.5 and can wipe when she pees but not poop. We have to work on that.
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  • We went through steps for our DD to learn to be independent in the bathroom.  First, I would wipe her clean and then she would do one wipe to get practice.  Once I knew she was good with the amount of toilet paper to get and the using the right motion, she started wiping herself.  Once she felt she was clean, she would call me and I would check her to make sure she was clean.  She was independent the summer she turned 5 and then went off to full day kindy that fall.  DS will be 4 in November and he is still in the practice wipe stage.  HTH! 
    I basically used this method with my kids.  My kids were definitely 4-ish when they could wipe well enough to leave it entirely up to them.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • Here ya go. Fwiw my 5 yr olds still would prefer I wipe them if I would do it, but Ds has encopresis so really, wiping is way down on my list of priorities w him I am just happy if he gets to the toilet... http://www.scarymommy.com/butt-wiping/
    neverblushed[Deleted User]
  • DD goes to kindergarten this fall and is 5.5. We are finally at the stage where she wipes and then I do a check. I might try to get to this stage faster with the others but it's hard with the oldest. DS is 3.5 and nowhere NEAR wiping on his own. He has to do it at preschool so we are working on just doing a basic job, but he won't really be able to wipe well for awhile. 
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  • DD was potty trained at 2 years 3 months and I've never wiped her butt.  I've always encouraged her to be private about bathroom use and other than making sure she washes her hands, I don't get too involved.  She's never really had any problems.   
  • fitmom82 said:
    DD was potty trained at 2 years 3 months and I've never wiped her butt.  I've always encouraged her to be private about bathroom use and other than making sure she washes her hands, I don't get too involved.  She's never really had any problems.   


    Wow. My DS potty trained at 25 months.  He's 2 y 9 mo now.  I could never imagine him wiping well enough for me not to get involved. Sure he tries... but he'd be left with some bad rashes if I left it all up to him.

    We're the opposite of private regarding bathroom use at our house.  Shrugs. 

    DS 11.24.11
    MMC 3.30.16
    [Deleted User]
  • fitmom82 said:
    DD was potty trained at 2 years 3 months and I've never wiped her butt.  I've always encouraged her to be private about bathroom use and other than making sure she washes her hands, I don't get too involved.  She's never really had any problems.   


    Wow. My DS potty trained at 25 months.  He's 2 y 9 mo now.  I could never imagine him wiping well enough for me not to get involved. Sure he tries... but he'd be left with some bad rashes if I left it all up to him.

    We're the opposite of private regarding bathroom use at our house.  Shrugs. 

    DD has never had a rash and rarely has any marks in her underpants, but thanks for judging. I kind of shruged myself that you don't believe in giving your child privacy when going to the bathroom.
  • -auntie- said:
    DS was independent well before preschool at age 4. It was required so we insisted. 

    A lot of parents find kids do better with paper and a wet wipe. 
    just beware of where the wet wipe goes...said the person who had a major blockage in the basement b/c someone's husband thought it was no big deal to flush wipes... ;)
    [Deleted User]
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