MN of one sibling as FN of another?

Steph1673 · August 2014

Would you ever use one sibling's mn as a fn for the next if there was a family reason? I want each child to have a unique name so I'm surprised I'm even thinking about this. And of course it's hypothetical since who knows if I will have another girl, but here's the situation:

DD is Claire Elizabeth. She shares a mn with me, my mom and it's also the first name of my great aunt who goes by Bette (pronounced Betty).

My great aunt is like a grandma to us and a mother to my mom, since my mom's mom died when my mom was little. Bette is now in hospice and I have been thinking how nice it would be to have a little Bette one day in her honor (if we are fortunate enough to have another DD) BUT I already gave the mn Elizabeth to DD1.

Would you take Elizabeth off the table entirely as a fn, or would you consider it if she'd be called the nn Bette?

oliversbear · August 2014

One of my bosses was the oldest boy in his family, and his next younger brother had my boss' middle name as his first name, the next younger brother had the middle name of the middle brother as a first name (for example: Boss Andrew George, Brother 1 George Conrad, Brother 2 Conrad Nathan). I thought it was a strange naming pattern, but had I not known my boss' full name, I would have never noticed the pattern.

Most people will not notice the duplication of first/middle names, so if you want to, go for it. If it comes up and your daughters notice, I'd just explain that you loved Great Aunt Bette so much that you wanted to share her and her name with both your special girls.

jvw2014 · August 2014

Why not just use Bette/Betty as the fn

HeavenBlessedMom · August 2014

Can't go wrong with Elizabeth!

MarxieVonTrapp · August 2014

While I love Elizabeth and usually don't see an issue with it, I wouldn't use Elizabeth as a first name after you've used it for a middle. You could use a form of Elizabeth, like Isabel, Isabella, Liliana, Liesel, Babette, etc. I found a long list of Elizabeth in other languages here.

halo&wings · August 2014

Idani said:
Team use a totally new name. Elizabeth is great but I would never use a name between siblings.

Same here.

jennypolkadots · August 2014

Usually I would say no way, but your case is different. Elizabeth is such a versatile name and has so much meaning to you. And Bette is precious.

I would have no problem using it as a first name in this situation and most people your daughter meets will never know her sisters middle name lol

jennypolkadots · August 2014

Oh I like other posters suggetions of finding a new name that gives you the nickname Bette. Beatrice and Bethany immediately come to mind.

salsamcg · August 2014

My middle name is my youngest sister's first name. We're fairly close in age and people definitely notice. She refuses to use my middle name and replaces it with a different name when "full naming" me. The most common response we get from people is them thinking our parents got lazy (which I kinda agree with).

blu-eyedwife · August 2014

I know you can't go back and change things, but I feel like this is something that should really go into the thought process when naming a child. "If I give child A this middle name, will I want to use it for the a future child?" It's one of the reasons I don't understand using your two favorite names for a first and a middle name (not that that's what you did, just in general.)

Steph1673 · August 2014

Thanks everyone for your comments. I appreciate the honesty. Overall your sentiments mirror my normal, clearheaded opinion on the matter. It was just coming from an emotional place as we just lost aunt Bette tonight after taking a turn for the worse just this week.

Obviously the name would not have come out of laziness and would have a story but not worth it for the sake of having siblings share.

And I don't at all regret already using Elizabeth as a mn with DD1 as I wanted to pass down the middle name from my mom, to me, to me first daughter and it still honors my aunt via her :-) Id never save a name for "what ifs" and have plenty of other favorites if we are blessed with more so sounds like its best to move on from this one

jburdet1 · August 2014

I personally wouldn't do it, but I don't think it's a big deal at all.

DH's fn is his older brother's middle name and it's never been an issue. Sometimes us DILs make catty comments but it rarely comes up and the brothers harbor no bad feelings.

I think often times siblings will find something to play the "woe is me" game so if it's not this it will be something else and they'll get over it.

In your situation I would probably use it. I feel like if she mainly goes by Bette than DD1' s mn will be a far reach to link.

this decaf life · August 2014

I would take it off the table as a FN. Maybe use Bette as the MN?

allthecheese · August 2014

the only way i see it working is if you used Bette as a full name. unless you're going to keep up the pattern if you have more children. I knew a family that went like this. Mother was Martha. DD1 was Mary Martha DD2 was Maria Mary DD3 was Mia Maria and so on. can't remember the rest of the names but i think there was 5 or so girls. not for sure either on the order of all the M ladies but I know there was either a Mia Maria or a Maria Mia.