Rude language

Esthi

I was sitting on a train today . Behind me was a bunch of teenagers. Their way of talking was just horrendous . About two swear words in every sentence. I would not want my DD to grow up and talk like this. I have a few older kids , but they are still young and home a lot . We don't use such language in the house . once they start going out the house they will just pick it up. It really got me concerned today.

wifetomrb101

I was just talking about this with a group of friends, but more in reference to music.  We came to the conclusion that even tho they are hearing it outside of the house, if they try it in the house they`ll get into trouble and will learn really quickly that you don`t say that (or do that, or listen to that, etc).  The kids will definitely test you out, but if you are strict right away it should be possible to stay on top of it...

That being said, my oldest is 2.5

Esthi

Yeah I don't mean to sound old fashioned ... But what I heard today was really beyond anything I ever heard . And once I was a teenager myself . All we can try is to stay on top of it as early as possible

amt0312

I dunno, I have mixed feelings on this. Of course, I will teach my kids that swearing in certain situations is unacceptable, such as on the job, school, etc. But I have a propensity for swearing like a sailor, so I really can't be one to talk. To me, its just words and many times a swear word will get my point across with much more emphatically. Obviously, I recognize the crass nature of my language but am too lazy to try and speak better. 

umma4babes

I think it's a phase and don't really think it's a reflection of their characters. Especially if they are talking that way just amongst themselves. A huge part of it is novelty and thrill of doing something that you know is naughty. My friends and I went through this phase and we are all upstanding citizens with professional careers. I really don't see a problem unless they are using it to strangers or hurting someone's feelings.

peanutmuse

Esthi said:

Yeah I don't mean to sound old fashioned ... But what I heard today was really beyond anything I ever heard . And once I was a teenager myself . All we can try is to stay on top of it as early as possible

Sure, you can try @Esthi. But the behavior that is displayed in front of you is not necessarily the behavior that is displayed when with peers. Bad language does not necessarily mean bad kid.

Rebis58

Swearing is so common for teenagers, developmentally. Even teens who are otherwise well-behaved and respectful. It's about testing boundaries and limits, exerting independence, and fitting in. For me, instead of teaching DD to never swear or trying to shield her, we'll focus more on using language appropriately for the setting you're in. 

I didn't get punished for using swear words in an appropriate way around my parents. If I stubbed my toe and mumbled "shit" or told my mom someone was acting like a bitch (not "is a bitch") they never commented on it, as long as it wasn't hurtful or pointless. I did swear a lot around my friends at times, but in mixed company (adults and kids) I watched my language.

But then again, this will be my parenting philosophy for a lot of things - I'd rather teach DD how to do things safely/respectfully if she chooses to, (swearing, drinking, sex, etc.) than try to prevent the behaviour altogether. I'll also teach her that it's okay to say no, and how to say no if she chooses not to engage in those behaviours, but that won't be the sole focus.

Sorry, that went on kind of a tangent. 

Esthi

@peanutmuse : yes you def. right bad language does not mean bad kid . It's a not so amazing habit I would say. But that's my point . They use "heavy" words without thinking to much about it. And that's what turns it into a habit. But in big shame I have to admit that I shouted at my son the other day and said : stop acting like an idiot because he was chasing an animal

worleygirl

I think that for our family swearing will be one of those "pick your battles" things. I can't control what they choose to say when they aren't around me. I will try to teach them about knowing your audience and environment and hope they make the connections on their own.

peanutmuse

Esthi said:

@peanutmuse : yes you def. right bad language does not mean bad kid . It's a not so amazing habit I would say. But that's my point . They use "heavy" words without thinking to much about it. And that's what turns it into a habit. But in big shame I have to admit that I shouted at my son the other day and said : stop acting like an idiot because he was chasing an animal

@Esthi, my opinion is that the words are not heavy. It's people who make them heavy. I think words like war, murder, rape, torture -- those are the heavy words. Fuck. Shit. The meanings of those words are pretty trivial in comparison.

Esthi

peanutmuse said:

Esthi said:

@peanutmuse : yes you def. right bad language does not mean bad kid . It's a not so amazing habit I would say. But that's my point . They use "heavy" words without thinking to much about it. And that's what turns it into a habit. But in big shame I have to admit that I shouted at my son the other day and said : stop acting like an idiot because he was chasing an animal

@Esthi, my opinion is that the words are not heavy. It's people who make them heavy. I think words like war, murder, rape, torture -- those are the heavy words. Fuck. Shit. The meanings of those words are pretty trivial in comparison.
Since I started this thread I see and hear youth all over the places swearing their heads off ... And guess what, it suddenly makes me grin. I imagine that they do it on purpose , just so that they can see my reaction . But what I really do is, I try to look at the other peoples face expression ( like when sitting in the park, we still on holidays over here ) people are not only not bothered . I think they don't even hear it