Daycare adjusting

tatithomas

DS is 10 months old and up until now under the care of my MIL when DH and I are at work 5 days a week.  We've just enrolled him in daycare part time (2 days a week) primarily to give him some exposure to new people and kids his age as opposed to all day grandma/grandpa.  Selfishly, this will also allow me to work from home two days a week and pick-up/drop-off DS and get to spend more time with him than the typical 1-1.5 hours I lose each way on commuting.  Also, there has been a lot of tension between me and the ILs as a result of our setup and I think space will do everyone some good.

So yesterday I took him to the daycare for a playdate where they allow the parents and children to spend an hour or two at the facility, interact with the kids and caregivers, etc.  I was encouraged to leave the area for a little while to see how DS would react.  I expected him to be upset, but he was WAILING non stop until I returned to the room about 20 minutes later.  The experience was emotionally draining, disheartening, and has me really worried how he'll acclimate once he goes there on his first day in a week.  Since he is only there two days a week I expect it'll take him a little longer to adjust.  DH is already talking about pulling him, but I want to give him time. 

In your experiences, how long did it take your little ones to adjust?  How old were they when they started?  Were they part time or full time?  Essentially I'm looking for some (realistic) encouragement to stick with it   Thanks!! 

cagoldi

My DS really had no adjustment period, but he started at 12 weeks. He's never been upset in their care except a few times while teething and when he's been sick.

I think it's going to be a lot harder for a baby at this age to get used to the new arrangement now that separation anxiety has set in for a lot of the babies. Maybe ask the DC teacher what they expect for a 10 month-old as far as an adjustment period?

Also, I think the fact that he is only part-time is only going to make the transition period longer. Does he have a lovey you can leave for him at DC?

iluvmeg11

I'm going through this now as well except M started daycare at 9 weeks. He never had an issue until now because he just switched classes with the start of the new school year. Completely new room and caregivers. He cried a lot the first day, next day did better but still cried a few times. Today same as yesterday. I hate it cuz M never really cries. He whines but not full on hysterical crying. Only one of the babies that he plays with transferred classes with him but he hasn't been there all week. I think if he was there M may handle it better. Of course I worry but he will get used to it eventually. I just hope it's sooner rather than later.

mamasoup030

iluvmeg11 said:

I'm going through this now as well except M started daycare at 9 weeks. He never had an issue until now because he just switched classes with the start of the new school year. Completely new room and caregivers. He cried a lot the first day, next day did better but still cried a few times. Today same as yesterday. I hate it cuz M never really cries. He whines but not full on hysterical crying. Only one of the babies that he plays with transferred classes with him but he hasn't been there all week. I think if he was there M may handle it better. Of course I worry but he will get used to it eventually. I just hope it's sooner rather than later.

Oh jeez, I hadn't even thought about this, Hayley starts in her new room after Labor Day. I hope we don't experience this! If I have any tips then I'll share them!

tikiroom

I'm in a similar situation, shopping around for daycare 2 days a week starting next year. I came across a Montessori that does not even allow new babies to start between the age of 8-10 months since that is generally when they go through separation anxiety. It's becoming harder for me to slip out the door in the morning for work, and I think a lot of that is due to her age. I'm sure in time you both will adjust, just might be rough at first.

bglovesbabyk

No advice, just letting you know I feel your pain.K flips out when I leave now. They say he calms down eventually, but it makes me feel awful to know he it's sad and to walk away. Hang in there, it will get better at some point I'm sure.

tatithomas

Thanks everyone, your tips and encouragement made me feel a little better!  Once he officially starts I'll update everyone on how he progresses. I'm hoping only a couple of weeks before he gets into the swing of it and makes some friends

mobilejen

Don't worry, he will adjust.  My daughter started daycare at 5 mos, just as she was starting to have separation anxiety.  She was home w/  me full time prior to that.  She was also only in 2 days per week.  We did a couple of drop offs for a few hours.  I'm not sure how much it helped. She fussed a lot there for about a month.  I think it was a little harder because she was only there 2 days/week - it took longer to adjust.   After about a month she was fine.  I sat down on the mat with her next to her main day care attendant and she crawled right to her, with a big smile on her face.   Pretty soon I was able to set her down, she would start playing, would wave goodbye to me & go right back to playing.  We stopped day care last month because I got a different shift.  I was in tears saying goodbye to her favorite teacher Bea. 

It's a bit of an adjustment, but he will get through it.  Let them know what comforts him.  Kate loves music, so the daycare lady sang to her all of the time.  I bet at this age he will adjust faster, because he will be more into playing.  Good luck & stick with it.

JGo517

Oh man. I feel your pain. Same boat here. I'm sending DD to day care 3x a week starting after Labor Day. I know it's going to be an adjustment after me being home 6 months, then my MIL watching her for 6 weeks, then DH and I home with her for the summer! She is such a friendly kid but family is all she's ever known.
We had the "play date" one day last week and again this morning. Cried her eyes out. Then she was sooooooo mad at me when I came back in the room after 20 minutes and basically hasn't left my side all day/night. Breaks my heart.