Intro and question about being OAD

JCM285

Hi ladies! I'm Jenn, 29 years old and 24 weeks pregnant with my first child :-). DH and I are considering being OAD with this child because we had two previous m/cs since last year and we are just really happy to have gotten this far along and also for financial reasons. I was just wondering how many of you ladies are only children and whether you decided being OAD is right for you based on your own experiences. I am asking, because DH and I are both only children and until we TTC, we wanted two children but now we are leaning more towards one. Our only reservation is that LO will not have any siblings OR any aunts, uncles, and cousins which we did have many of growing up ourselves. Anybody else in this boat and did it matter much to your child? We would love to have two but we also feel like its a lot of pressure financially (and emotionally if I were to have any more m/cs). Thanks for listening! :-)

Helenahhandbasket

Hi and welcome!  Congrats on your pregnancy!

The ladies on this board are OaD for all different reasoins-- there is a sticky thread at the top of the page where we all sort of "explain" ourselves (not that your reproductive choices need explaining.)

I am sure not having a sib is high on the list of reasons to maybe have another, but for many the benefits of OaD outweigh that.

JCM285

Thanks @Helenahhandbasket‌!! I am reading through the posts on that thread now. Thanks for telling me :-)

[Deleted User]

Welcome! I was not an only child so I can't offer any experience there. I do know that many of us here are of the mindset that a sibling does not guarantee any kind of lifelong relationship. Plenty of people don't get along with their siblings or whatever. My opinion is that whatever situation will make you the best parents will be best for your LO. Only you can decide if the financial and emotional stress of having another or trying to have another is worth it.

GL with the rest of your pregnancy! Congratulations!

JCM285

Thank you @themommymonster, @bostonkisses, and @rocknrollfriend!  Thanks for the perspective, @rocknrollfriend.  That was sound advice :-)

JCM285

Thank you @Priss08‌, @YellowWallpaper12‌ , and @MissPeansMama‌! @YellowWallpaper12‌, I am sorry for your losses also! Thanks for your sympathy :-)

JCM285

@lildis you make a good point. Although its nice to have someone for LO to relate to, I do realize that it doesnt always work out that way. I also had a lot of friends growing up which helped me fill that gap.

kristennd

It is something we really thought about. DH is an only and hated it. I have one sibling and we get along just fine. So our experiences indicated having more than one would be better. Plus he'll never have cousins, so there isn't that compensation.

But we have so many other reasons to be OAD, that we eventually decided that the sibling angle was not a good enough reason by itself.

JCM285

Thanks @jse25‌ and @kristennd‌. @kristennd, thanks for sharing. I do think having a small family to begin with is making DH and I struggle with being OAD but we can at least agree that we are definitely going to be OAD for a while. We are soo happy to be having LO but also incredibly stressed about how we are going to handle everything between work, family, and finances.