s/o Tooth Fairy. Age most kids stop believing?

ppants

My twins are in 3rd and haven't questioned it too much yet.  I'm hoping we can make it through this year with Santa, but I know it will stop soon.  What age do kids stop believing typically?  How will or have you handled it?  I've read the poem or story that a mom wrote to her child about being Santa and the like.  Is there another way to go about it?

neverblushed

I seriously JUST had this conversation with my son directly after the tooth fairy convo I mentioned in that thread.

My kids have sort of gone through a few stages about this:

--Total Believers:  this is the preschool years, when the child is completely okay with the notion of a fairy who takes teeth, a giant rabbit who invades every house and hides eggs and that this all happens in one night, a fat man in a red suit who drives a sleigh of flying reindeer, etc. 

--Belief with Questions:  Once they get into early elementary, they start to realize that there are things that don't make sense, and they ask questions.  The good news is that they still WANT to believe, so if you give any semi-reasonable explanation or even say, "Gee, I don't know how Santa manages that!  He's amazing, isn't he?" they'll roll with it.  Some parents start to panic at this stage and feel like they have to reveal the truth, but if you can roll through this phase without blinking, you can get a few more years of fun out of the whole deal.

--Truly Skeptical:  At this stage, they basically know that there's no Santa, but they worry that if they stop believing, Santa won't come.  They may try you out by saying things like, "Other people at school don't believe in Santa..."  At this point I just told my kids that everyone had to make their own decision about Santa -- basically admitting that non-belief is an option, but not weighing in.

--Confessed Non-believers:  At this point they'll say something like, "Mom, it's okay.  I know that you are Santa.  You don't have to pretend anymore."  At this stage, I say, "Well, there sort of is a Santa, but he's not a fat man in a red suit.  Santa is a representation of parents' love for their children.  Dad and I have loved being Santa, and we still WILL be Santa, because Santa IS love."

HTH!

My DD actually didn't tell me she was a non-believer until she was about 11, although she was a skeptic from about age 7 until then.  My son, at age 7 said, "Mom, I know there's no Santa, but I still WANT there to be a Santa." That's the third stage: skeptical, so I told him it was fine for him to still believe in Santa if he wants to.  He just recently told me he knows Dad and I bring the presents.

ppants

It does help a lot!!  Thanks for all the info.  I'm sure we're at truly skeptical and maybe on the fast track to confessed non-believers depending on what's said in school this year.  I'm thankful we have some teachers on the board as the responses are very insightful. 

Court0026

Wow, what a great breakdown!  Thanks for sharing.  I have little info to add to this as my kids are younger. 

Mama-Bear

Our kids have never believed in the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny.  Only fictional character they believe in is Santa and DS1 is questioning that. 

CareBear0607

neverblushed explained it perfectly.  I have to say that when I taught 4th grade, 3/4 of my kids didnt believe anymore and 1/4 still did. 

neverblushed

CareBear0607 said:

neverblushed explained it perfectly.  I have to say that when I taught 4th grade, 3/4 of my kids didnt believe anymore and 1/4 still did. 

Yep -- in 4th grade, my DD told me she and one other friend were the only ones in the class who still believed.  But her "belief" was not the same as it had been when she was 4.  Four-year-olds don't talk about whether or not they believe in Santa.  They just DO.  Unless, of course, they've heard from older siblings or friends that there's an option to believe or not.