Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

17 month old sleeping in our bed.

Hi all, so I’m a working mom,  and breastfed exclusively for the first 6 months, and then just night feedings until 9 months.  During this time we co slept, it was just easier since I was a working mom, and needed as much sleep as possible to function at my job. 

Well now she is 17 months old, and is still sleeping in our bed.  Totally my fault, I know!   Well now I found out im pregnant with # 2, and I’m trying to figure out how I can sleep train my little girl to sleep in her crib, soon to be bed.  Now when I put her in her crib,  she cries to the point where she can’t breath, she’s ready to throw up, and I can’t stand seeing her like that so I take her out and she sleeps with us L.

I don’t know what to do. Please help!

Re: 17 month old sleeping in our bed.

  • I'm interested in hearing answers too!  we're in a similar situation.  DS goes to bed in his crib (after me rocking him to sleep), but invariably wakes up anywhere between 10 pm and 3 am, and he comes to our bed for the rest of the night.  I'm 29 weeks pregnant, and time is running out for me to sleep train.  I've made all sorts of excuses for not doing it, in the hopes that he would magically begin to sleep on his own through the night.  I too am a working mom, and I've really been hesitant to train because it's just been easier with this sytem.  Ugh. 

    I think  whatever you do, you have to be consistent and stick with it.  Have you tried rocking/cuddling with your daughter til she falls asleep, and then transferring her to her crib?  I know that's not ideal because ultimately you want her to go to sleep on her own, but it's a step in the right direction. 
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  • Yes,  we have and i'm starting to feel as though she feels trapped in the crib.  we were thinking of taking the mattress out of the crib and putting it on the floor,  like a regular bed, because its not like she can really fall off of it,  it's two inches from the rug.  I'm thinking if i do that and leave her door open, she can easily then see shes not trapped and i'm hoping she will eventually learn to stay in her room. We might try this soon.
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  • you're right.  i have to do it on a long weekend.  I'll start labor day weekend, between my husband and I, we have 5 days off, so thats probably a good time to do this.  It's just the way she cries, and then she gets up and stands in her crib, and tries to climb over it, even though she cant.  The longest i did this was two hours, she fell asleep for a half hour, woke up, stood in her crib for a full two hours and would not go back to sleep so I gave up.  I felt like she wasn't going to go back to sleep, but i guess i should just pick her up and start rocking her again? Doing that over and over? 
  • I've read about a technique where you sit by the crib so the child knows you are there for a couple of nights, and slowly move away from the crib, so by night 7 you are sitting in the doorway. I've only read about this- never tried it myself. I agree with PP that you might try to read about some different sleep training techniques and try out some different ideas. You'll have to stay consistent no matter what you do to establish the expectation, and stick with it!

  • thank you all so much, i will definetly do this.
  • As usual Nic is spot on.  I think that your DD doesn't feel trapped by her crib but she wants to be in your bed and that's what she is used to.  If you are really concerned by her climbing out of her crib then put a mattress on the floor for her but at 17 mos I would definitely try to make the crib work first.  
    Consistency is the most important thing here.  If you are not consistent (2 hours of crying and then taking her bed anyway) then she will not understand what's expected of her.  Also, CIO does not mean putting your LO in a room and leaving them to cry alone.  There are a lot of methods to try for sleep training.  Read up on a few books.  I really liked Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems.  He gives lots of good info on sleep so you can understand where the issue is for your LO.  He also advocates doing checks that get progressively longer- 1 min, 3 min, 5 min, etc. 

    There are a lot of options for you.  Find one you like and stick with it.  Yes, your LO is going to cry because she is not getting what she wants.  But if you are consistent with a method she will get it.  
    [Deleted User]nymom1015spikeinc
  • Also, I think the No Cry Toddler Sleep Solution has tips that are specifically designed around transition from co-sleeping to crib, but I'm not 100% sure. That said, it's super cheap on Amazon (I got the baby version used for literally $.02, so the investment is minimal!)
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  • edited August 2014

    We are at this point to at 13 months with baby number 3 coming in 4 months! He either sleeps in bed with me, or I kid you not right on his fathers chest. All 23 lbs of him right on daddys chest! I have no idea how to fix it! My now 11 year old did this too, and we ended up just putting him in a bed at 16 months.

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