Hello (Intro. Loss Mentioned. Possible TMI.)

C6091 · August 2014

Hello,

I was told the best thing to do is to post an introduction and let people know who you are and what your story is. So here is mine.

My name is Connie and I am 20 years old. I am from a small country in the United Kingdom called Scotland. It isn't much but it's home. Had a rough upbringing and all that boohoo stuff. If you want the details I shall tell (But I very much doubt you will be interested). I am also deaf in both ears and wear hearing aids. I met my lovely partner in June 2013. We are each others first real relationship. I'd never said "I Love You" until him. I hope to marry him one day if all stays well. I have a feeling it will.

Some Fun Facts About Me:

I have just got a new house and I am in the middle of decorating it. It has two bedrooms. One for me and my partner and one for Bump! I hope!.

I am in the process of learning to drive.

I like to read and watch season upon season of TV Shows. I'm currently halfway through True Blood.

My display picture on "The Bump" are the slippers my partner bought me for Christmas.

I don't have a signature because er well.. I'm new and I don't know how to make one lol..

I am a very happy and friendly person.

When I was 19 I suffered a Chemical Pregnancy. I had never even heard the term up until this point. I remember the feeling I felt when I got my BFP. I just sat and stared at it for at least ten minuets and even after that it still hadn't sunk in. I told my partner and he was so happy as was I. A couple of days after I had gotten my BFP I started to have vaginal bleeding. I had already scheduled an appointment with my doctor. When I attended I told her that I had gotten a BFP but I was now experiencing bleeding and asked "Could the test have been wrong and this was now my delayed period" to which her response was "It is very unlikely that you would have gotten a false positive". I had a blood test taken. Once the results were back from the lab I was told they showed hCG levels that were decreasing as opposed to increasing and it appeared that I had suffered a chemical pregnancy. I remember feeling dazed as she went on to explain that these can occur due to abnormalities in the developing baby. I felt anger towards my body and I felt like I was a failure as a woman. When I told my partner he broke down.. And still ten months later we find it hard to talk about. The chemical pregnancy happened in the November of 2013. Today I feel sad, especially when I'm painting the spare room in the new house. I think If it hadn't happened I could be painting this room for a baby that would be due any second or had just been born. I tend to push those thoughts to the back of my mind. The first time was an unexpected pregnancy. My partner and I have been TTC again for the last two months but we are now considering putting it on hold until we are more stable financially and emotionally. I'm scared it will happen again. I only joined The Bump recently. I am looking forward to meeting you all and getting to know you.

So that's my story, If you have anything else you would like to know then feel free to message me or comment. I look forward to making friends with those who have experienced similar situations

Connie xo.

MrsPhD83 · August 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. Recovering (physically and emotionally) from a loss can take time. This is a community where we all know what you've gone through, and I hope you find comfort here as you spend more time giving and receiving support. Welcome to the board!

PinkCamino · August 2014

Welcome. I'm so sorry you find yourself here.

tigerlynx31413 · August 2014

I am so sorry for your loss! I hope you find the support and comfort you need!

thegiantfam · August 2014

EurydiceNymph reminded me that I am still mother, even though I don't get to hold my child. The comfort that offered me was immense. I know what you mean about not being able to talk about it, even with your SO. It can make the loss feel even lonelier. Glad you have found a place where your grief is allowed and welcomed.

mrspipp · August 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's important to take time to heal, emotionally and physically, before starting to try again. Welcome to the board.

rmpar29 · August 2014

I am very sorry for your loss. Thanks for posting an intro and I hope that you find the support that you are looking for here.

meredithcarole · August 2014

Welcome. I am so sorry for your loss.

negritosmami · August 2014

i enjoyed reading your intro and getting to know more about you..im so sorry for your loss...best wishes to you and your partner as you try again.

buggirl72 · August 2014

I'm sorry for your loss and welcome to the board.

You mentioned that you are your partner are thinking about waiting to TTC until you are more emotionally and financially stable. Both of those are very solid reasons to wait. You are fortunate that you are young. Take the time to mourn your loss. Make sure both of you are ready to try again and that having a child will not be financially difficult for the both of you.

As far as your second bedroom, at this time, I would decorate it as a spare bedroom or some other room you both can use now. Having a decorated nursery is a lot of pressure.

Elliecat17 · August 2014

Welcome and so sorry for your loss. I hope that your time here is brief, but these ladies are wonderful!

jennadesigns · August 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board. There are so many wonderful, supportive ladies here. Take all the time you need to grieve your loss. There's nothing wrong with waiting to TTC until you've healed. That being said, some people find TTC healing as well. Either way, I hope your time here is short!