** Baby shower at work - Really not in the mood

jennym25

We have a "surprise" baby shower at work for a co-worker that im not very fond of. She applied for the position knowing she was pregnant but didn't say anything during the interviews and was willing to commute and do all the things needed for her position. She has to commute about an hour to get to our offices which can be dreadful even if you are not pregnant. She has complained since about the ending of the 1st trimester just about everything you can imagine. Now she is working from home 3 days a week and 2 from our office because she is to tired to drive. I understand that all pregnancies are different and shes only the second one we have had in my office, my boss being the first and she worked until the last minute before going in for her c-section. I guess i am annoyed about all the complaints and pitty party she gives herself because she is pregnant instead of embracing it and being happy about it. I am on my 2WW and really dreading going to this baby shower. I havent told anyone at work about what i have been up to the last few months. How do i pretend to be happy for her during this event when all i want to do is run to the ladies room and cry :-/ ?

jennym25

@bibliothecary it doesnt affect my life completely but when her complaints and all the considerations given to her affect my job then that what bothers me more... i know i need to get over it but its hard.

BunnyBerry

I'm so sorry, I hope it's a quick little shower with something delicious to put in your mouth and muffle the totally reasonable snide comments.  

Hollowvic

I skip baby showers right now. I wouldn't feel bad one bit about skipping it. Life's too short do what's good for you. Just MO.

AnnaClaire256

BunnyBerry said:

I'm so sorry, I hope it's a quick little shower with something delicious to put in your mouth and muffle the totally reasonable snide comments.  

My thoughts exactly....couldn't have said it better myself. You can make it! Feel free to come back here and vent about her afterwards.

LindseyM2012

Not a fun day!  I agree with @LSantay that you can excuse yourself to get on with your work instead of having to fake your way through this poor use of company time.  I will never understand why it is considered appropriate to have a baby shower at work.  If people wish to celebrate this, have it outside of work hours so those who choose not to participate can not participate.  It is just awkward, especially if you're not particularly fond of the woman.

I'd just scam a piece of cake (or whatever food they have), take a few mins to offer the polite/obligatory congratulations and go about the normal day.

TiffW2012

I understand it can be difficult to be around pregnant people that you are not fond of.  I agree with PPs that maybe you can show up briefly and then excuse yourself to get back to your work.

However, I don't think it is appropriate for you to judge her for going through the interview process without disclosing that she is pregnant.  Women are not required to make that public to potential employers, and I don't blame her for not disclosing the information in case she was worried about being discriminated against.  Men are free to look for new employment at any time in their life.  Women should be afforded the same.

ETA: forgot a word.

Pintobean39

I'd bring my phone in there ask a friend to call me and politely excuse myself to go talk on my phone in my office. Then is go in my office get on the bump with my phone up to my ear, just in case someone walks in, you can pretend you are listening. After 30-45 mins I'd go back and just apologize and say a friend/family member had a crisis.

jennym25

@TiffW2012 - I guess i am judging her but not because she didn't disclose the fact that she was pregnant but because she knew she was pregnant, was going to have a long commute and the work hours were not your normal 8-5. About a month into her assignment was when she said that she was pregnant and could only work until 4, which leaves extra work for others and myself in our office. I work for a big company and she was a transfer from another location so she knows the drill with the work requirements. She is now requesting 6 months maternity leave, so this has caused a lot of drama in our office. Regardless, you are right i shouldn't judge but i did and for that i give myself a slap on the hand.

So shower is done, it wasn't as bad because it was more of a lunch with co-workers (both men and women - about 20 of us), there were decorations but i blocked them out. I did have me a big piece of vanilla and chocolate cake (looked like two decent slices) and came back to my desk before gifts were opened . I SURVIVED what i was dreading the most today. I should get back to work now....

LindseyM2012

Glad you made it through! 

BeckyM613

It may seem like a b***h move, but I wouldn't go. I understand it's a big deal for her and she is probably loving being in the spotlight, but the truth is that once that baby comes along she isn't even going to remember who was at her work baby shower or not. You need to do what makes you happy and increases your inner peace.

I have to go to my sister's baby shower in a week and a half and I WISH I could avoid it.