XP: Won't wear diapers, Won't go on the potty... — The Bump
Potty Training

XP: Won't wear diapers, Won't go on the potty...

I've reached a bit of an impasse with my daughter, who is nearly 2.5. She started taking off her diapers a few weeks ago, and she also easily peed on the potty before bedtime each night with her older sister for months now. I thought she was ready to potty train and so I started doing what worked for my older daughter. I let her pick out undies, she was very excited, and tried putting her on the potty frequently. It worked at first, but after a couple of days, she started refusing to sit on the potty at the given intervals. She wouldn't even "try" just said "NO! I don't have to go."
So now, we've been at it for close to 3 weeks. She won't put back on diapers (even a pull-up at naptime is a major tantrum), but she won't go to the potty when asked. Today, she's had 4 pee accidents in her undies so far. She seems to just enjoy getting new clothes and getting herself dressed. I've tried saying "Oh no! You got your clothes wet, whoops!" but she doesn't seem to distinguish this as a bad thing. I don't know what to do. She is NOT understanding. Or she is just choosing to be stubborn, whatever. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's really frustrating and I can sense the power struggle I am trying desperately to avoid. I really thought she was ready, or I wouldn't have even started. I also thought she'd be quick to train since she is eager to do what her big sister does. Gah. Suggestions? I'm trying to just back off, but when she won't go back to diapers, it is hard. 

Re: XP: Won't wear diapers, Won't go on the potty...

  • That sounds really frustrating!  DD seems to need to be in control as well, which made the process a really  big struggle.  We tried the three day weekend potty training, and she would sit on the potty happily all day, then stand up and pee on the floor or in her pants.

    We ended up needing to make having accidents a little more uncomfortable for her.  Sounds like your daughter enjoys what happens after she has an accident - which is not the association you want!  For DD, we made her take off her clothes and wipe her legs.  She hates taking off her own clothes, and she figured out quickly not to have accidents (but also how to hold it... all day).  Sounds like that won't work for your DD.  How would she respond if you told her she couldn't wear undies/pants because she can't seem to get to the potty in time?  Like it's a reasonable consequence for having an accident?  

    Or, if she has an accident, she needs a diaper.  How is she with snaps?  You might be able to find some cheap used cloth diapers that close with snaps that you can get on her that she can't take off right away....  just spit-ballin' ideas here :)
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