MIL smokes

Hugs&kissesxoxo

So my MIL smokes. A lot. She smokes everywhere, her house, her car, anytime she is outside, etc. well for that reason we do not allow DS to go to her house and we meet her for a meal somewhere so that she can see him. I feel very strongly about not exposing him to smoke at tht level and I am not going to apologize to her for it. She on the other hand feels like I am keeping her grandson from her and doesn't understand my 'beliefs' as she calls them. My dh is in agreement with me and supports me 100%. He doesn't want her bad habit to effect our son's life. But she is making me feel so guilty about her not seeing my son. Am I being over protective? Sorry so long.

Helenahhandbasket

My girlfriend's mother is a heavy smoker.  These are the "rules" for her own mother when she visits:

1) no smoking for the duration of the visit (including driving to my friend's house)

2) must change shirt before holding baby.  My friend keeps a few tops of her mother's at her home that she launders/ provides for her mom to use for this specific purpose.

It seems to work for them.  Good luck-- I am not sure what I would do in the same situation.

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Pips09

Ditto everyone else. I would do the same as you. You are not keeping your child from her, you are protecting him while she chooses to smoke. 

+1 my hill to die on.

74dragonfly

Team you.

[Deleted User]

We were in the same boat.  You are 1000% justified in looking out for your son's health.  

YogaSandy

Nope. DS does not go anywhere that they smoke in the house. If some has been smoking, they don't hold him.

I lived with my parents (nonsmokers) for three weeks when my son had colic. My mom's neighbour/friend is a heavy indoor chain smoker. When mom would go visit her, she would shower and change before holding / taking care of my son.

My family (majority are non smokers) know how I feel about being around smoke myself (severe allergies) and have known for long time. I make no apologies for looking out for my own health and I definitely won't make any for looking out for DS's health.

Cute note - my sister is quite a bit younger than i am. She learned about the health hazards of smoking in school. My uncle is a chain smoker. She was about six or seven and begged him to stop smoking because "you'll get cancelled and die" Obviously she meant cancer.

HerHighness

Your kid, your rules

I would not allow DD to go to MILs house when she smoked in the house either. I also made her change her shirt if she went outside while here to smoke. I dont have any issues with smokers i just dont want the chemicals around my kid. Almost all of the people i know that smoke dont even smoke in their own home or car. They dont want their children exposed to it either.