Vent about a judgmental waitress

k1911

Hey ladies,

So today my friend and I went out for lunch.  When we got to the restaurant, the waitress started telling us all of the drink specials and then looked at my belly and said "oh I guess you can't have any of these though."  I said "Nope.  I'll have a coke please." And THEN she says to me "You can't have that!" Ummm, excuse me???  I said "....yes I can" and she said "no you can't!!  You can't drink any caffeine!"  And she continued to argue with me for a while about how you can't drink pop when you're pregnant.  WTF.  She was probably 20-22.  Anyway, she brought my damn coke but at that point I just wanted to leave I was so mad.  We ordered nachos and they were awful (burnt, barely any cheese, didn't bring any gauc when we asked twice).  We complained to the manager and I also mentioned she told me I wasn't allowed to have coke.  We got a free meal and needless to say, did not tip.  I don't know if it's the hormones of what but I got SO mad and had a hard time letting that go.  Hell, if I ordered a glass of wine she should have brought that over no questions asked.  Ugh.  It's hard enough being pregnant without having to deal with judgmental people who have no idea what they're talking about.  I wanted to write on the bill "Tip: Pregnant women are allowed 200 mg of caffeine a day.  A coke has 45 mg of caffeine in it.  Get your facts straight before you judge."  Buuuut I didn't.  Should have!  Anyway, thanks for reading ladies, just wanted to vent to people who understand!  Hope that people were pleasant to you all today!  

Also...just realized I could have posted this in "Dumb shit people say to pregnant women"....ah well.

mrsodonnell12

Wow I'd be pissed! So not her place.

JamieK1882

Ew. Glad you got a free meal at least.

Lilwatz

Fun fact: My friends own a brewery with a tap room in Maryland and told me that they had to take training in which they were informed they are not allowed to refuse a pregnant woman alcohol.  

If they have to be served booze, clearly caffeine is allowed!  Jerk!

turtles7

I'm surprised you let it get that far. I wouldn't have ordered food and would have asked for a manager when she first argued with you. I'm sorry you had to go through that! You handled it better than I would have. 

Lilwatz

kyliedaniellexx said:

Lilwatz said:

Fun fact: My friends own a brewery with a tap room in Maryland and told me that they had to take training in which they were informed they are not allowed to refuse a pregnant woman alcohol.  

If they have to be served booze, clearly caffeine is allowed!  Jerk!

This is true everywhere in North America, as far as I know... it's considered discrimination and they can sue the establishment. Plus there's a fine line - how can you ask someone to prove they are pregnant? I used to work at a sleazy bar and pregnant women would come in all the time.

Exactly.  Can you imagine if you were just overweight and sometime tried to not serve you?!?!  Mortifying.

My friends told me they encourage them to ask again to give them time to rethink it. For example, if someone orders a martini, you ask what brand liquor they want in it.  Then they have to make a conscious choice to say what brand and you are sure they are sure they want it.  I thought that was interesting.

absolutelymaybe

Wow. I can't believe the nerve of some people.

If we did a throat punch Thursday, I'd nominate your waitress.

k1911

Lilwatz said:

Fun fact: My friends own a brewery with a tap room in Maryland and told me that they had to take training in which they were informed they are not allowed to refuse a pregnant woman alcohol.  

If they have to be served booze, clearly caffeine is allowed!  Jerk!

Wow!  I had no idea, but this makes sense. I have a friend who is a nurse that works with preemie babies, and she had the odd glass of wine while pregnant.  She ordered it at restaurants and was never turned down wine.  We are adults here right, should be allowed to call our own shots.  

k1911

lissydee said:

This may be fw, but I've totally ordered a glass of wine with my dinner when pregnant all 3 times. No server has ever given me grief either for doing so.

Good for you girl.  No judgments here.  I'm glad you never got any grief. 

kikimeemee

I like to see these situations as learning experiences. Perhaps the manager spoke to the 20 y/o server and let her know that it's a no-no to push your opinion on a customer like that. She should have known better but maybe she just didn't know that etiquette yet.

I would have been agitated, too.