First BO and scheduled D&C

lmilchman

After TTC with my husband, and 9 weeks of carrying what we thought was our little bundle, an ultrasound confirmed BO. My Dr wouldn't see me before 8-10 weeks so there was no way of knowing about BO before this. I am absolutely devastated as this would be our first child and I have scheduled a D&C for this Wednesday. Im having a really hard time coping as we have been preparing for a child for such a long time. We are finally mentally and financially ready and now this happens.
I'm reading so many stories on repeated problems after the first BO and I guess I'm looking for some realistic advice as to what to expect. I am so healthy, as is my husband and I just can't justify this. I can't see myself going through this again.

Any words of advice or what to expect after Wednesday would be great. I found a new Dr after some frustration with my original and she tells me that she doesn't expect an issue- however I was sobbing at the time and I feel she just wanted me to feel better.

meredithcarole

I am sorry for your loss. I haven't experience a BO, but everyone here has experienced at least one loss. Most here have yet to get their rainbow baby, but we are still trying. The past is not necessarily a predictor of the future. Your loss is new and while it will always hurt, there will come a time when you are ready to try again. Once the desire is stronger than the fear you will know. Until then you are welcome on the board. As for success stories, perhaps ask the PGAL ladies. I am sure they would be happy to share their experiences with you.

tlc35

I am very sorry for your loss.  Many ladies have a BO and go on to have healthy pregnancies but most people who are still here haven't yet.  Sometimes I go lurk on PGAL just to see the successes.  Welcome to the board.

lmilchman

@HoldingOutHope‌ @meredithcarole‌ Thank you both for the support and quick responses. Just needed some help as I am learning how to deal. Thank you.

meredithcarole

"Learning how to deal" is a continually evolving process. But it will get easier. ((Hugs))

rslh10

I am so sorry for your loss. The pp are correct in saying that the pain will get easier to handle. You will be able to function at your new normal, and you will feel the desire to ttc again. A loss is just such a smack in the face after months of trying, and finally getting the long awaited bfp. We all understand your hurt. Welcome to the board.

[Deleted User]

So sorry for your loss. As far as what to expect with your D&C, I also anticipated something horrible and was relieved when things went smoothly. The hardest part was all the waiting and question answering before the procedure, and waking up alone after. The cramps were bad for 2-3 days after but manageable with the super size Ibuprofen, I was also pretty bloated for a week or so. Really it was more emotionally difficult than it was physically. T & P's that things go smoothly and you recover quickly. ((hugs)) welcome to the board. 

ellebelle2384

I'm sorry for your loss.  As for the D&C I agree with PP that I anticipated it to be much worse than it was.  Make sure they give you a prescription for super Motrin in case you have cramping afterwards.  The other PP have given you great suggestions about where to find success stories so I will just send hugs and say welcome to the board.

Km380

I'm sorry for your loss. Most drs don't see you until 8 weeks. Unfortunately most will also deem the first a fluke bc it is sadly common. Give yourself the time to heal physically as well as emotionally. The fear to ttc will remain but at some point you will find the desire to have a baby outweighs that fear. I hope all goes well Wednesday for the d&c, as others said the waiting is the hardest part.

jennadesigns

I'm sorry for your loss - welcome to the board. I hope you find a lot of support and comfort here. Previous posters have given you good advice. We're happy to have you, but you might find more success stories over at PGAL. I don't lurk there as I find it's just kind of difficult for me.

I had a BO and ended up needing a D&C as I'd passed none of it. My D&C was done in the doctor's office with twilight sedation and I barely remember any of it. It didn't hurt and afterward I had a little bit of cramping but nothing I needed to take anything for. I also bled lightly for about five days afterward. It was a completely different experience from my previous D&C, so know that everyone and every procedure is unique. I hope yours goes smoothly for you.

((Hugs)) I hope you find some positive stories.

daystardreams

I'm in the same boat as you. I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum at nine weeks also. I'm on my fourth cycle TTCAL and no more pregnancies healthy or otherwise. Only time can tell if somebody will experience another or not. All we can do is try and hope for the best. I know that it is so hard and I'm sorry for your loss.

alleycat39

So incredibly sorry for your loss. The days and weeks after a loss are tough, I won't sugar coat it. However, time does help in the "coping" process. As for the surgery, the anticipation is often worse than the actually procedure since you'll be asleep for it. (Hugs)

mpiemont

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself.

My D&C was relatively painless physically. Good luck & hugs.

heathersf11

I'm sorry for your loss. I also had a BO in December at 7 weeks. I haven't had any luck getting pregnant since then, but have been told that this type of miscarriage for most is a one time occurrence, although there are several people here on the board who have have multiple BOs. ((((Hugs))))

uromys

I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome. This board has been a tremendous help for my emotional healing. Personally I have not experienced a BO but did have a D&C two weeks ago. The waiting was honestly the hardest part. Afterwards I felt fine and had minimal bleeding until day 5. I'm not sure you want to base my experience after that since I believe to of have retained tissue. Doesn't happen all the time but its definitely a possibility. I should be finding out this week further details on it. For me having the D&C gave me a sense of closure. DH and I would love to try again, but are currently still waiting a cycle. Wishing you the best of luck Wednesday! Just remember the waiting really is tougher then the actual procedure.