Holy. Shit. Literally.

MrsT0514

I thought the day would never come, but Jesus Christ on a surfboard....it happened.

My kid decided in the 5 minutes between him waking up and me going in to grab him that he'd paint his entire crib with his own shit.

Someone please, for the love of God, drink for me. That was one of the most disgusting tasks I've ever had to deal with I think. ::Vom::

MrsT0514

rtsw said:

This is one of my biggest fears.  I will absolutely have a drink for you tonight.

it was one of mine too...aaaaaaand my kid must really aim to please bc he really made it happen!

MrsT0514

I JUST got out of the shower too. Ugh.

MrsT0514

FTWR said:

DH would just run out of the room saying 'oh shit oh shit oh shit' over and over again.

This is probably how my DH would react as well. In addition to lots of ensuing dramatic gagging.

phunkyphish

That's awful! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. The closest I've come is P taking her diaper off in the kitchen (of all places) and pooping on the floor while I wasn't looking. When I found her, she was trying to vacuum it up with her toy vacuum, resulting in me cleaning both the floor and the vacuum. I do appreciate her effort though.

jesuisfatiguee

All my sorries.

thebanich

I wish I could crack one open for you right now!!

vandelay

Oh god, I'm so sorry. That happened to my sister. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time.

NeneCakies

Oh my. I'd be beside myself.
And then maybe take pictures.

MrsT0514

phunkyphish said:

That's awful! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. The closest I've come is P taking her diaper off in the kitchen (of all places) and pooping on the floor while I wasn't looking. When I found her, she was trying to vacuum it up with her toy vacuum, resulting in me cleaning both the floor and the vacuum. I do appreciate her effort though.

Lol. This is hilarious. I think I'd rather your situation though. At least the mess would seem more "contained".

Idk. Anything having to do with poop smearing is something I'd rather not have to clean up, but eh...thats kids for ya! No grossness barometer.

lilorangekitty

I'm sorry. This happened to my sister too. My nephew had painted himself as well as the crib/ walls and had some on his mouth! VOM

FalconCrest

DS went though a phase where he painted his crib with poop.  We call that a shitastrophe.

flyingsaucer

DD did this all the time, and she would wipe it all over her face and arms too. She is gonna be a fun teenager. Once she did it 10 minutes before our realtor was due to come show our house.

MrsT0514

TyrannosaurusLex said:

*at least it was your own kid's shit*
:::bows out:::

truth. Anyone else's shit I would not be touching with a 10 foot pole.

MrsT0514

@flyingsaucer‌ omg that sounds like such a shitty situation! No pun intended.

Yeah...my kid was also covered completely head to toe...including his mouth.

NeneCakies

Hawkward said:

TyrannosaurusLex said:

I have found shit in some amazing places. Under bookshelves. In bookshelves. Between couch cushions. On a seesaw. In a shoe.

The worst is dried up shit. I mean, clean up is better, but there are so many more questions, like, how long has this shit been in my classroom?

And how are you sure it's not just old chocolate? Smell test?

dovetail223

Parenting lurker here...but my mom says I did this once when I was younger. Apparently the story goes I did it when I was supposed to be taking a nap and basically finger painted on the walls above the crib. She said it was everywhere including all over me. Yeah...thank god for no memories from toddlerhood!

dovetail223

Encchanted said:

I am dreading the day. I know it's coming.

My brother did this once when he was a kid and it was just him and my grandfather there. Grandpa (who didn't change any of his own kids' diapers) got him all cleaned up and told him to not do that again unless the women were home. Put brother back in crib and kept smelling shit. Finally figured out that my brother had managed to get it under the mattress.

I love this...the good ole days!

MrsT0514

Welp...according to my MIL, MH did this kind of shit as a toddler. Great...the apple seemingly doesn't fall far from the tree. Thanks, DH.

SomersIsles

I hope you took pictures send it to your child's senior yearbook lol. For real though, that sucks

I went to a birthday party at mcdonalds once and a child decided to do this inside one of the play tunnels... Omfg