For my fellow unexplained 2IFs...

Steph1673

How did you decide your best road to treatment?

Right now my RE is fine with up to 4 IUI's before we talk IVF. We are two down and on the road to the third. It's the least intrusive, most cost effective place to start so it makes sense to us. I just can't help but wonder how we'll ever make the huge decision to get more aggressive though, without knowing the "why?". Spending only hundreds for insemination to up our chances make sense. But it hasn't worked yet.

And I would have no problem moving toward IVF and/or adoption if I knew we had a DX that meant we couldn't achieve pregnancy without those measures or that our DX meant those were our only options, but with 'unexplained' the next two options seem like very serious, very expensive "shots in the dark". Does that make sense? Especially knowing that we conceived DD apparently by magic with no IF issues at all. 

If RE could say: you don't ovulate. your eggs suck. the sperm sucks. you cant get pregnant without this. or you can't even get pregnant. We think it would make deciding to take a more aggressive route to more children easier for us. Or maybe not? Maybe the why doesn't matter and if it works, it works?

annibes

It's hard to decide. We are mostly unexplained, too, except that DH's morphology might have something to do with it. We have the added pressure of having a child with autism, which can be highly genetic. Sober have opted to continue to try naturally and undergo procedures that can diagnose or help us in some other way (lap for me helped with some mild endo, varicocelectomy for DH helped with some discomfort he was having).

We are also undergoing genetic testing (long, drawn out testing, ugh) to see if the geneticist can give us some more specific probabilities of having another child with autism. If chances are high, then we will not pursue treatment. If chances are not so high, then we will try IUI. DH and I are not comfortable with the idea of paying for IVF yet. If we can't have more on our own, we will adopt.

pettycrocker

I felt like we were super pressured into IVF after 1 clomid / IUI (with no trigger even) now after 2 FAILED ivf cycles, and having gotten pregnant on my own TWICE, I'm in a really salty place with them. I'm actually getting ready to go back and discuss potentially doing more IUI WITH triggers, because I know that alone can increase our chances of success (esp timing wise) Idk if my RE will be on board, but I am not mentally on board for another IVF right now. 

Now I totally feel you on the lack of DX, especially since we've had all the testing come back perfectly NORMAL, and there was no explanation they could give as to why we weren't getting pregnant again. Two different RE's have said "Well you obviously can get pregnant, but it could take you another 5 years to do it successfully" not something I want to hear at this stage of in my life. The crazy thing in my case particularly is that two IVF cycles FAILED, (well to elaborate the first was a total flop, the 2nd cycle turned out to be my first ectopic pregnancy but it was obviously not a good pregnancy regardless of that because my HCG was shitty from the start- my 2nd ectopic I had amazing betas- that time I got pregnant on my own) 

This is in my experience one of the worst DXs you can get, for the simple fact that you get NO ANSWERS. I'm like you, I feel like if we could get ANY ANSWERS, I would be able to mentally move forward one way or another- It is so hard to keep committing myself physically/mentally/emotionally to IVF cycles that are so taxing on you as a person, and have it not be successful and not know why, but then get randomly pregnant on our own twice? Total mindfuck.  

phishgirl29

I was sort of in your position when we first started TTC (though I've never gotten pregnant on my own). I was told initially that it was my thyroid but I've been regulated since I was 22 so I didn't buy that. The RE put me on metformin (I don't have pcos) because some people respond better to treatment while taking the meds. I did that while we did 4 IUIs (3 with clomid and 1 with Ferrara) before the IVF talk happened.

When I asked my RE about the diagnosis of unexplained, he said that there is a reason as to why, but there hasn't been a test created yet to tell us what it is. I found comfort in that for some reason.

I hope you find out some answers soon!

lazfam1120

I don't have much advice, but am in the same position diagnosis wise. All test results have come back completely normal, like if the RE tells me one more time that I'm super fertile healthy and great, I will kick her. DH's test results are all normal as well, and it took TWO months to conceive our son. I remember actually being upset after the first month when it didn't work right away. Oh if I would have known then what I know now.

I have only done 3 rounds of Clomid (one with a trigger) at this point, and am switching RE's so I can be closer to my job when I have to leave for monitoring. I was 45 minutes away before, and now I will be 15. It just makes sense if I'm going to be having to take time away all the time. But anyway, we will probably be trying an IUI in September.

I totally hear you on the options. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I may need IVF. I agree that it's such a hard diagnosis because there are no answers. It always makes me think...am I really destined to not be able to get pregnant and my son is just a miracle of good luck?! I mean, babies are miracles anyway, but you get it

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sailorgal

I let the RE decide the best road for us - I really am happy with our clinic and really like this RE.

But I feel you...I just keep reminding myself that this baby is going to cost far more in the future than what we are spending now!!

jen4ny

We are unexplained as well and it is hard to know what the right thing to do is. Our RE said that he didn't even want to discuss IVF right now and we will start with IUI (this following two failed clomid cycles). I am fine with that since we can't afford the IVF anyway. But I do wonder what the success of the IUI will be since we don't know why we aren't conceiving in the first place. But the RE seems hopeful so I am going to go with that and trust his judgement. I do agree that it would be a little easier to have a reason for the infertility. 

ScarletBegonia79

we are unexplained too and it is so frustrating. and i used to have the most regular cycles in the world. this last IUI we had 3 follies over 20mm and 74M sperm, and nothing. wtf. i know it's crazy because my HSG was clear but i can't help but think that my emergency c-section somehow messed me up. i got pregnant within the first 3 months the first time around and now it's been 2 years of trying. the only glimmer of fertility i had was a chemical pregnancy immediately following my HSG.

Steph1673

ScarletBegonia79 said:

we are unexplained too and it is so frustrating. and i used to have the most regular cycles in the world. this last IUI we had 3 follies over 20mm and 74M sperm, and nothing. wtf. i know it's crazy because my HSG was clear but i can't help but think that my emergency c-section somehow messed me up. i got pregnant within the first 3 months the first time around and now it's been 2 years of trying.

I could have written this myself. Pregnant the first month I used an OPK with DD and had an emergency C and I can't help but think it messed with something even though my HSG was normal (just one slightly inflamed tube for which I had antibiotics).

bkam

We're unexplained as we. For my first, we got pregnant the cycle after my hsg. This time, we 're not as lucky. Our insurance doesn't cover any treatments. So we've done clomid so far. This is my 5th cycle on clomid and the worst side effects. We met with thr RE last week and she said iui vs ivf was up to us. She gave us a 18-20% chance of success with a iui and 50% with ivf. Sincd we're paying for this, I think we are going to go with iui and hope that works

jennycam

I also have unexplained secondary infertility and have had 2 unsuccessful IUI's. I was actually just talking to my husband last night about how because of our high deductible we've spent $3K on these tests and IUI's for really "no reason" we know of. It's so frustrating, we are moving on to injectables this month and now that our deductible is met and we have pretty great coverage for fertility treatments we Aren't ruling out IVF.

spfclr

lazfam1120 said:

...if the RE tells me one more time that I'm super fertile healthy and great, I will kick her...

That's how I'm feeling right now.  My RE told us today that our testing looks wonderful and she's very hopeful that we'll just get PG and carry to term on our own so we should give it a few months before doing an IUI (with Clomid).  Although since TTC#2 I have gotten PG on my own twice and miscarried, it was twice within 2.5 years - I'm not feeling as fertile and hopeful as she seems to be.