A bit weirded out... Possibly unnecessary rant?

CanadianintheSouth

Not sure if I should feel weird/cranky about this but I do... DH called FIL to update on my progress. He told him I would be induced this weekend and that baby was measuring 7lb 9oz on Monday. FIL then went on to tell him that it's going to be really rough for me to have a baby close to 8lbs, especially since it's my first and went on about it.

I don't like the thought of my FIL and DH talking about what labor is going to be like for my vagina. First of all, we don't even know for sure her size because the growth scam could be off, and 8lbs isn't gigantic right? She is measuring in the 57th percentile, so how is that super huge? Ugh I just feel like I don't need my FIL telling me how hard this is going to be, I don't recall him ever giving birth.

He also brought up that he was hoping the baby would be born on the 20th instead, the day my MIL died 5 years ago. I find this weird, and don't really want my daughters birth to be associated with my MIL's death. Baby's middle name will be MIL's first name, but I don't feel like the birthday and the anniversary of her death also need to be the same. Luckily this will not be an issue because of the induction, but still why bring it up?

End rant. Sorry this was bothering me and had to vent!

tamarar5

I got really pissed off at the end of my last pregnancy when my mother was discussing the state and size of my cervix with my uncle. To make matters worse, an uncle who I really struggle to get along with. I was on bed rest last time, so I want allowed to drive, and she had taken me to my last appt— otherwise she never would have had information about my cervix. When I told her how creepy and uncomfortable it made me that she was sharing intimate details about my body, she was surprised. It genuinely hasn't occurred to her. She saw it as just discussing the baby's arrival. She apologized, though.

Since it makes you uncomfortable, maybe bring it up with your DH that you aren't really OK with your fil knowing the intimate details?

CanadianintheSouth

Oh yes I told DH exactly how I felt when he told me this! In DH's defense he wasn't telling FIL about my dilation, so I think FIL brought it up on his own. Thanks for reading my rant, nice to know I'm not the only one who is uncomfortable with it! DH and I talked and we will be turning our phones off once we get to the hospital, so that makes me feel better, we won't have to give updates!

happylady07

8lbs is not a huge baby. Ugh. What would a man know about it anyways!!!

SherryBaby2014

After my DD was born on 7-30 my mother posted on Facebook "On the third anniversary of my mothers death my first grandchild was born." When I read this it made me both sad and very happy.

Who knows what it really means but to her its a new positive association with the day rather than a day to be only be sad.

CanadianintheSouth

@SherryBaby2014‌ and @PunkieNight‌ thanks for sharing a different perspective! It helps me understand where he is coming from.

Totally agree @happylady07‌

alphaxi614

That FIL situation would weird me out too! My MIL kept asking me about my cervix and dilation because she knew about my husbands cousins cervix and she was due a week before me. That was weird enough but at least she's been through this all before herself!

H family all wanted an August baby because his dead grandma was born in August and they wanted another August birthday in the family. I was never comfortable with it, felt weird to me. Luckily he decided to be a July baby so it's a moot point too

winterkate

@potterowl‌ - sounds like our MILs are very similar- mine also asked if we could spell Charlie without the e because she thought it was a cuter spelling for a girl. Only time I didn't try to be nice about something she said- I looked at her point blank, serious face and just said "no". Pregnancy hormones are the best!

Valancyy

I find it weird that someone would want a child to be born on the anniversary of someone's death.  That strikes me as creepy!

My middle son was born on the morning of my grandmother's funeral.  I was hoping to make it one more day, but baby had other plans.  It was kind of nice because I had family in town who could stop by the hospital who normally wouldn't be around.

ungraceful13

I get it. Every week my FIL would ask about dilation and I'd give him some vague answer. As for an 8lb baby that is totally doable. My first was 8 lbs.