Long vent about midwives. What's your experience??

seamonkey0814

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I called the pager for my midwife group for the very first time last night. Between Sunday and Monday, I went from having a very active baby to a total couch potato. I mentioned in my Monday appointment that he was suddenly very quiet but was still meeting their requirements for movement so I wasn't too worried yet. By Tuesday night at 10:30 when there would normally be a party going on in my stomach, I started a kick count and only got 7 little flutters in an hour so I called the pager. I know that 7 little flutters isn't no movement, but it's a very drastic change from what I'm used to so I thought "better safe than sorry".

the midwife on call basically made me feel like I was asking for unnecessary medical treatment. She said she would offer a non-stress test at the hospital the next day but made it sound like it was for me and my reassurance, not because she actually wanted to check on baby. Through the whole conversation I felt like she was twisting my words to make me "request" tests and referrals to an OB/GYN. That was not my intention at all. I genuinely wanted to make sure that I wasn't ignoring a symptom that could signal something serious going on.

At the end of the call I said (in a very happy, non-worried voice) "ok, great. As long as none of this raises red flags that you think should be checked out right away, I'll see you for the NST at 10:30 tomorrow". Her response was "are you saying you want to be seen for this tonight?" What?? No that's not what I said! Stop making me sound crazy and demanding and TELL ME IN PLAIN ENGLISH WHAT IS BEST FOR MY BABY!

Has anyone else with a midwife felt that they are sometimes unwilling to answer your questions clearly and actually provide definitive advice? Do those of you with obstetricians ever experience the same thing or are your doctors more clear about their recommendations? I'm going to have to seriously consider my options for baby number 2. This pregnancy has been very easy and complication free but I worry that if I had had any real concerns I would not be able to get a straight answer from a midwife!

mkw1013

I dont think this has anything to do with midwives in general i think its just the one you talked too. Ive called our office before and basically got the same type of response from the OB on call.

PaulandPregnantChelsea

I think you just want to hear that she was being a jerk. And she was. You def weren't crazy for being concerned about your baby, you probs just caught her in a bad mood. Hope everything checks out okay!

LittleLady6

I agree with the others that one experience should not rule out a whole profession. Many people actually praise having a midwife instead of an OB because they are more compassionate and hands on.

As for your experience you may not like my answer, but I think you were overreacting. I understand with your first child you are very cautious about your pregnancy, but as YOU stated you felt movement. Your midwife was wrong to being dismissive and not giving you assurance by letting you know that reduced fetal movement is very common in late pregnancy as your baby engages into place. But from her perspective there were probably more pertinent matters that needed her assistance rather than a phone call about lesser movement. Sorry to be the bad guy but if I were another patient of hers in the hospital or in a worse state I'd hope the midwife would save the room or procedure for the more at risk person.

LittleLady6

You disagree on what exactly, lesser movement being common? Because I never said she shouldn't expect a positive experience or an answer. In fact I said her midwife was wrong for handling the situation the way she did. My response was directed to how the OP felt. I think she was overreacting to justify ruling out all midwives because of 1 experience. AND that there is always another side to the story. 

Meggs411

A friend of mine had a similar issue with her OB and she changed practices.  Which i realize is a little late for your to do at 38 weeks.  But I have not had any similar problems with midwives, using two different practices in two different states for this and my previous pregnancy.  It sounds like you spoke with the on-call midwife, not YOUR specific provider?  Or is it a practice where you see whoever is available that day?  Either way, I would express the concern the next time you are able to speak with someone in person.  Stating, clearly, you weren't trying to be a crazy pants, but you were concerned.  And you don't really appreciate that your concerns were being twisted or misrepresented.  There may be something they can do to make sure you are connected with a more sympathetic individual in the future, who can keep in mind that this is your first baby and you are just trying to do the right, safest thing.

bohemianlc

somerandomchick said:

It's not a problem with midwives it's a problem with YOUR midwife. It makes absolutely no sense to generalize this one single experience. Plenty of people have had problems with their provider (whether midwife, OB, family doctor). I'm sorry you feel like your medical provider is not taking you seriously.

I agree with this completely. 

The OBGYN office to which I have been going throughout my pregnancy has a large team of midwives and doctors. There are certain providers, both midwives and doctors, that I prefer seeing over others. Actually, I go out of my way to make appointments with one midwife in particular because I feel most comfortable with her and she seems to truly listen to my concerns better than any of the other providers at this office. 

I understand your frustration because I was unable to see her for my appointment yesterday and saw a doctor whom I had never seen before. When I asked her about a pain I had been having in my side and whether it was something to be concerned about, she just kept telling me I wasn't in labor, which wasn't even what I was asking. I actually left the appointment with no answers about that specific issue because no matter how I worded it, she kept giving me the same dumb response! It's incredibly frustrating to feel like your concerns aren't being addressed, but this can happen with a doctor or a midwife. 

JSS1002

No midwife experience, but my OB is incredibly direct, which is what I like about her.  Nobody has time to beat around the bush!  I think it is normal for movement to slow down near the end of pregnancy - there simply isn't as much room anymore for baby to move.  My OB's "kick count" requirement is 10 movements within 2 hours, twice a day.  So by that definition, I think you're okay. however, if it would make you feel better, I would do the NST and request whatever other monitoring you want.  THEY WORK FOR YOU.  Not the other way around.  You have the right to be your own advocate and ask for what you need.