NBR - when an ex friends you on FB

dglvrk2

One of the guys I dated in college (13 + years ago) "friended" me on FB a few days ago.  What do you think of being friends with ex's on FB?  

We were never serious.  Ending our relationship was a mutual decision.  However, we met up once  a year or so after college - went out for drinks with a bunch of friends - and it was awkward.  He seemed like he was trying really hard to impress me.   I was seeing the man who is now my husband and made it clear to him I was happily in a relationship. We haven't talked since.  Aside from the trying too hard piece (and being a little nerdy for me) he was a great guy - a professional, cool friends, super nice etc. 

His profile picture shows him with a little boy, who I assume is his son. Hence, he's likely married and over me completely. 

I've never really continued friendships with ex's, mostly because the friendships have ended naturally once we stopped seeing each other. 

This guy was really nice and I don't want to hurt his feelings.  OK?  Or ignore it? 

We have no close mutual friends and live on opposite coasts, so seeing him IRL is highly unlikely. 

MommyAtty

It just creeps me out, but I have no idea why. A high school boyfriend tried to friend me and I declined. It just felt really really weird to me. Maybe because I haven't really ever maintained friendships with exes, so I always wonder what the point is. I'm not planning on stirring up any romance.

minirella

I'd be okay with the person you described. I don't post on FB, just really use it for groups and to stalk people. I don't friend people, I let them friend me. I have a couple of ex's on there from long ago plus one guy that liked me but I never gave him the time of day. No issues. I did have that one creepy ex though that couldn't get over the break-up, called me names, told me he was going to commit suicide - he was an automatic block when he friended me.

aglenn

I would probably accept, just because it would be interesting to see what my ex is up to.  Like you, I live on the opposite coast, we are both married now, and our history is long in the past, so there is no danger of romance on either end.  The only reason I could think to not accept would be if you have concerns that he still has feelings for you and it would be weird/awkward. 

shannm

Depends on the ex. In your situation, I would accept.
I have a couple if exes as friends, but only the sane mature ones that I know won't create drama.

dglvrk2

OP here. Thanks for the advice. I accepted his friend request. I'm sure it will be fine.