Warning: Pity party going on here

emsmama15

I'm so frustrated.  I'm in my first cycle of Femara.  At my CD3 ultrasound, ovaries supposedly looked fine.  My right had 8 little follicles and the left had it's normal polycystic appearance (for whatever reason, only the left is polycystic in appearance - I'm weird).  At CD10, they noticed a cyst on the left and two bigger follicles (14 and 13mm) on the right.  The NP knows I'm leaving town tomorrow so she told me to to come back on Monday (CD12) and I'd probably trigger that night.  I was SO EXCITED!  I'm a CD20 ovulator so this was great (especially with the travel plans).  The NP called me on Sunday and said my RE wanted to take a look at the cyst the next day.  

So, my RE says it looks like a hemorrhagic corpus luteum cyst. My follicles on the right stalled out at 14.  I said there's no way I ovulated before CD10!  He thought it might be left over from the previous cycle and was missed on the CD3 scan.  He drew labs and called me later in the day - I haven't ovulated this cycle and this cycle is a bust since everything stalled out.  Now I have to do progesterone for 10 days to bring on a period and go in for a baseline again.  If it's still there, I have to go on the pill.  If it's gone, we'll up my Femara dose. 

I'm just so frustrated with my body.  I'm feeling so much pressure (completely self-induced) to get pregnant before my 40th birthday in December.  Ugh.  I guess I'm just disappointed.  Thanks for listening.

Davie813

Ugh, I'm sorry!  I hope the cyst is gone when you go back and you don't have to do the BCPs.  My first medicated cycle also went kind of awry--I guess it's impossible to predict how we're going to react to the meds when we've never taken them before.  Now that they have more info for you, I hope next cycle is the one!

I hear you about the pressure to get pregnant before your 40th birthday--it does just seem different afterwards.  I turned 40 in March, and was pretty bummed by that particular bfn.  DH and I took a spur-of-the-moment mini-vacation to soften the blow, and it helped a lot.  December is a long way off, so hopefully you'll have your BFP by then anyway, but planning something fun for your birthday (especially since it's a significant one) might be a good idea.

Good luck!

lcwed

I'm sorry this cycle is a bust. Hopefully the next one will work and you will have your pre 40 BFP!

emsmama15

Thanks @Davie813. I know my disappointment so early on is really because I set myself up with this "deadline" and because it was so "easy" last time (7 months, one round of clomid).  Rude awakening.  

And thank you for the 40th birthday insight.  I think I'm going to start planning something for my birthday.  Great idea. I need something different to focus on!

lgsdesigner

Oh man...that's really rough.

I am so sorry you are dealing with all this stress at the same time! It's very frustrating when you feel like you have absolutely zero control over your body, and am unsure what tomorrow has in store for you. 

I hope things work out for you soon, and you get your BFP. ((hugs))

emsmama15

Thanks @lgsdesigner.  I'm not so good at not being in control...

meredithcarole

Sorry for the rough time you are having

URMySunshine77

That's so awful to be out before you started. I'm sorry. 

crankstergangster

I'm so sorry!  I know it's only a month or two out of a lifetime, but I stress at the thought of even losing one month!  I hope things turn around for you soon.

C_Girlie

Sorry for the emotional roller coaster your on. Wishing you the best in the coming cycle

emsmama15

Thanks everyone. I keep telling myself it's just a month or two but it's still disappointing to have to give up mid-cycle. I'll survive... Just need a day or two to be sad.

gapilungo

I understand just how precious our time is. We all want "it" yesterday and of course we all hear the clock ticking in the background. I hope the 1-2 months go by very fast for youdso you can get back in the game!