phone call from funeral home-trigger warning?

sugarstar1784

So, The funeral home that is cremating for us just called me... will be ready tomorrow... how... 

i dont even have the words right now

how? what? ... do I do? i am... this is hard. and scary. I was not ready for this. 

LyndseyTS

Thinking of you...it was really hard for me when we went to pick up my daughter's ashes as well. The funeral was really good about everything, though, and that helped. I know am so glad that we have them here. I'll talk to her urn every once in awhile and I just like having a "piece" of her with me. You will get through, even on the days when it seems like there's no way. Be kind to yourself.

Mel&John2013

I'm so sorry. Do you have a special place planned where you're going to place the urn?

Mel&John2013

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I'm so sorry, my signature just finally showed up and I didn't place a warning!

sugarstar1784

We bought a shelf where we were going to place everything, but I think my SO isn't ready to deal with the grief yet, and hasn't hung the shelf.

Mel&John2013

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 I can understand not being ready to deal with things, that's for sure. But maybe it would help to get things ready for his remains and have a spot prepared? Just to give you something else to focus on? Honestly though, I know it's hard to find anything that truly "helps".

I'm sorry you even have to do this!

Manada

I am sorry for your loss and this struggle. Picking up our babies at the funeral home after cremation was hard for us, specifically the wait was the worst. That said, once we had them in their box with us, we felt some comfort by having something to hold onto... You may find that too, we were both surprised by how significant it felt to have their remains with us, and it still does.

Hugs to you both

lexusolsen

I remember it being such a hard day. I almost didn't want to take our van because I didn't want to bring him home in a box in our family car. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

stefuge

This was so hard for us too. MH told me he would handle it, he didn't want me to have to deal with it, and then it took him weeks to actually go pick him up. It was just so hard. ((Hugs))

msunshine123

I will be thinking of you - hugs. This was hard for us too. MH and I went together - we were happy to have our son back with us afterwards.

kz's_girlygirl

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Going to the funeral home was definitely very difficult and, not going to lie, a bit awkward as well.

We were seated in a room and the worker brough his urn out and asked us if we were ready to see it.

There's no real answer to that, but we said yes and she took it out of the box. (We had purchased a small urn and had it shipped directly to the funeral home where they transferred the cremains into it.).

We sat there for a few minutes in silence because we weren't sure what we were supposed to do or say, and then I just stood up and said, 'we'll lets get going,' and we left.

Taking our son home in a tiny blue urn was surreal, but we were glad to have that hurdle behind us.

We bought a bookshelf and set it up the day we picked up our sons cremains. We places his urn, the memory box from the hospital, his blanket, and some candles on it.

Having a special place for it helped me feel a little bit more grounded.

We have moved and changed things a bit- we have added some wedding photos, a photo book I made using Shutterfly, and some figurines and special stones, and instead of a shelf things are on an antique dresser that was my great grandmothers right outside our bedroom.

I hope the day goes smoothly for you- you will be in my thoughts

Maybe Joleisa

Like most other steps involved in my loss and grieving process, the 'thought' of doing all the funeral home stuff was worse than the actual experience. I cried a few times, but they are used to that, right? I actually couldn't wait to go pick them up--like others, I felt better once I had their urn with us.

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Hugs to you

shandorfml2

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Just want to offer big (((hugs)))

TeamWinForever

((Hugs)) It's a hard thing to do but I echo what everyone else has said about feeling much better once my baby girls remains were home with me. We actually had our service at the funeral home and from there went directly to a luncheon that was planned by our families. Our cars ended up being so full of flowers that I was afraid to take her that day. I was afraid that something would happen to the urn. The funeral home basically said that we could come get them whenever we wanted. We went up early the next morning because it was all I could think about. When we got there, they had left her in the same place she was yesterday. For some reason that fact stands out to me; they didn't put her away somewhere, she wasn't waiting in an office or something for us. Now, she is on our mantel along with some flameless candles and figurines. I hope this day goes smoothly for you and you can find some peace at having your sweet baby home with you.

sugarstar1784

Thank you all. He's home now. I feel like the circle is complete, and I can begin healing.

OSUWifey09

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I remember getting that same phone call - I was at the mall with my family. I hyperventilated and bawled my eyes out; we had to leave so people didn't think I was going to pass out or something (I almost did). We had left a box for his ashes to go into, so he was placed in there. I will never forget the moment I picked up that box, either - I was so sad but also so relieved he was coming home. I'm glad you feel like the circle is complete. *hugs*