Help with something...

MJC1116

OK I promise this will be my last post for the day. I apologize for hijacking the board today.

I have a very, very sweet friend who incidentally I also work with. She has been uber-generous with her gifts to my entire family when J was born, even throwing me a beautiful sip and see at a very expensive hotel. She went all out and I know it cost her a lost of money and time.

Long story short, she just celebrated a milestone birthday and I feel indebted to her. I feel like I should buy her a very nice gift with a big price tag to reciprocate but we are on a super tight budget. Basically every extra $90 saved is another day of childcare for J. We're desperately trying to cut costs.

The thing is she's not rolling in the dough either and that's why I feel badly.

Two questions: do you think I should find a way to buy her something nice? And, do you have any suggestions of what to get her? I was thinking maybe a personalized necklace from Etsy plus taking her out for sushi...

mcgeeva

Ducky719 said:

Super hard. I have a gf who used to do this (tho we've just recently cut presents to each other bc of growing families). It's hard feeling like you have to match what you are given. And i am a cheap person by nature which makes out harder. I say take her to dinner and talk about it. Something like, I'm sorry, money is tight, i wish i could have done more. And then after her bday talk about cutting gifts so you guys can spend more on the kids or something. Or agree to do a combined outing for your bdays. That is our newest thing do.

I agree with that. It's tough because you do want to get people back but at some point it gets to be too much. If you want do sushi and a bottle of wine. If she knows you and your money situation she will understand. I feel this way with one of my friends. I will never be able to match what she buys my boys. She makes twice what I do and has no kids. Two I try not to get into the gifts because it gets to be so much with kids etc.