HELP! One twin sleeps and the other does NOT!

Kaly16

Hi! I have 9 week old b/g twins who were born at 35.2. DD is more laid back at this point and DS is fussy. We have our night time routine that we started 2 weeks ago ( for my sanity!!) , we have tried them in one crib and in separate- separate works best for us. DD can be put in her crib drowsily and fall asleep herself. DS CANNOT get himself to sleep unless her is on DH or me. He is too young to sleep train or CIO and he reacts the same way in a rock n play...he just screams until one of us picks him up. I am kind of losing my mind. Any suggestions? Thanks! Edited for ridiculous capitalization.

vargasgurl

I only have one at the moment but CIO shouldn't happen until they can self soothe which happens at about 6months. Until then You should be soothing /comforting your little one. Just make sure he's not wet / hungry or gassy. Hopefully it's not colic ? Good luck and just breath!

carrotcake06

Have you read at all about the 4th trimester? It's normal for itty-bitties to want to be held and rocked and cuddled. When they're that little, you meet their need in whatever way works for them.

I'm not saying it doesn't suck sometimes. It does. The exhaustion is brutal. It's not easy. But it is normal and it isn't forever. Next week they may switch it up on you. Or a month from now.

MH and I would tag team - one would wake, H would get them both up and changed, hand off to me to nurse, I'd nurse and he'd sleep, I'd wake him up and he'd help me put them back to sleep. If one needs to rocked, H would do it do I could sleep until the next feeding. That's really all you can do in the beginning.

zazu13

Swaddle, white noise, blackout curtains, minimal stimulus/noise, nurse/feed to sleep, rock, swing. Do whatchagottado. Hang in there. It does get better.

Brummy14

sing4mysavior said:

Honestly? At 4 weeks adjusted? You just hold him. Rock him, sing, whatever. Some babies are easy, some are tough. If he needs one of you to help him sleep right now, then take turns, call grandma to help one night...but enjoy the extra snuggles. He WILL sleep on his own one day. Promise.

This, exactly. Trial & error at this age. We had one with pretty nasty reflux and she spent a month (or so it seemed) in the bouncy seat at night since it was the thing with the best incline for her. Even then, she spent a lot of nights on me, DH, or grandma (between the three of us we rotated shifts to get chunks of sleep -- and Grandma went home to sleep during the day ). She was on o2 and wore a monitor that beeped anytime her sats dipped below a certain level -- which happened a bunch -- so suffice it to say whoever was "on" duty didn't get a ton of sleep. It's rough, I know. 

Now, they're excellent sleepers. For now. But, back then...it was all about getting a couple of hours here and there...

dmurrie

With DD1, we had a while where she wanted to be in contact with us. We could put her down slightly on her side and rub her back to help her fall asleep, (once she was asleep we would roll her to sleep completely on her back) which transitioned eventually into being able to sleep on her own. I'm not sure what your LO would think about that, but it might be something to try.

Wishing35

Mine weren't capable of going to sleep on their own either at that early stage which is completely normal. Until then we did whatever it took to get them to sleep which often involved a lot of rocking, singing etc and multiple times of going in to soothe before they finally drifted off for the "night". It's hard if your doing it yourself at this point, if one is sleeping though I'd take the other and rock or bounce them to sleep, & wait until you think they are fully out before you down in the crib. If I remember right it was about 5 months when they could go down drowsy and soothe themselves to sleep.

PinkinProvence

At that little, especially being preemies, my kids never fell asleep unless we were holding them.  Then we had the whole ridiculousness of trying to get them down without waking them up just to start the whole process over. 

We really just started around 8 months putting down drowsy and soothing themselves.  We just followed their leads.  Now I am sad because they don't want me to hold them to fall asleep anymore!

PinkinProvence

Also, at around 4 months, we started using the swings.  That was the only way they would take any naps or fall asleep for the night.  Before that, we just held them.  

Lyndsey13

I had one easy one and one tough one too. For a LONG time, they napped on me. They also slept on me at night or in the swings/bouncie seats. Once they hit 4 months, it got worse. At that point they started sleeping in their swings at all times. They slept in their swings until they were 11 months. We moved to cribs at that point and they turned into wonderful sleepers! Now at 2, they sleep excellent. I haven't rocked them to sleep for almost a year!

We went through so many phases. We had a phase were one of them just wanted to sleep in our bed. We went through a phase where they napped in the car. It changed regularly and we went with it. It only lasted the first year, they've been phenomenal sleepers since.

chismosa2007

Is he hungry? Has he had a full feeding before going to bed? I don't know that you can say he's too young to sleep train -- we started sleep training our (now 2 year old) DD from day one. Our focus was always on making sure she had a full feeding first. Granted she was a singleton and our twins aren't due for another month so I can't speak to the eating habits of twins yet, but maybe one baby needs to eat more than the other one?