sexy time clicky poll

steprozz

DH can't understand why my sex drive hasn't returned yet. between a toddler and a newborn my desire to DTD is zero. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever want to have sex again.

so whether you are actually doing it or not, how bad do you want to?

Rei2metse

My OB said during my PP appt to expect a decrease in sex drive during this time. He noted that biologically speaking, my main focus is caring for my young one. Once LO is a little older and stops nursing, my estrogen levels will rise along with my sex drive and consequently my fertility. From this standpoint, it could take months before I'm "back to normal." I'm still DTD bc I crave intimacy with my mate, but my horndog days are gone (at least for now). I was so glad DH went to this appt so he could understand why I'm not behaving like a newlywed anymore.

rainbowdashh

The last time I really wanted sex, I got pregnant. My drive disappeared with W and I don't expect it to return until she weans. My drive after S didn't come back until just after her first birthday. Sorry H!

tbmadeamistake

My libido is all but non existent while pregnant, and after so long not DTD, I find it very hard to get back on that horse, so to speak. DH seems to understand but I feel bad.

steprozz

I understand a guy has needs and all but I can't even fake it for his sake right now and I feel pretty bad about it. I'm slacking on the wife duties.

galv0515

I wanted it like crazy after dd was born. We DTD 4 weeks pp and I was insatiable for about a week, now my drive is back to normal--wanting it but not overdoing it.

curlylocks3

astalyons said:

I have the desire but not the energy. I honestly would rather sleep. I pretended to be asleep tonight so I didn't have to dtd. Sorry hubby!

This is us....but he feels the same way. Every night one of us is like "I'd love to but......" And then falls asleep midsentance.

ricecakes1216

There are moments when I feel like maybe I'd be willing to have sex. That lasts for a minute then it's gone. I'm really uncomfortable with my new body (a 10lb kid sure changes things) so I don't want H to see me. The poor guy, I can't remember the last time we has sex.

PressLove

Babywear said:

Hubby is sick of the phrase 'ok, but a quickly only, no fun stuff'

We had a tiff about this statement last night. He believes we've waited too long to not have fun.

owlcup

Babywear said:

Hubby is sick of the phrase 'ok, but a quickly only, no fun stuff'

This is where we are at. I want to becauae he wants to but I don't want it to last more than ten minutes. Tops.

I'm shooting for twice a week but it's more like once. Three kids is tiring, yo.

LaurelJoy91

galv0515 said:

I wanted it like crazy after dd was born. We DTD 4 weeks pp and I was insatiable for about a week, now my drive is back to normal--wanting it but not overdoing it.

This. I wore DH out after wanting it every day of the week. He actually had to be the one to tell me no for once. Prepregnancy I actually had a very low libido, so even though I don't want it nearly as bad now as I did in the 3-4 weeks postpartum, I still feel like my sex drive is higher than it used to be. No complaints! I used to feel so bad refusing DH sex because my brain wanted it, just my body didn't.

sarahlynnc317

I want it all the time however getting DH to comply is another story. We are on opposite schedules me days him graveyard

flerlgirl

saltylovely said:

The last time I really wanted sex, I got pregnant. My drive disappeared with W and I don't expect it to return until she weans. My drive after S didn't come back until just after her first birthday. Sorry H!

---quote box---

This. It only takes once, kids.

mysavinggrace

Wanting it bad lol but so hard to find time. We tried the other night and when things was getting good (wink wink) dd woke up and started crying. I think dh cried too lol. Maybe once her growth spurt is over she will nap again and we can get things started again. I hope!

puttyeast

Because of my 3rd degree tear, I am so fearful of sex. I'm 7 weeks PP and we still haven't done it. I know I need to just try and take it easy, but seriously, I'm scared.

jacksoha

My sex drive was higher than DH's before I got pregnant and even while I was pregnant. But I have no desire for it now. I really don't even want him to touch me. We've had sex a few times but usually it is because I know that it is an important part of marriage and because DH wants it.

allrightmeow

We both want ALL the sex but this kid has magic powers or something cause every time DH touches me, or I him, DD starts waking up.  We get him back to sleep one of us is also sleeping.  

MollySm

My sex drive completely disappeared when my first was born, and only returned when we started TTC again.    This time it never left, so I'm feeling good about that.  I'm tired, so it's not like I want to have sex all the time, but still it's nice to want to sometimes.  

JujuB22

No desire what so ever, and dh for some reason thinks we can skip all foreplay. Nope.

jenlynne0624

Does it ever NOT hurt? We've DTD twice since I got cleared on Thursday and it hurts like a mofo at most positions, a pulling sort of sensation. DH said my wincing in pain isn't too attractive, but I can't friggin help it. 

tbmadeamistake

Nah, mine feels different, too. I also swear it's in a different spot. Like, I've had to adjust my go to get-off position because it no longer hits just the right spot. I think its normal, though I don't remember it changing this much after C.

FAWKES81

Yes, mine is different as well.  Like PP said the "go to" spot/position isn't where it was.  Unbelievably frustrating as "the spot" is proving to be elusive.  I didn't see this original thread b/c I wasn't active on TB for a while but now that the PP period is over DH wants all the sex and I still want none.  He's getting whiny about it and it is just that much more of a turnoff.  I want the intimacy of sex but I don't want the actual sex.  Maybe my hormones are still whacky.

mrscbrad

We both have tons of drive now but I suspect it's bc we've been arguing and sex is a great patch for it until we figure out a better solution.

SarahS11

@mullenem I could have said that word for word.  I'm just fine without sex... DH, not so much.  I still feel a little sensitive where I tore... So, it's still not much fun for me.  Hopefully soon...

jclester614

Maybe I should put this on the FFFC thread, but... I have not DTD since LO was born. (He's a few days shy of 3 months, so we're a bit behind most people on this BMB.) I had not that much of a drive before getting pregnant (sorry DH!) and even though I was cleared at 6 weeks PP, DH hasn't even asked for it... We do other things just for him, but despite me not needing sex I have to admit I'm a little offended!! Then again, we seem to be at odds a lot, and stressed, so I extra don't feel like DTD. Although maybe it would help us feel closer. : /

FAWKES81

I met DH at home for lunch today.  We DTD w/o a kid around so that was nice but we were rushed b/c of time.  It was OK for me...defiantly better for him.  Maybe now he will quit whining about how we never have sex (for at least a week?)

babygabe614

FAWKES81 said:

 I want the intimacy of sex but I don't want the actual sex.  

^ This.

jclester614

babygabe614 said:

FAWKES81 said:

 I want the intimacy of sex but I don't want the actual sex.  

^ This.

+1!!

@mullenem Mmmm, Thai food! And, we totally have different love languages...we sound like you guys, exactly. (Ugh, the PP bod...so rough. Still is!) I like your idea to meet up for lunch, just to have some sort of "date" weekly to refocus on us.