Had a scare today :(

theseaword

So I'll preface this with DS is fine. We had a great day today. Took the kids to one of our favorite spots (about 1.5 hrs from home), went on a train ride, had ice cream, etc. Wonderful day. We decided to have a late lunch before hitting the road. Kids were tired, but DS1 was also hungry and we were near one of our favorite restaurants. So normally when we go out to eat, one of us brings in DS2 in his car seat, but since DS2 has now started eating, we just carried him in in our arms and he sat at the table in a high chair. We had a great meal, but towards the end both kids were really feeling the exhaustion and were starting to get fussy. The check was taking a long time to come, plus we were still waiting for a to go order, so we thought it best to take the kids out to the car so they could start to nap in their car seats. So I volunteered to take them. I carried DS2 in my arms and held DS1's hand. I take two of them to the car all the time obviously, but normally DS2 is either in his car seat or I wear him. Since he was just in my arms, I didn't think I'd be able to get DS1 in his seat so I decided my plan would be to put DS2 in his seat (just plop him down quickly), then take DS1 over and strap him in his seat, then go back and buckle DS2. So we get to the car. I open the door and I have DS1 directly next to me on my right. I told DS "stand here with mommy!" and turn away just long enough for me to put DS2 in the seat. It was literally less than 3 seconds. I turned to grab his hand again, and he was gone. He was gone. I can't even describe to you my panic. I didn't even see him right away. He had run away four or five cars down and was in between two cars. I yelled at him "never run from mommy!" And he just started bawling because I NEVER yell at him so he must have been really freaked. I felt badly, so I told him mommy loves him very much and I was afraid he would get lost like Nemo. I feel so guilty. If something had happened, I honestly don't think I could have lived with myself. I just keep thinking of how easily someone could have backed up over him, and what an idiot I was for trusting a tired 2 year old wouldn't dash off. It all happened so quickly. Sorry for the long post for what is essentially "I was an idiot today and could have lost my fucking kid". I've already planned five other ways I will do better in this situation in the future. Feeling really anxious over all the what ifs.

theseaword

Sorry for the wall of text! I swear I had paragraphs.

angelashly

((Hugs)) sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad everything worked out ok

LBib

Hugs. So been there because my kids are about the same age. Our strategy has been to work with DS1 to either climb into his own seat or put his hand on the taillight when we're dealing with getting stuff in and out of the car. It's a work in progress but it's the stategy we're using for now. Glad everyone is OK.

MrsT0514

Oh how scary! But I probably would've reacted the same. Glad everyone is ok.

LBib

Burp

flyingsaucer

Ugh, so scary. Glad he is ok!

RondackHiker

I'm sorry this happened. I don't think it was dumb to trust him. It happened and no one is hurt and it's over.

I've had DS "supervise" while I put DD in the car. Or "hold the door open so it doesn't close on me." He's impulsive and giving him a job occupies him so he doesn't bolt.

stra0111

I'm sorry you had such a crappy scare. I would have done the same thing. Actually I did. Just last week 3 yr old DD1 was right beside me as I unloaded DD2 (As usual), and one minute she was there and the next minute not. So here I am screaming her name like a maniac and she comes out from behind our vehicle like "What?!". I know the panic. Toddlers are so unpredictable. Don't beat yourself up, I am sure all mothers have had a moment like this at some point or 

msdrdg

HUGS!

Glad everyone is ok.

theseaword

Thanks for the kind words everyone. Resisting the urge to go wake him up and smother him with kisses!

BluepointToasted

They are so quick! I literally had to pin my kid against the tire with my leg the other day because my hands were full and I needed to open the door. "Stand still" apparently has no meaning at all. Glad everything is ok!

shadypines

Glad everyone is ok. Terrifying!

marchbaby

So scary when they run off!  Not sure how old your oldest is but when my kids were little I would open the car on my youngest sons side of the car and have my oldest crawl into the car from that side and across to his car seat.  Then I could put my youngest into his seat and walk around and fasten my oldest into his seat.  That way only one door was open and I was in front of it.  This might not work for all kids but at the very least you could lock the doors so he can't exit out the other side. 

Whenigrowup

I'm sorry that happened.  So scary!  Glad he's okay!

lifesaverz

Oh gosh I'm so sorry. I can only imagine the panic! Try to rest in the fact that everyone is okay - I think we all have scary moments sometimes!

bensmommy518

I am glad everyone is okay and I have been there myself so I understand the panic that you felt and probably still feel every time you think about it.  You have a plan so that's a good thing.  I am such a helicopter mom whenever we are around cars - I just cant help it. 

Things I have done are have DS (older) climb in to the car and shut his door while I put DD in her seat.  Then I come  back around and strap DS in.  Or I have DS stand between me and the car while I lean over him to put DD in and essentially block his way with my legs (this is not his favorite by the way).  Or I will tell him I need him to give my leg the biggest hug he can while I am strapping DD in - This way I can feel him at all times and its a bit of a game for him. 

acesup

Deep breaths. that is scary and I have been there!!! So glad to hear he is ok. Don't blame yourself!

DD is 3.5 and listen pretty good now but I still make her hold into my leg while I strap in DS so I can feel if she decides to take off. I used to plop DS and then put her in and go back to strap DS- until he almost fell out of the seat trying to reach across the car for DD. As I was putting DD in I reached over her and caught him between the two car seats.

TL;DR- don't blame yourself! Parenting is hard! So glad he is ok