Afraid and ashamed

JRod13

Do they include baby juice and the like, or are these grown up words?

Bklm94

Anonymous1220 said:

The one night stand did ejaculate from oral and washed up before putting a condom on for intercourse and then didn't finish.  So knowing ejaculation happened some time that night haunts me. I have been analyzing the situation over and over again but nothing is ever 100%, unfortunately.  And  Just praying I did get pregnant 3 days later by my FI unprotected and karma just is playing huge mind games with me. If I got pregnant by my FI my EDD would be December 22nd.  Two single days off from my ultrasound  

Maybe but I almost want to say I doubt it. Although I'm not a doctor. I say good luck but If I had to guess it would be your FI's baby.

ColeyCannoli

Lol, I find "baby juice" grosser than sperm but that's just me. I always feel grossed out by substitute cutesy names for things though. Like, "vagina" is a the real clinical term I use in class and at work. While "hoohaa" or "vajaja" is what your mom says too loudly while sharing some TMI story in public. Ick. :P

JRod13

ColeyCannoli said:

Lol, I find "baby juice" grosser than sperm but that's just me. I always feel grossed out by substitute cutesy names for things though. Like, "vagina" is a the real clinical term I use in class and at work. While "hoohaa" or "vajaja" is what your mom says too loudly while sharing some TMI story in public. Ick. :P

Hahahaha- my mom calls her's a "vajazzle" like it sparkles or has some ornamentation or something. 

kelsz12

I can assure you the baby is likely not from the affair because sperm can live inside of you for 4-5 days and it takes that long for the sperm to meet with your egg. I have the same due date as you (I was using an app to track our intercourse/my cycles) and we did NOT have sex on March 29th but that was my date of conception. We had sex several times earlier that week (sorry, TMI) but the 29th was when my egg was actually fertilized. Hopefully that can ease your stress a little about that half of the situation. 

JRod13

The number of people with advanced medical and fertility knowledge that can all but guarantee OP that the baby is not the one night stand's is really astonishing. You know guys, people pay good money for that kind of expertise....like really really good money. I feel like you're selling yourselves short offering it up for free on TB. 

aksue22

Whatever happened to the classics...like jiz?

BayCamp

I've never been squeamish with medical terms since I work in the medical field, but I find I throw around the "icky" words a lot more in every day conversation than I used to. The words cervix, vagina, nipple, and uterus come out a lot more. Sometimes I get a horrified expression from any males within eat shot.

Cryssteen

chayshay1408 said:

Ainslie325 said:

Bklm94 said:

@chayshay1408 ‌ I just prefer to call it baby juice. I didn't mean there were two. I think it sounds less gross. But I agree with you.

Does "baby juice" only come into play while "baby dancing," whereas sperm is the fluid of choice for sexual intercourse?  I can't imagine an adult woman thinking there term "baby juice" is less gross than "sperm" (or that the word sperm is gross at all, for that matter). To each her own, I suppose.  

*sigh* I remember when the term sperm grossed me out. I believe it was before I was sexually active. Guess I don't understand the reasoning behind why it would 'gross' out an adult pregnant woman. 

That's cause you're drunk. 

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irish2014

BayCamp said:

I've never been squeamish with medical terms since I work in the medical field, but I find I throw around the "icky" words a lot more in every day conversation than I used to. The words cervix, vagina, nipple, and uterus come out a lot more. Sometimes I get a horrified expression from any males within eat shot.

When I used to work retail selling underwear, there were bunches of girls who couldn't say "nipple" - was extra funny when we released a line with a marketing spin that included "nipple coverage" and they had to say it to customers. SO awkward when your manager has to coach you to say nipple. Also the girls who couldn't say "panties" - never understood that one.

beachy6

Baby juice? This posting just got even weirder. I'm going to request that my fertility clinic now uses the term "baby juice" when asking DH to leave a sample. Because that's not weird.

Let's go back to sex ed ladies. Condoms and other forms of bcp aren't 100%. I feel like between trying to convince the OP of things you don't know and the baby juice we're in a middle school classroom.

I still have a week off of work! For the love of all that is holy, don't make me mentally go back early!! (Clearly, I teach middle school. In sex ed, kids actually learn the right terms and use them. It's time that we can all join them and do the same. It doesn't hurt. I promise! Not referring to jiz and cum...those are classics!)

aksue22

@Babar78‌ I've heard splooge, but not spooge. There's also spunk (thanks, SATC).

Bklm94

Maybe I should just start putting technical terms for everything and leave my nicknames out. Even though I did put both down. Oh well. I'll just go back to hiding in the dark and not posting (;

beachy6

Mansoline?! Ha! Never heard that one!

ColeyCannoli

Bklm94 said:

Maybe I should just start putting technical terms for everything and leave my nicknames out. Even though I did put both down. Oh well. I'll just go back to hiding in the dark and not posting (;

Aw, don't do that. You made this fun! We are just being D14 meanies Nothing personal.

ColeyCannoli

If it makes you feel better Bklm94, I was shopping with a friend and said I needed new "boob covers" cause for some reason I hate the word "bra." She got really awkward about it.

JRod13

Bklm94 said:

Maybe I should just start putting technical terms for everything and leave my nicknames out. Even though I did put both down. Oh well. I'll just go back to hiding in the dark and not posting (;

aww we're just playing 

bowlwoman

When I was in my Human Sexuality class in college, we did an exercise where we came up with every ephemism for male and female genitalia we could think of. My favorite for the guys was Purple-Headed Yogurt Shooter.

The point of the exercise was the that euphemisms for male genitalia are generally funny or bragging-rights worthy, but by and large the euphemisms or slang for female genitalia are a lot of times degrading or are used as terms to degrade women. It was a very powerful exercise, which is why I'm very careful about using those terms to describe women (e.g., I hate the word "cunt").

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BayCamp

Anyone else picturing James Van Der Beek in Varsity Blues naming off all the slang terms he knew for penis during sex ed?

bowlwoman

Ok, so why vagina and not vulva? Vagina is just the tube. Vulva is the whole region.

ColeyCannoli

More accurate names for everything

BayCamp

@ColeyCannoli‌ I you, I just laughed until I snorted.

aksue22

@Anna930‌ I would just say he's "making a deposit". Or I would sing jiz in a cup, to the tune of "D*ck in a Box".

bowlwoman

While looking for another "alternate names for stuff" photo I had on Facebook, I ran across this gem. Too hilarious not to share.

https://mentalfloss.com/article/57484/george-takei-reviews-20-totally-random-products-amazon

My favorite:

Now everyone can fart rainbows!

Oh, and here's the picture I was originally looking for:

Anonymous1220

lol this thread did a total 180. Thank you for the laughs.  Will be in touch after delivery I guess with results  :-S

aksue22

@Anonymous1220‌ If you plan on doing amnio or CVS and haven't already done so, you can do a paternity test at the same time.

CandEChicago

Anonymous1220 said:

lol this thread did a total 180. Thank you for the laughs.  Will be in touch after delivery I guess with results  :-S

@Anonymous1220 - hopefully you feel comfortable enough to stick around.

Shawlls

Be honest with him. Entering into marriage is a serious commitment and one you do without secrets.  

The chances are the baby is his from a pure science standpoint, but that is besides the point. Even if you were not pregnant, you should still be honest about the affair.

irish2014

@ColeyCannoli‌ I was just cry-laughing. At the bus stop. So many weird looks but so worth it...

MaineMama

Ainslie325 said:

stormygrace said:

Lol I love the poor ladies that come in and post without reading at least the last couple posts. Hon she already told him. Btw to the OP I really hope things work out between you two. No child deserves to grow up with one parent. Or going between two homes.

Some children grow up very happily "with one parent or going between two homes." In many instances, it's far healthier than a two parent home filled with resentment and tension. I hope the best for soap, too, but I'm not about to declare what that is. As a child of divorced parents, this comment really rubbed me wrong though I'm sure it wasn't intended. I never felt like I was denied a childhood that I deserved.

Yeah,
I'm pretty sure my oldest child prefers to go between two happy homes, rather than the alternative of being stuck in a miserable, abusive home.

JaymeeLH

BayCamp said:

I've never been squeamish with medical terms since I work in the medical field, but I find I throw around the "icky" words a lot more in every day conversation than I used to. The words cervix, vagina, nipple, and uterus come out a lot more. Sometimes I get a horrified expression from any males within eat shot.

I do it on purpose to gross out H's friends. Occasionally they ask questions and set themselves up though. Let's just say mucous plugs came up in one of our conversations and he told his fiancé she was never allowed to get pregnant

JRod13

stormygrace said:

Lol I love the poor ladies that come in and post without reading at least the last couple posts. Hon she already told him. Btw to the OP I really hope things work out between you two. No child deserves to grow up with one parent. Or going between two homes.

Yea....that was rough yo.

mightymango

nolanova85 said:

I have what will undoubtedly be an unpopular opinion, and knowing that I may get flamed, here goes...

First, I 100% agree with PPs that the stress you're experiencing is likely not good for your pregnancy.  If you are making the decision on that alone, then I suggest you tell your fiance.

That said, if it were me, I would wait till the birth and do a DNA test and get the results before telling my fiance.  My only reasoning is this: if the roles were reversed, and my DH had cheated on me - a one time thing he felt awful about, as you do - before we were married and was debating telling me, I hope that he wouldn't.  I would undoubtedly be hurt and devastated and would struggle to rebuild trust.  Would I really choose that life over the possibility of living a happy life together?  Sometimes ignorance truly is bliss, and in my humble opinion - that's not always a bad thing.

I certainly appreciate other posters saying a marriage should not be built on lies and secrets, and on paper, I can't disagree with them.  But you are already in emotional hell working through your mistake.  Is it really worth putting your fiance through that same hell?

Other posters have recommended counseling after  you tell your fiance.  My only additional recommendation is that perhaps you should see a counselor or therapist on your own now, before you make the final decision to say anything.  A therapist may be able to help you see all angles better than internet strangers can.  And if you decide to come clean, a therapist may be able to give you the communication toolkit you'll need for that conversation.

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

Step 1. Therapy, counselor, anything professional
Step 2. Push back the wedding if you have set the date already
Step 3. Have the baby, DNA Test.
If the baby is his, never tell him. If the baby is not his, which doesnt sound likely, consult the therapist as to how to tell him.

Dont tell him if its not necessary and destroy his happiness.

Also, get an STD test.

Thirdly, you should consult a therapist to examine if you are ready to have a marriage if a fight results in sleeping with another man. You may not be ready to be married just yet.

MaineMama

@MightyMango -  you're late to the party, she told.

leoandethansmom

@ColeyCannoli‌ Thanks for the laugh. Horse tornado lol

mightymango

@mainemama

Balls.

Also, now that I've read through some more...and there's no urgency...this sounds like it was a planned thing. How sad.

Anonymous1220

@mightymango What was a planned thing?