20m sleep regression?

spinsoffresonance

Up until 3 weeks ago DD1 was a great sleeper. We'd do her nap or bedtime routine (bath, diaper, pj, white noise, snuggle, read a book, sing a song) set her in the crib awake and she'd go to sleep on her own. 2-3 hours for her nap and 12 hours at night. But the last 3weeks have been a nightmare. First she started fighting naps. She would just scream and scream and scream and didn't want to be left alone in her room. After 3 days, she started fighting bedtime. She starts screaming as soon as I walk away from her crib. That also motivated her to figure out how to climb out of the crib, so we now have her in a toddler bed.the only way I can get her to sleep now is to sit next to her bed until she is asleep. It takes about an hour. For the last week she has also started waking up in the middle of the night. She screams like I never heard her scream before, sounds like she's in pain or she's terrified. So now I have to sit with her 2-3 hours at night trying to get her back down. I can't go on like this much longer with a 2month old baby who's nursing 3-5 times at night. So any idea what's going on with my 20month old? Is it a phase that will pass on its own or do I need to fix it somehow?

pb_bride

Oh dear!  That sounds emotionally and physically exhausting!  Could your DD1 have an ear infection?  It seems so out of the blue she's doing this.  DS does this occasionally when he's teething but perhaps a few times within a week and then back to normal sleep pattern.  Have you tried giving her some advil or motrin before nap/bedtime to see if that helps (in case she's teething)?  

Caseyk1127

DS did this at around 19 mo, and DD just did it at 21 mo. With both it lasted about 2 weeks ... Very long weeks! With both I had ears checked and they were fine. The pedi recommended Advil before bed in case it's teething. I really think it's just a phase and we let her cry a bit and she got right back to normal. I do feel your pain when DS went through this I was already up all night feeding a then 5 mo old DD who preferred all meals in the middle of the night and barely ate during the day because she was too interested in what everyone else was doing, lol.

momofmanyinthemitten

DD1 went through this around the same time. We ended up dropping her nap because of it. I was 8 mos pregnant, and not willing to sit on the floor with her for an hour each day. She did quiet time instead.

spinsoffresonance

Thanks. I think I will get her ears checked just to be safe, but I think it's more likely separation anxiety than pain.
@kielpinskim‌ how did you get her to do quiet time at that age? Mine freaks out if I try to leave her in her room alone.

craftylady29

Yes we're going through that too! It sucks! My LO fights her nap every day and screams for a long time. She used to nap 2-3 hours and sleep 11 at night. I hope this is a phase!!!

greenwl

I could have written this!  We have been going through the same thing for abour 2.5 weeks now.  My DD has always been a great sleeper for naps and bedtime.  Now she is fighting naps and bedtime and has been waking up everynight.  My DD is also 20 months old.  I am praying that this is a phase.

landrews

we experienced the 18-month sleep regression... maybe your LO is going thru this late?  it was only nap refusal for us, it lasted exactly 1 month, ending just as suddenly as it started.  i know some kids experience regression with nighttime sleep, perhaps this is your situation.  good luck & hang in there!

sgillogley

I have a 20 mo that has been fighting going to bed also. But I noticed you said you have a new baby in the house too, so that could be adding to your situation. I don't know how your toddler is handling the new addition but you may want to look into that aspect also.

Knottie30597254

I hear you and same here!!! I really hope is a phase + a ear infection we are getting over ...

steffaneh

I was looking for a thread like this last night because I am going through the same exact thing! I have a 6 week old that wakes up only once in the night and my 19 month old will scream for 2-3 hours (sometimes 4 such as last night). I am mentally and physically exhausted and don't know what to do. We did the whole sitting beside him until he fell asleep thing but it started to not even work because he knew we were going to sneak out the moment he fell asleep so he kept waking himself up every ten minutes. I agree it's separation anxiety! Once we found out about this last night they highly recommend not sitting next to them until they fall asleep. They say to tell them goodnight and then let them go to sleep on their own but we've been doing that for a week straight and he just cries and screams. Last night I couldn't take it anymore! We shut the door and let him cry until he fell asleep. As we speak he is sitting in his room crying because he won't stay in his bed. I don't know what else to do...this is my last resort.

Beth.1212

My 19 month old just went through a sleep regression. I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be with a 2 month old also keeping you awake! 

Luckily our LO is still in a crib. (If you put the mattress on the ground, could you still have your LO in the crib? It's a lifesaver for us that our DS can't get out.) What ended up working the best was this. When he started crying, I'd go in, pick him up, tell him softly that everything is alright and that it was night time (or nap time) and time to sleep, time to get some nice rest. I'd lay him down and rub his back and sing a short lullaby. Then I'd leave and not come back. Once he realized that crying wasn't going to get him the company that he wanted, he settled himself and went to sleep. The first couple of times it took 2+ hours (though that may have been partly because I was still going in periodically at that point, not yet having figured out that he was just crying because he *wanted* me in there with him). After a couple of days, DS's crying time went down to 10 minutes or less, and within 5-6 days he was back to normal. I think that's unusually quick for a kid to get over sleep regression. 

Good luck, and hang in there!