Inducing lactation, conursing

davimary

Just wondering if any other two mom families are planning on both nursing the new baby. I started on domperidone and bc two weeks ago and my wife is due 1/28. I'm currently debating whether to rent or buy a hospital grade pump, they're just so expensive! Is anyone else in this boat?

BookitBoo

I am not in this boat but I wish you the best of luck!

I bought my pump and I felt it was worth the cost.

Stargirlb

Yay how awesome that you are going to nurse too! I don't any experience, but my only thought is that I would hesitate to use a supplemental nursing system while you are nursing if there was anything other than your wife's pumped milk in it-- just because it will also be key for her to establish her supply and if baby is filling up with formula at any point will be a barrier to that. Do share more about how it goes!

rachel+family

Ina May Gaskin has a lot to say about this in her guide to breastfeeding book! This is my favorite thread so far by the way. YAY for shared breastfeeding!

NatureLovers

I don't have any advice, but what a great thing to do! I think there's a same sex parenting board where you might find someone with experience in this. Good luck!

Cbeanz

This is the best thing I've heard all day!

Hospital grade pumps are good, although honestly they cost too much to buy, IMO. I'd rent or stick to a Medela.

Tauristar

That's so awesome! I can say the hospital pump is well worth renting at least to get started, I bought a great madela and went right back to the hospital pump when I needed to increase supply. I had a premie and my milk needed a jump start to come in. I would check your wife's insurance, most are covered in the US.

Maebb

Wow, that's great!

I don't have experience with this, but my SIL rented a pump from the hospital, and it did seem to work really well. I used a Medela PISA, and I thought that was a good pump too. Good luck!

luciddreamer106

I don't have any advice, but just think it's really cool that you're doing that. As for the girl who @calindi‌ mentioned, I believe she's on the October BMB. I'll page her for you @jalara48‌.

Good luck!

NatureLovers

Is anyone else super jealous that their husband can't share in the nursing duties? Think how awesome that would be!

Stargirlb

NatureLovers said:

Is anyone else super jealous that their husband can't share in the nursing duties? Think how awesome that would be!

I'm happy to be the only one nursing because it gives me a great excuse to get out of any situation. ILs won't leave? "Sorry, have to go lie down and nurse the baby! See you again soon!"
Etc hahaha

My sister has breastfed my son a bunch of times. I think it's great to know someone else who is nursing who can take care of your baby if you need. Bottles are more hassle. Nice to drop my baby off with her and know she could feed on demand too. I told her to keep her supply until this one comes too... Her son is 4 and still nurses a little bit.

rachel+family

Damn I need a nursing buddy. I used to tease my sister saying she should induce lactation, but in all honesty I always hoped she would just say, "sure why not".
I had a single electric Medela pump and I think it really helped with my supply. Not sure if it would be enough to induce lactation though. I always wanted a double pump. AGAIN, good luck to you two. I hope to hear how it all turns out

davimary

Wow! Thank you all so much for the resources! This makes me even more excited I'll definitely join those other groups.

davimary

Jalara48,

Have you had any drops yet? Are you working with a doctor who has experience with induced lactation?
Thank you!

Cbeanz

NatureLovers said:

Is anyone else super jealous that their husband can't share in the nursing duties? Think how awesome that would be!

Not even close. I adored every minute spent nursing my newborn. It was a privilege, not a chore. It was my quiet intimate time with my tiny baby and I wouldn't have traded it for anything.
That said, I think it's great that OP will be able to share in that intimate time. But it's not a hassle I'd want a break from.

JerseyHopeful

So interesting that this came up on here and on a Facebook support group today where a lactation nurse posted this: https://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/relactation/

Very very cool that you are doing this!

RibbetRibbet

JerseyHopeful said:

So interesting that this came up on here and on a Facebook support group today where a lactation nurse posted this: https://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/relactation/ Very very cool that you are doing this!

I was just about to come here and post this. LOVE Kellymom.com.

Maebb

DH was jealous that he couldn't nurse. He still did "skin to skin" time with DS during the first two weeks, but he said he felt left out because DS physically needed me for his survival but didn't really need DH.

I liked nursing even though it was hard work, but it would have been nice if we could have taken turns.

Anyway, back to the conversation at hand - I think it's great that moms are considering induced lactation, and I hope it works well for you!

MrsRachelAnn

Just want to say that you ladies are amazing!

butchmum

I'm pregnant right now with our second, but my wife carried our first and I induced lactation. I didn't use any drugs or the pump, just put the baby to the breast three times a day for 3 mins or so a side once the feeding was well established for my wife. It only took 3 days for milk to come in and it was a truly amazing experience. I felt like it was a confirmation that my body knew that I was her mother even though I hadn't carried her. What I didn't do was go to any great lengths to build my supply. The thing about breastfeeding is that it works on a supply/demand system and I really didn't want to interfere with my wife's milk supply by providing too much milk and thus cutting down the amount that the baby took from her. She was the primary breastfeeder and I was more of a snack. If you both want to be primary breastfeeders you have to be very, very careful and very disciplined to make sure that both women are maintaining their supply. And don't forget that nothing is as effective as the baby for getting the milk out. Even if you/she pump whenever the other woman is feeding (so that you both can maintain the supply) the baby is more efficient at removing the milk and also provides an amazing hormone feedback loop that the pump won't. I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from what they hope to achieve, just saying that you need to be very clear with yourself and your partner about how the labour of feeding will be distributed and then make sure you have the right plan in place to get it to work. I'm also happy to answer any questions you might have for someone who has done it before, though my route was the entirely "natural" one without any supplements or anything. There are certain issues that arise with two-mother families that are just not present with adoptive lactation. And good luck with it all! Breastfeeding is fucking hard at times, particularly at the start, but so so worth it.

davimary

@butchmum‌
Wow! It's amazing that you were able to begin lactating completely naturally. I also plan to just be the "snack" feeder. I think I'll wait 4-6 weeks after the baby is born so that my wife has a well established supply and routine with the baby. Thank you for all of your advice!

butchmum

davimary

Yeah, I was really thrilled. But to be honest, a lot of the info that's out there is aimed at adoptive mums rather than lesbian mums, and having been around the whole pregnancy and birth does things to your body even if it's not the same as being pregnant yourself. Right now I'm 19 weeks pregnant plus a couple of days and my boobs have--quite literally, with no exaggeration--gone up four cup sizes already. They're fucking enormous! Obviously, I'm going to produce more milk with these inflated things than I did with my own regular old breasts (given that I took no hormonal supplements). The situation I had last time was kind of ideal: I was able to breastfeed, which was phenomenal, but I didn't have leaking, or have to worry about my supply or any of the other stuff that goes along with it. I was around a lot (I'm an academic and worked from home most days, going in just to do my teaching) and I made sure that I changed the diapers when I was home, which felt like a good division of labour, too. We also did "Elimination Communication" with our daughter (basically potty training from birth) which was great for me because I felt really tuned into what she was trying to communicate and was therefore able to feel very "motherly" in that, "oh, only her mother knows what she needs" kind of way.

Also, maybe this is TMI, but during my wife's labour I started bleeding from my vag (totally unexpectedly, my period was not due for weeks), and our midwife said that can often happen when you're really tuned into the experience of the birthing mother. It struck me as another way of my body responding to the event and participating (in its own, very different from actually labouring kind of way).