XP: Preparing for new baby when you have a toddler / books

Beth.1212

Hello! I'm an expecting SAHM just about to enter my 2nd tri. My first baby will be 26 months when my second is born. 

I'm kind of concerned on the logistics of how to take care of two little guys, especially ones that are so close together in age. I am the kind of person who likes to feel at least a little bit prepared, and I'd love to start to figure out how that's going to work before my second is born. Do you have any recommended websites or books? Or just general recommendations? (I'm concerned about things like: What do you do when they both seem to need you at the same time? How do you keep an eye on the toddler while nursing the baby? How do you make sure that you're giving enough attention and development opportunities to the toddler and giving enough TLC to the baby? How the heck do you manage opposing nap schedules and ever get out of the house?)

Thanks for any help you can offer

ToastieSimons

Mine are 24 months apart.  I'm 2 years in.

It's hard..  The first year was survival.  

1) Before your DH leave prepare sippies and kid portions of snack in easy to grab containers.  This way you can hold baby while grabbing snack for the older.  if you're FF, premake all baby bottles.  I didn't care how much formula got wasted if it didn't mean needing 2 hands to pour formula into bottles.

2) Premake/portion healthy snacks and lunch for yourself.  My issue was eating for myself.  I would be so overwhelmed that making food for the me was lowest on the priority list.

Put a gate of some sort up. We were in a condo that had a set of stairs so we gated off the landing at the bottom so DS1 couldn't climb up.  I then put a RNP or bouncy seat on the other side.  This way if I had to jump up and care for DS1 the baby was safe on the other side of the gate.

Plan activities you can do sitting on the floor or at the table with your oldest.  This way you can interact at their level while still comfortable sitting holding the baby.  I have very high needs kids so they want to be held all the time as infants.  Utilize bouncers and swings.  TV and fun apps on the Ipad.  and walks.  Get a good infant carrier to wear baby or if they're happy in the carseat put that in the back of the cart and your oldest in the seat part.   Or a good stroller.

  

Walks were our saving grace.

You'll be okay, I promise.  

As for naps, in the beginning DS2 napped anywhere and often so it wasn't a big deal.  Once he hit 5 months it got hard.  He was napping 2x/day and DS1 was napping 1x/day.

We would usually go out right after breakfast TBH.  We would do our errands in those 2 hours or storytime etc and then come home for naps.  at 9 months DS2 dropped to 1 long nap at the same time as DS1 so it was much better.

sschwege

Kimbus said it so well, I won't reiterate.  

DD and DS are 2 1/4 apart and I'm 19 months in.  We've been really happy with the separation.

I spent most of my pregnancy having DD sit next to me as opposed to in my lap, while we read, did puzzles, colored, etc.  I did this in anticipation of the fact that baby would be in my lap nursing a lot and I didn't want DD to feel displaced.  I tried to make nursing DS a fun time for her when she knew I would sit down and play.  There were times when I would be done nursing DS and she would ask me to sit back down and feed him again.  So she really learned to look forward to that time.  

I used the carrier a lot with DS, so invest in a good one, or two.

I tried to get DS to nap around 1:00 every day because that was the time DD would take her nap.  I would feed him, change him, swaddle him, get him all comfy and put him in the swing with some nice white noise.  It was the only time of day I used the swing and it typically worked to get a nice long nap out of him so I could nap too.

Books: I like the book by Dr. Sears, "What Baby Needs" it's not the best written book, but what I liked about it was that they show baby nursing, room-sharing, in a carrier, etc.  All things that seem absent in most books.  I also like, "Big Sisters Are The Best" they make one for big brothers too.    

Beth.1212

Thanks for the input! I really appreciate the advice and perspective. 

Disneygeek77

MY hospital offers classes on being a big sibling.  DD took a class before DS was born and they both will take a class when this baby is born.