Hi! I've been a lurker on this board for quite some time, and I've gotten some really great insight from all of you. I thought I'd introduce myself now, and also ask a question if you guys don't mind
I have 2 children, a 7 year old son and a 15 month old son. My 7 year old is not biologically my husband's child (my husband and I married when DS1 was 5) but my 15 month old is my husband's first biological child. We are currently going through court proceedings to terminate parental rights of DS1's bio dad due to abandonment and failure to assume parental responsibility, so my husband can adopt DS1. Even though his bio dad has absolutely no interest in DS1, he will not agree to termination. So we are going to trial next week. My attorney and the guardian ad litem are very convinced we'll win the case, as bio dad has no leg to stand on in court, and it's clearly in DS1's best interest to terminate.
So, now you have the background, here's the question I have: Do you know of any children's books on adoption that I could get to try and explain to my son better? He doesn't know that his bio dad is his actual father, because bio dad never wanted to be called dad and has never formed a father/son relationship with DS1. DS1 has called my husband "daddy" for years, even though he knows that my husband has not always been in his life. He asks questions like "were you there when I was born?" And we are always truthful to him, and tell him that my husband didn't meet him for several years. DS1 seems to understand that that isn't how things usually are with parents, but he hasn't seemed to make the connection in his mind yet about what that truly means. We are always there to help him understand in simple terms that no, DH wasn't there when you were born and didn't know you as a baby, so we've never lied to him about that and we wouldn't lie to him about adoption either, I'm just unsure about how to help him understand better. I thought maybe a children's book might help. Any recommendations?
Also, have any of you gone through a stepparent adoption before? What was the homestudy and paperwork like?