DFS Woes

daystardreams

I'm not sure how many of you have any advice on this situation but I thought I'd try because I'm in a really tough spot. Short background history (I'll try to be short)

My sister had a son when she was very young to a father that was never there. My parents raised him for the first two years. She met a man and they moved in together but he was a bad alcoholic so he went to rehab and my sister and her son moved back in. Once the man got out of rehab, he too moved in with my parents for about a year before they got back on their feet. They lived on their own for about a year, all the while my mom and dad helped out with bills, food, and school clothes. They ended up having a daughter together. Things were looking up for them until they both started using meth.

Things went downhill very fast and they ended up moving into a trailer that my parents owned so they wouldn't have to pay rent. They couldn't keep up electric there though, couldn't keep food even with food stamps. The kids now 10 and 6 started missing school a lot. Eventually DFS got involved. The man is an addict, always addicted to something. He is also abusive toward my sister and occasionally toward my nephew. DFS recommended that my sister and the children move in with my parents for thirty days while they worked on a safe plan.

What ended up happening however, is that DFS didn't come back. My sister ran off because doing meth is easier than being a parent. My parents just took care of the kids for six months...well last week DFS decided that the kids needed guardianship but my sister refused to let the kids stay with my parents so they gave both children to my niece's father. He tries to be a good man, he really does but time and time again he has failed. My nephew hates him. He doesn't want to live with him. He even said that he would kill himself if he had to stay there. My mother reported this to DFS and the lady very hatefully told her that the children were staying put even though they sleep on the floor there and my nephew hates it there. She also told my mom that if this situation doesn't work out they will give my nephew to his biological father.

His biological father is a convicted child molester, he molested an 11 year old boy, my nephew is 10, has never met him. The bio dad has only recently shown any interest in the child. When my mother told the woman this, she said "I'm aware of that." My mom sort of felt like it was a threat, like leave us alone or we will put your grandson with a child molester. She was speaking with the supervisor. Can we go over her head? They haven't even checked the home that the children have been placed in and the home owner is a violent felon. He has domestic assault charges. I don't feel like they are even remotely putting the children's best interests first and I feel like they are putting them in danger because they said they prevent taking custody of the children at all costs and my mom asked them, even the children? And she replied yes. They don't care what it costs the children as long as they don't have to pay for them. Are we being crazy like everyone seems to think?

Dr.Loretta

If I were your parents, I would be enlisting a lawyer ASAP

daystardreams

@Dr. Loretta We've talked about it but we aren't sure how much it will help. Maybe we can get a free consult.

Also wanted to add that I know I'm not a member of this board and I'm not positive of the board etiquette but I just needed to get this out.

Dr.Loretta

Your board etiquette is fine. There are people here who dealt with DFS, they may be able to provide more insight

irismorning

I would at least consult with a lawyer. Many give free initial consults. Protecting the kids is worth every penny.

daystardreams

Thank you guys for your insight. Is there any way to go over the supervisor's head? She is the supervisor of the county's agency but shouldn't there be like a district supervisor or something?

[Deleted User]

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daystardreams

Today they gave my nephew to his biological father. They did so because he got notice that his child support would be going to my niece's father. He called and said he didn't want to pay child support so they gave him my nephew. They know he is a sex offender of a boy the same age as my nephew. They know that my nephew doesn't know him at all. They know that he refused to pay child support for ten years until he almost went to prison for it. They know all of this and yet they still gave my nephew to him. His grandson also died while in his care less than six months ago. I can't find any where that says why his grandson died, nobody was charged or anything though. I also know that the man is a drug dealer because he sells his prescription pills to my sister which she won't tell anyone because it will make her look bad also. He is also ten years older than my sister and my nephew was conceived while she was underage. Seriously, does none of this matter?

ETA: This is such a hard situation. Thank you, each and every one of you for sharing advice and insight. It is at this moment incredibly valuable to me.

jjbmstinco

I am only a lurker but I did want to pop in.  I am a school counselor and work with DFS( we call it DHS).  Unfortunately this scenario is common at least where I am.  I hate every ounce of it.  When I had a similar situation happen for one of my students, I called the cops. (non emergency number).  I spoke with them about the situation. DHS was very upset with me that I called the cops, but I felt that I had to protect my little girl. After talking to me and looking at his file,they agreed with me that it wasn't a safe place. Then they called the supervisor and have a lot more power.They removed her from the home.  They told me that I did the right thing because this is a criminal charge against this guy.  This is something that DHS doesn't really care about, but the police do.  Again, this is all in my area, and may be different for you.

I am not sure if that will work in your situation, but I wanted to share my experience.  I would document everything that you can with dates.  Also let his teacher/school counselor know about the situation so they can be aware of any changes in his behavior.  Having this data will help move the court process. I am sorry that you have to deal with all this. 

If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me.  I am trying to be discrete for confidentiality purposes. 

daystardreams

@jjbmstinco Thank you very much. This information helps us a lot! I'll see what we can do with it!