Baby Shower for 3rd baby

Prinycesa07

Curious as to what you think I should do...

So when I first told my family I was pregnant (baby number 3) they were all excited. My sister in law (sweet, sweet girl) said "Oh im SO excited to plan another baby shower!" I told her no, no no, no baby shower! That i've already had one for both of my kids 4 yrs ago.  She said no, its just a little party for our close friends.  Now, I have nothing against having a little sprinkle/shower/whatever you want to call it for each baby, I think its sweet.  BUT i dont want one, i dont want anyone to think that i'm tacky or to feel like they have to buy a gift AGAIN for me.  Honestly, i truly don't.  So then fast forward to us finding out that we are having a girl.  My SIL says "ooooooh, a pink baby shower!".  Again, i tell her nooo, no baby shower.  She just smirks and says yeah, yeah.  So, yesterday we were having dinner at my parents house and she asked me what colors i was doing for the babies room, what kinds of things i still needed for her and what size clothes i needed if someone wanted to buy her something. Oh and she kind of let something about a private planning board on Pinterest slip.  Again, told her no baby shower!  But I honestly don't think she is going to listen.  She is the sweetest,most kind hearted person and i love her tons and don't want to hurt her feelings.  Would you tell her again that you don't want a baby sprinkle? I dont want to seem ungrateful but I really don't want people to think i'm tacky or to feel put out, ya know?

chicorojo

It sounds like they are planning to surprise you. And you can't really help that. Second and third showers are common in my area, but I'm not a fan so I told everyone no. Anyway, if I got an invite to your surprise baby shower I wouldnt think you were tacky, you didn't know it was happening.
Also you can keep reminding them you would rather not have a shower, but if they are like my in laws they will do what they want regardless.

JunkieBrewster

My son is 8, we often celebrate every baby in our circle/family.

My SIL is throwing me one for this baby.

I am prepared that some people may think it's tacky, I just don't care.

We have already bought EVERYTHING we need for this baby, so I am not depending on the shower, but I am not going to fight them when they want to do it.

pregnantinstyle

Your SIL sounds like the sweetest!!! It does seem like she plans on surprising you with a baby shower. It's really hard to control that even though you asked her not to. I don't think it's tacky either and if she does wind up throwing the shower then i guess there really isn't much you can do.

JulieSC81

1) its nice that you arent gift grabby and tacky and 2) it sounds like she is going to ignore you and do it anyway. I have had several people tell me they cant wait for my shower #-o . I have told them, my SO, and both our families that i do not want one because i do not need one because we already have everything we need. Seriously hoping people listen to me :-< . Not sure your SIL will pay much attention to you. Im no help I guess lol .

byrne15

I'm having the same issue right now. I had a baby shower 7 years ago for ds#1 which was more than generous of people. Fast forward to now...I am having baby #3 (girl) after 2 boys. Several of the girls at work mentioned throwing a sprinkle. I just keep saying no thanks. But now I am thinking that I am the one in the wrong by not allowing people to be nice to me.

IDK. I don't like attention and whatnot and I would really rather prefer going out to dinner with them where no gifts are exchanged.

rshamos

You could steer it towards something small. Maybe say, "we have absolutely EVERYTHING for this baby, but some new books. I would love if I were to have a shower if everyone would just bring a book with something personal written in it for the baby." Then it is a $5-10 present and no one will feel obligated to get something bigger.

Prinycesa07

Thanks for the thoughts ladies! I actually have bought most everything that we need already & only have a few things left to get. When she asked me what else we still needed I said "nothing really, just a few more cloth diapers and were all set". We'll see if she gets the hint lol

CandEChicago

QFP... just in case.  

Prinycesa07 said:

Curious as to what you think I should do...

So when I first told my family I was pregnant (baby number 3) they were all excited. My sister in law (sweet, sweet girl) said "Oh im SO excited to plan another baby shower!" I told her no, no no, no baby shower! That i've already had one for both of my kids 4 yrs ago.  She said no, its just a little party for our close friends.  Now, I have nothing against having a little sprinkle/shower/whatever you want to call it for each baby, I think its sweet.  BUT i dont want one, i dont want anyone to think that i'm tacky or to feel like they have to buy a gift AGAIN for me.  Honestly, i truly don't.  So then fast forward to us finding out that we are having a girl.  My SIL says "ooooooh, a pink baby shower!".  Again, i tell her nooo, no baby shower.  She just smirks and says yeah, yeah.  So, yesterday we were having dinner at my parents house and she asked me what colors i was doing for the babies room, what kinds of things i still needed for her and what size clothes i needed if someone wanted to buy her something. Oh and she kind of let something about a private planning board on Pinterest slip.  Again, told her no baby shower!  But I honestly don't think she is going to listen.  She is the sweetest,most kind hearted person and i love her tons and don't want to hurt her feelings.  Would you tell her again that you don't want a baby sprinkle? I dont want to seem ungrateful but I really don't want people to think i'm tacky or to feel put out, ya know?

Prinycesa07 said:

Thanks for the thoughts ladies! I actually have bought most everything that we need already & only have a few things left to get. When she asked me what else we still needed I said "nothing really, just a few more cloth diapers and were all set". We'll see if she gets the hint lol

CandEChicago

I would talk to your mother/mother-in-law and state how you are uncomfortable about the idea of a surprise shower.   If she is your H's sister, I would have H speak to her directly as well stating how uncomfortable you are with the idea of a suprirse shower. 

Prinycesa07

It's my brothers fiancée. She's on the younger side so I'm not sure that she gets the etiquette when it comes to showers maybe?

And just curious why the copy and paste? Did I miss something?

Prinycesa07

Amw- that's exactly her. She loves throwing parties! It's totally her thing.

Prinycesa07

And that's a great idea- I can talk to my brother about it so he can tell her.

CandEChicago

Prinycesa07 said:

And that's a great idea- I can talk to my brother about it so he can tell her.

Besides... with baby being born around christmas I am sure you are going to some additional baby related items (for mommy,daddy, or baby)

Prinycesa07

EXACTLY. We truly need nothing. I am actually enjoying the shopping and finding deals. I'll probably be finished with everything soon!

jray6456

My good friend just had the same problem. Her mom insisted on throwing a shower so she gave in. On the invitations she asked for no gifts and called it more of a celebration in honor of the new baby rather than a shower of gifts for the new baby. We all went and had food, ate cake and played the typical baby games. It was a lot of fun.

Prinycesa07

Jray- I was thinking about that. Did people still wind up bringing gifts or no? I really would want no one to bring anything.

Disneygeek77

I wanted something similar to what jray said, something very very small with close friends and family and no gifts.  Well it wasn't that way.  MY mom ended up inviting her friends I never see and some people brought gifts.  That was very kind of people to give me gifts, but it wasn't what I wanted and if I am going to be completely honest, I wish I would have told them no.

caden1206

Personally, if you REALLY don't want one you just need to tell her. But, if you don't mind the idea, let her do it! Sometimes people like doing things for others and it sounds like she is super excited. I say enjoy the moment.

If you don't want gifts or for people to feel obligated, you could ask them to bring gently used children's coats, blankets, or clothing to be donated to a shelter.