3 YO Boy Potty Training Troubles - Sorry Long!

DaisyZH

My son turned 3 about a month ago and we are really struggling with potty training. We started when he was 2.5 and yet it didn't seem to click until literally the day he turned 3. He will pee in the potty (our toilet with a toddler insert seat) now and most of the time he will tell us when he has to pee, then he will run to the bathroom. He will also use the toilet to pee when we visit friends or family.

I have two main issues:

1) He almost exclusively poops in his underwear.  He never even seems to notice unless it literally falls out.  What makes is worse is he poops 3-4 times per day.  He is not constipated or diarrhea, both my kids just go a lot.  When he has an accident he will happily help clean up, listen very seriously about how poop goes in the potty, but then does it again an hour later.

2) He won't use public restrooms.  I understand why, but we have tried to get him to stand up to pee with no avail (Cheerios, food coloring, modeling, books, etc) and he doesn't want to sit.  He will sit to try if we tell him he has to but he never goes.  This results in pee accidents when we're not at our house or someone else's house.  

My biggest problem is he has to start preschool in 4 weeks.  They don't allow kids that aren't potty trained.  At this point he has been exclusively in underwear except for overnight for about 8 weeks so I'm frustrated with all of the "Train Your Kids in 1 Day" methods because he IS just wearing underwear.  Going naked doesn't seem to help either.  The diapers are gone except pull ups for overnight.  We've had 4 poop (at home) and 1 pee (at library) accidents today alone.  

I honestly am wondering if I should not put him in this year - he did the 2 year old class last year and loved it, he is so smart and loves other kids.  I hate to not give him the enrichment, but I'm so afraid he'll get kicked out or teased.  I am almost certain he'd have an accident because it's 3 hours per day and he goes so often.  Any other ideas, thoughts, anything? 

ashiscute

I don't have any real answers but thought I'd throw some things at you.  I have a friend who's LO will be 3 in a couple weeks and isn't potty trained and she isn't putting him in preschool either because of this.  

Have you looked for another preschool that doesn't require children to be potty trained?   I know it's a long shot.  

Are you committing for the whole year or do you pay monthly?  If it's only monthly it might be worth it to try for a month and see what happens.  My DD loves going potty at the preschool because it's a small potty and she can do everything without any help.  Plus seeing other kids going potty might be an incentive.

As for the poop will he poop on the potty ever?  Have you noticed that he poops during certain times of the day where you can take him to the potty?  If you notice signs of him pooping can you move him to the potty and try to get him to go there?  I think you might have to be more vigilant about helping him remember to use the potty.  

I know that's not help but it's hard to say why he is having trouble pooping in the potty.  The public potty thing is normal.  I think that comes with time and exposure.  My DD peed in public potties pretty quickly but has never pooped in a public potty (she's been PT about 14 mos).  It just freaks her out too much.  Good luck!

girlnextdoornco

Sounds like he may not be ready for the preschool based on their potty training rules. Is there a chance he can enroll for the second half of the year? Maybe he'll be ready by then.

DaisyZH

ashiscute said:

I don't have any real answers but thought I'd throw some things at you.  I have a friend who's LO will be 3 in a couple weeks and isn't potty trained and she isn't putting him in preschool either because of this.  

Have you looked for another preschool that doesn't require children to be potty trained?   I know it's a long shot.  

Are you committing for the whole year or do you pay monthly?  If it's only monthly it might be worth it to try for a month and see what happens.  My DD loves going potty at the preschool because it's a small potty and she can do everything without any help.  Plus seeing other kids going potty might be an incentive.

As for the poop will he poop on the potty ever?  Have you noticed that he poops during certain times of the day where you can take him to the potty?  If you notice signs of him pooping can you move him to the potty and try to get him to go there?  I think you might have to be more vigilant about helping him remember to use the potty.  

I know that's not help but it's hard to say why he is having trouble pooping in the potty.  The public potty thing is normal.  I think that comes with time and exposure.  My DD peed in public potties pretty quickly but has never pooped in a public potty (she's been PT about 14 mos).  It just freaks her out too much.  Good luck!

Thank you so much for the advice!  I have been looking for a new preschool that doesn't require kids to be PT and while I have found one that is more lenient my DH is reluctant to pull DS out of his current school until we 100% know he won't be able to do it.  He keeps hoping something will click like it did for peeing in the toilet.

I understand his reasoning, while we will pay monthly we were required to put down a non-refundable $250 deposit as well as pay September's fee in advance.  The school is also affiliated with our church so DS has his buddies, comfort level, etc.  We also like the program.  

With all that said I'm ready to call it and try to get him a spot at the other school if possible.  Either that or keep him at home a few more months then see what preschools have openings for new students.

I am going to start writing down the times he poops to see if I can discern a pattern.  Thank you again for your advice!

DaisyZH

girlnextdoornco said:

Sounds like he may not be ready for the preschool based on their potty training rules. Is there a chance he can enroll for the second half of the year? Maybe he'll be ready by then.

I am hoping this may be an option.  I understand that he won't be able to do the morning class since there is a waiting list but I'm going to ask about the afternoon classes.