Does "doubt mean don't?"

contourhands

Hi.... Anyone else have this experience? I thought I wanted another..... Then my dh went back to school and BOY did life get stressful! We have really been just scraping by....since my Dh is always busy with school it is like I am carrying the load for us both....I teach, I come home and spend all my time with my DS and I do all the housework.... Etc... Well summer came and I finished a year of stressful teaching and finally had some down time all while my dh only had another year left of school so we thought "let's do it, let's have another" so we started to try but then I started having stomach issues. My doctor is having me take a gullblatter test due to abnormal results on ultrasound.... This was like the icing on the cake for my decision that possibly having another is not for me... I'm 36 already and ever since like got so stressful I've been so doubtful of having another... When we started to try a few months ago I felt (sadly) my inner voice fearing getting pregnant. It hurts me deeply actually to realize this because I wish my life circumstances were different... I know I need to come to terms with it... I'm not young, I'm not in great health right now and I'm really over stretched.... As great as having a bigger family sounds I'm just feeling like maybe it's not for me. It's as if I've been sitting on the fence for the last year now I'm leaning over to 1&d now ...just wish Something would feel certain at so e point...btw my dh is very easy going about all this... He's happy either way... Thanks for listening

Helenahhandbasket

Hi-- I think it's only normal to have doubts on any and all big life decisions.

I don't know if this will help you at all, but I've said it before.  I would rather regret not having another then have another and regret having that child.

Good luck to you-- hope you decide to stick around.