WWCDBD? (NCDR)

km_md

So a lot of you have heard me talk about DDs reflux and feeding issues. To recap - she has had bad reflux since birth, screams in pain, spits up all day, has stopped breathing, isn't gaining enough weight, is on two medications and has pretty much refused formula up to this point.

Yesterday morning was horrible. Poor girl was grabbing her chest and arching her back while she cried in pain. Then she started refusing the breast. The dietician that we are seeing gave me a can of Pur Amino formula to try and supplement with so I got her a bottle ready yesterday and she drank it! At the advice of the dietician I gave her formula all day and pumped my breast milk. The rest of the day was so much better for her.

So now I'm struggling with the decision of whether I should give up breastfeeding and keep giving this formula or whether I should keep breastfeeding and only use the formula as an occasional supplement. All we know for sure is that she has reflux but there are possible sensitivities too. I tried an elimination diet and I'm not really sure how much it helped but I was losing so much weight and I had a hard time finding things to eat because of my own food intolerances.

I want to keep breastfeeding because it's good for her and I love snuggling and feeding her. And I feel like it's what I should do. But I just want my baby girl to feel better and we've tried everything and we are seeing specialists but still having troubles. So if she will feel better on this formula, that would be amazing.

What would you do? I'm just looking for some opinions and maybe things I'm not really considering or something. Or maybe just some hugs. My family and friends don't really get it. This is a big decision.

km_md

Thanks for your reply. I gave up dairy almost immediately after she was born so I gave that one a long time. Soy I cut out after a couple of months but still went without it for a few months. It should have been long enough for those two things to notice a difference, according to the doctors. She had skin allergy testing done and didn't show any reaction to eggs or wheat or nuts so they told me that there was no point in continuing to eliminate other things.

countrycotton

I would continue to pump, but would freeze it. Give the formula for now since she seems to feel better with it and will eat. Later when she out grows the reflux you will have a great stash of frozen Brest milk to give her, and may be able to get her to nurse again. I know that it is hard to quit nursing. I found that I was able to keep the bound and snuggles by holding dd right up against me and looking into her eyes as I gave the bottle. We stopped Brest feeding at 2 months, but she still prefers mom give her a bottle and really enjoys her snuggle time. That just what I would do, but you have to decide what is best for you and your baby. Good luck!

TJ1979

As a mom who is dairy, soy, wheat, and nut free for my LO, I really find that it's worth it to try to make BFing work. You have up dairy and soy for LO and mentioned your own intolerances... What are you intolerant to? My ped said testing isn't accurate in an infant bc they haven't been exposed to the irritants enough to throw a reaction to everything they might be intolerant to. My LO improved after just 3 days without nuts, and we have no family history of nut allergies.

Amores0121

I agree with @countrycotton.  You have been through so much and this is hard on both of you.  If you found something that works for her, I would stick with that for now.  But that is just me. I don"t think I could mentally handle all the stress of changing the diet and trying to figure out what is wrong, so I give you moms who do that a lot of credit.  Breastfeeding is hard to begin with, I'm sorry you've had to go through this. ((hugs))

km_md

I have been freezing my milk so it is there and my supply is staying up.

I was really surprised that they did allergy tests on her but with all of the information we gave him, his exam of her, and the skin tests he thinks it's probably not an allergy.

Most signs point to reflux. I've tried to keep an eye on what I ate to see if I could find a pattern or something but the only thing that stood out is when I ate cheese once she spit up like a fountain the next couple of days.

@TJ1979‌ I don't really have much in the way of actual allergies that I know of. I am allergic to coconut and onion makes me sick. But I have IBS and some reflux myself so I just have foods that seem to make it worse and I can't eat much of without getting sick, like dairy, tomatoes, lettuce, some fruit, etc. or if I eat too much of certain foods like bread or potatoes. I'm also a picky eater so my palate is kind of limited to begin with. I don't eat much meat so I get a lot of protein from nuts and beans and eggs. I want to do what is best for her but it was even difficult going completely MSPI for me. I couldn't keep weight on when I was on that diet and I felt like it was no good for either of us.

flummadiddle85

AFWifeLife and TJ have some good advice and experience. Only you can decide what is going to be best, whatever that is. I just wanted to add, that I have a friend whose LO is MPI, and she has a slew of food intolerances/allergies herself. I know one of her big ones is corn and wheat, but I think there's more. On top of that, her DS has never been able to nurse, even with much help from LCs and specialists, so she is going on almost a year of EP at this point. 

I know she has her own reasons for sticking to a difficult diet and EP, but I know she is also looking forward to not having to pump anymore. Also, she has a ton of milk stored, and I know she has donated it to local moms that have needed it. So if you are pumping, and LO can't take it at all, that's an option too. 

kmc84

Do you think you could try to do half bm and half of the new formula? Hopefully that would work and she would feel better and get some bm benefits!

((Hugs)) this has got to be so difficult!

km_md

Thanks for your replies. I don't want to give up if I don't have to, I originally set a BF goal of one year, and I'm over halfway to that point now. It is just so awful to see her be in pain and not know what to do, when we've tried so many things. If reflux truly is the only problem, I don't think that formula, even this broken down, will be any different than breastmilk, but I just feel like I need to try something. Her doctors haven't felt that me eliminating anything else from my diet will help, so why should I go through that if I don't have to, but at the same time, doctors can be wrong and you don't know what will work until you try it. I know this is my decision to make, but thanks for reading and offering your support and suggestions. 

@TJ1979 - What order did you eliminate those in? Is it a standard order or do people just keep trying things until they find one that makes a difference?

sarenu1

missmimsyy said:

I'd suggest keep pumping and see if it agrees with her system later on if that's what you want to try.  Always remember that if she can't tolerate the BM- you can always donate it.

I'd probably lean toward this.  Keep pumping if you can, see if the formula helps, and if you stick with just the formula, I'd donate the milk if I could

As much as I'd try my hardest to breastfeed for 6 months, I'd also want my child to be happy and healthy if it didn't work out.

sarenu1

sarenu1 said:

missmimsyy said:

I'd suggest keep pumping and see if it agrees with her system later on if that's what you want to try.  Always remember that if she can't tolerate the BM- you can always donate it.

I'd probably lean toward this.  Keep pumping if you can, see if the formula helps, and if you stick with just the formula, I'd donate the milk if I could

As much as I'd try my hardest to breastfeed for 6 months, I'd also want my child to be happy and healthy if it didn't work out.

Oh, and I'd also like to add that mom should be happy and health as well.  I noticed you mentioned you have dietary restrictions as well.  

zaraceligon

I think this is a situation where the main thing is to help to your LO waing waight,and for her to be stable with his reflux. I know is hard,but it seems you all ready try everything to help her to take your BM. But at the moment what's more importan is what she can tolarate and not your wish of continuing giving BM. As I always said is good to give BM, to babies. But when babies are not digesting it and if they feel better with other options, why not concentrate on the option, after she gain some waight you can try again giving BM.

TJ1979

I started with dairy and soy bc my first was MSPI. Then I eliminated wheat and corn. Then I started a food journal. Every time I drank this one smoothie with almond milk and peanut butter in it, she had terrible spitting up and fussiness and unable to sleep at night. I was also eating Lara bars like it was my job. Those all have nuts. So I cut nuts next, and it was a noticeable difference quickly. I have since added back corn with no problem, and accidentally had soy once and she had a huge reaction. I would like to try reintroducing nuts one at a time at some point, but I'm still getting settled in this diet.

I highly recommend trying a food journal, that includes her temperament and her reflux reactions. Come up with a scale like 1-5 that accounts for her pain and spittiness or whatever. Then try to find a trigger. I only did the journal for one week and it was obvious.

And like everyone else has said, just bc this worked for me doesn't mean it's what is best for you and your family. I just felt like we would haw just as much trouble finding a formula that worked, plus the cost, so I might as well do what I can first. You are not a failure if you go with the formula. So do not feel guilty.

km_md

Thank you @TJ1979. That is all really helpful!

I might take your (and PPs) suggestion and try a food journal to see if I notice anything. I tried to track it mentally but there could obviously be a lot that I missed. 

abby8279

I have much empathy for you!  I have had to call it quits on breastfeeding twice before I was ready to.  With DD#1 I only lasted 10 days.  She was not latching, my supply never really fully came in, etc.  I knew it was trouble when, of all people, the lactation consultant brought out the formula.  With DD#2 I lasted 6 mo.  I stopped because I got pregnant w/ DD#3 and my supply tanked.  I tried everything I could do to get my supply up to no avail.  With that said, I know how heavy on the heart it is to be done.  For me, making the decision to be done was the hardest part.  I cried and felt terrible.  After that I experienced a sense of relief.  Feedings were actually more enjoyable.  I could snuggle with them (while I fed a bottle).  I wasn't worried about how much they were getting, if their tummies were full, and worry every time they cried that they were hungry.  In the end I realized that both of us being miserable just to fulfill my need to breastfeed was selfish.  And it's much more important to enjoy your baby because this is time you will never get back.

TugboatSheila

I am sorry you are faced with that decision. I know there is a lot of guilt that can be felt when deciding between BF and FF. there has been lots of advice I just wanted to add that no matter what you decide you are doing the best for your baby. That may be breastfeeding or it may be formula.

I just yesterday made the decision to stop pumping my milk because my breasts were pretty much all dried up and my milk supply never built up to begin with. even though it was the best decision for my family I still get disappointed. I try and remind myself that I didn't just give up I tried everything (sounds like you have too) and that my LO is thriving on formula.