When to try for baby #2?

Chloel23

My husband and I currently have a loving and very active 13month old. We had planned on spacing our children out at least a few years, so I had Mirena placed after having my son. Just last month I had an ectopic pregnancy, which is a side effect of the IUD, so now we're debating whether or not we should just try for our second or try other birth control options. I don't want there to be a huge age gap, but is two years too close?

LyndseylovesHugh

It is really a personal decision, I do not think there is such thing as to close or to far apart, it is what is best for your family.  We always wanted about a 2 year spacing and our kids are 22 months apart.  For us, this was the perfect spacing but for many that is to close together.  There is a 2U2 board if you have specific questions about them being that close together.

jess8543

Personally I would want another right now but I have to be realistic about my situation like finances, space, time, work. Once reviewing all of that and I get the green light its go, go,go lol. But you know yourself best so do what is best is for you and your family

JENandJEH

Mine are spaced 3 years and 11 months to the day apart.  I love the age gap and if we decide to have a third, we'll try to stick with that same spacing.  I knew that I wanted only 1 in diapers at a time and I know my personality and that 2 under 2 would have been too much for me.  It's such a personal decision and nobody can really tell you what the best answer is, just what worked and didn't work well for them.

ashiscute

The only answer is the one that works for you.  Mine are 19.5 mos apart and while that's a little closer than I was planning it is not much.  I did not care about having 2 in diapers (expense wise it's no fun but it's much easier to have 2 in diapers than a newborn and a newly potty trained toddler).  I also liked that my oldest was still napping consistently when the baby was little.  Mine are 3.5 and 23 mos now and play really well together most of the time.  The age difference has worked well for us.  

homebird

2 years is great for some and horrible for others, haha. 

Child care is the biggest factor that I have to consider. We have to figure out how many we can afford in daycare at once, so we don't want them too close together. We also have to consider my sister's pregnancy plans (my mom watches my youngest son and hers, so we can't load two new babies on her at once. We wait until the oldest can go into daycare, and then there's room for a new one, haha. It's all very complicated). 

Honestly, if it weren't for that I would get pregnant right now. I would prefer my kids be closer in age.

c-elizabethf

I have an IUD also, dh and i are planning on TTC when dd is 3 or 4. I don't want to much of a space.

greyt00

Mine are exactly 18 months apart and it was extremely difficult.  I don't know how I survived that first year.  DH and both work outside the home.  I pumped 6x per day and nursed at night.  I was on a very restrictive no-dairy and no soy (even soybean oil) diet for DS2's protein allergies, and sick every other week.  I ran myself completely ragged.  I got 3 stomach viruses and had bronchitis 3 times that year.  For the first 8 or so months, it felt like DS2 was my kid and DS1 was DH's kid.  Sounds terrible, but it was very hard and we each could only manage to deal with 1 of them. 

I tried to get pregnant again so fast because I thought it would never happen, or if it did, would take 1-2 years.  It took 5 months.  (In yo face, doctor!  ha ha)

That being said, if I had waited much longer to TTC, I probably would not have tried at all.  DS1 began having a lot of problems and then we found out he's autistic.  I would not have TTC #2 if I knew DS1 is on the spectrum or had any type of major developmental issue.  It breaks my heart to say it, but it's true.  If I waited longer and still tried anyway, I probably wouldn't have any good eggs left.  Waiting probably would have led to no additional kids one way or the other. 

In my head, if you don't anticipate fertility issues and you think you can handle another one even if one has special needs, 2.5 - 3 year spacing sounds good.  ;-)

Ananyaw

i suggest you to maintain a gap of 3- 4 yeears to plan for a second baby. 

DawnJM25

I didn't get a choice. DS was a lovely surprise. They are 14 mo apart.  It was a LOT of work for the first year.  DS is now 20 mo, DD is potty trained, and I can go out without a diaper bag sometimes!  Gasp!  Both STTN, too.   It's easier now.  Having had 2u2 for awhile, I would say that 2 1/2-3 years would be a good spacing if you don't want to go crazy EVERY day, just some days.

krazyinsane

We LOVE close age gaps but you and YH really do need to decide for yourselves. This on n isn't anything an internet forum can decide for you.