Pregnancy rules that SHOULD exist

jennypolkadots

I double dog dare any person other than DH to try to touch my belly. Or touch my newborn. I'm not the friendly pregnant  

I've already decided that when strangers start asking if I'm pregnant I will always say no, even at 9 months. I hate nosey people! 

DronkeyGal

Maple403 said:

People who ask "was this a planned pregnancy?" will be horsewhipped.

That is all, the rest of the rules seem to be covered

I've already had one person ask me that. My response: "if you must know, then yes. We lost our last baby in miscarriage so we are very happy to be pregnant again." That shut them right the hell up.

kcbizme

Do NOT ask the pregnant what they want (gender)!

How do you answer that without sounding completely ungrateful?

jennjilljo

Never throw away the pregnants food or feed it to the dog.

mommy510

jennypolkadots said:

I've already decided that when strangers start asking if I'm pregnant I will always say no, even at 9 months. I hate nosey people! 

I totally did this when I was pregnant with DS1. I was 9 months and it was ridiculous that they would even ask. I was obviously pregnant, and obviously due that month. I looked like I was about to pop, but everyone I passed at the store wanted to know "if" I was pregnant. So I just said, "No", gave them a dirty look, and walked away.

rosieo52

HailsMom said:

Unless you were there when the child was created, it's not your news to share. Announcing the pregnancy, sex of child, or birth of child, without permission will result in your mouth being sutured shut and you being bumped to the bottom of the list of people to be notified of events.

If I do give you permission to tell your giant family (i.e. my mother-in-law or my own mom for that matter) you don't get to say I'm having a baby!" Ummmm no!! You are not carrying the child or birthing it, it is not yours to claim! You may say "I'm having a grandbaby!" Also please do not say "She's with child." What?!? I'm not the Virgin Mary. Please just tell people I'm pregnant.

kjm1019

Oh man I wish it was that simple!!! My husband took the compressor off in January (the bearings were going bad) so now we have to buy a compressor and flush the system and refill the system. :-(

kcbizme

HailsMom said:

Unless you were there when the child was created, it's not your news to share. Announcing the pregnancy, sex of child, or birth of child, without permission will result in your mouth being sutured shut and you being bumped to the bottom of the list of people to be notified of events.

I had someone totally random come up to me over the weekend and tell me congratulations. I was like WTF? Who the hell told you? We haven't told anyone but our families and this random asshole (that I DON'T EVEN KNOW) is going around telling people b/c he overheard a conversation between my SO and his softball coach? What gives you the right?

Also, totally agree with this statement.. lol

Mommalawyer

jennwilhoite said:

Never throw away the pregnants food or feed it to the dog.

Um YES!!!

Mommalawyer

Yeah, the awkward questions about whether things were planned, ect. Unacceptable. When I was pregnant with DD, I had started at a law firm with a guy who was quite the horses ass. After about 6 weeks of being there and announcing I was in fact pregnant and obviously wasn't married at the time, but was in a relationship with the father, he said in front of a room full of people, "Do you even know who the father is?" I nearly fell over. He was fired shortly after. 

edwinelisheva

Any unsolicited advice from family members who have never been pregnant but consider themselves close enough to pregnancy because they've had "so many co-workers pregnant near them" will be countered with a death stare followed by a swift slap upside the head.

michelle142

I have two rules:

1. No one may touch me. Unless you're my Dr. or DH, keeps your hands to yourself.

2. Everyone must give me snacks. No food will be turned away.

munchkin8590

You may not call it "my baby" to everyone you see when you had no participation in creating it...

Cookie0875

Arduenser said:

Unless you were there when the child was created, it's not your news to share. Announcing the pregnancy, sex of child, or birth of child, without permission will result in your mouth being sutured shut and you being bumped to the bottom of the list of people to be notified of events.

If I do give you permission to tell your giant family (i.e. my mother-in-law or my own mom for that matter) you don't get to say I'm having a baby!" Ummmm no!! You are not carrying the child or birthing it, it is not yours to claim! You may say "I'm having a grandbaby!" Also please do not say "She's with child." What?!? I'm not the Virgin Mary. Please just tell people I'm pregnant.

This!  I love my SIL dearly, but she keeps saying "we're having a baby!"  No, WE'RE not!  I've got MS, migraines, sleepless nights, cravings, swollen fingers and feet, and I will eventually be the huge one with tons of back pain!  YOU have no part in this!  Thank you all...I feel better now, I'm glad this thread got bumped today.

Amee12

munchkin8590 said:

You may not call it "my baby" to everyone you see when you had no participation in creating it...

This makes me laugh because SS (he's 5) tells everyone he's having a baby and "I've always wanted one of those!"

rainbowbrite22

Do not eat the last of ANYTHING in the house. It could be the last thing you eat.

PikoPiko

Don't intrude on a pregnant woman's lunch hour or tea time. Don't you know those are sacred moments?

acpruchnik

1. When mama wants sex, you do it. If you refuse and she changes her mind, don't complain or ask for a blow job later on. This will only awaken Pregzilla.

2. Don't ask for foot rubs or back rubs. Always offer and do it for more than 30 seconds. God knows we spend enough time giving them to you and ours are generally just offered instead of propositioned.

3. Be OK with driving to the store at 2 am because she has a craving. She's most likely driven you to get drunk munchies at 2 am. Multiple times. Pregnant or not.

acpruchnik

edwinelisheva said:

Any unsolicited advice from family members who have never been pregnant but consider themselves close enough to pregnancy because they've had "so many co-workers pregnant near them" will be countered with a death stare followed by a swift slap upside the head.

My SIL was "Super Mom" when my DS was little. I flipped out at her in front of my IL family on Christmas one year after overhearing her get lippy about my parenting techniques to my DH's aunt when she said the "When I'm a parent..." bit. Her one and only son/child was born in March of this year. My son turned 4 the month after. The phone call saying "I'm sorry I was such a jerk about your parenting" when he was about a month old was like music to my ears!

acpruchnik

Nlavender13 said:

If you ask a pregnant how they are feeling, don't be annoyed when they go down the list of what currently sucks!

And when they start going down the list, no matter how annoyed you may get over what you've gotten yourself into by asking, NEVER respond with "well you wanted this so I don't know why you're complaining" or husband responding "you asked me for this baby so why are you whining?" (mine was dumb enough to make that comment ONCE)

Just because we're happy about being pregnant does NOT mean we have to be happy about feeling like shit for 9 months!

MapleMomma

acpruchnik said:

And when they start going down the list, no matter how annoyed you may get over what you've gotten yourself into by asking, NEVER respond with "well you wanted this so I don't know why you're complaining" or husband responding "you asked me for this baby so why are you whining?" (mine was dumb enough to make that comment ONCE)

Just because we're happy about being pregnant does NOT mean we have to be happy about feeling like shit for 9 months!

Amen! It is always my husband's child when it's kicking my butt. He just rolls with it. Smart man!

And with that, I need a snack.

Mar&Bob

SO's should never be aloud to say: oh is that on the symptom list this week?!

Oh- and stop using pregnancy as an exuse to be a B*tch.

I. Want. To. Punch. Him. In. The. Face.

Dani_Love

Just because you are related does not gain you automatic entrance into the delivery room. This is not dinner and a show. No means no

acpruchnik

Mar&Bob said:

SO's should never be aloud to say: oh is that on the symptom list this week?! Oh- and stop using pregnancy as an exuse to be a B*tch. I. Want. To. Punch. Him. In. The. Face.

Mine seriously tells me "You need to get your hormones in check" any time I get mad at him for anything since we found out in JUNE. Like really? You wanna see hormones? Cos I can let them out if you'd like to see just how much control I've actually had over them! It's like I'm not allowed to get mad at him or capable of being mad at him now that we're pregnant again!

CantoDeAmor259

I love this thread!!!

Mine to add - don't ever tell a pregnant lady that I should be fine doing this or that (thus example was an 8 mile hike) because I'm not "that" pregnant yet. Uh pregnant is pregnant. Just because I'm not the size of a ballon doesn't mean I'm not hard core misserable!

tlglass91

Daily massages are vital to the health of mom and baby, husbands are not allowed to bit$$ about anything as it may raise blood pressure, they must comply with every request. Hahha I'm good with those two.

feliciaDodson

Just next time you see them Poor a little milk on them maybe carrying a bag of milk I bet next time they won't be touching your boobs