moms of a newborn and toddler??

sachsaphone

dh is sooooo in love with our daughter, 25months, i feel like hes not bonding with dd #2.  dd #1 gets very jealous and upset when dh holds alex (7 weeks) and i think he feels guilty so he doesnt take her very often.  we dote on ella (#1) to make her feel special, it just makes me sad that i feel like dh isnt bonding.  Anyone go thru this!?  thx!

Andrewsgal

I nurse so DH can not and does not provide a lot of the comfort that DS needs right now. DH is way more bonded with DD, but he has also had 2 + years to form that bond. He really did not bond with DD when she was an infant either. I am sure that when DS has been around for 2+ years he will be just as bonded with him.

HisBetterHalf

I don't have a newborn yet but am due in May.  I am very worried about this.  DH and DD are best buds.  They are super close and have so much fun together.  DH is really excited about having another girl but I'm worried that he will still "favor" DD.  Its an irrational worry right now, and hopefully I'll be wrong.

sachsaphone

dh and dd are best buds too!!!!  i guess its true that its been 2 years.  maybe when dd#2 is a bit more responsive he'll bond, but i feel like shes MY baby...its weird

shopgirl78

DH was slow to warm up to DS because I was nursing but now that he is a toddler I have the opposite problem, DH is always siding with DS (when they are fighting over something)

gibs

DD#2 is so young that she won't feel the attention difference. ?Your DH will fall in love with DD#2 - don't worry! ?She's far more needy and far less interesting right now than DD#1. ?It'll all be fine. ?(My DDs are 23 mo apart. We went through the same thing. ?Give it time)

LeisureSuitLauren

Give him some time. MH has commented before that he really did not start enjoying DD#1 or truly bonding with her until she was 3 or 4 months old. I have to say the same thing goes for me.  I've just met my new baby and really need some time to get to know her as a person (or the little person she will be)  I'm sure it will happen for your husband too.

cristiana

It's hard in the beginning, but it will work itself out in time. I had DH put all his energy into DD at first, because a large amount of my attention had to be focused onto DS. It was also easier for him to connect with DD over a newborn that really only wanted to be close to me. As time went by, it became more balanced.

wildflower865

I was upset about the same thing.  Now he laughs and brings up how I was worried about the 2 of them bonding.  He regularly chooses Daddy over me!

reynah

I know I wrote a very similar post when ds2 was a newborn. All my responses told me I would bond and to stop the worry. I am telling you the same thing, you will bond with your dd and don't worry!