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I had to do it

freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
in Single Parents
My ex is in custody. I called last night because he had me so shaken up. Literally my hands were shaking. He just kept coming at me via text in the guise of the kids but finding ways to insult me and make me uncomfortable. I tried calling his family but instead his dad didn't take my call (this was lunch time) and by 6:30 at the exchange for the kids it got way worse. I did what I had to do to protect myself. This is why I have a restraining order so he can't do this to me. I exercised my rights.
I know he is fuming. His family hates me even more. I had to do it but I wish it didn't have to happen. He'll make bail tonight I am sure which is fine but he better stop fucking with me. I know judge will scold me for engaging in these text messages but it is hard to not stick up for myself and just keep taking it. I did that for too many years with him in my face. Ugh
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Re: I had to do it

  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    You definitely did the right thing. You have to protect yourself! It probably really sucks for him to see that you're a stronger woman than he gave you credit for!
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  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    Thanks @jellybean529‌. It's so hard. So hard.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Good for you for sticking up for yourself! BUT stop, dont engage him. If he violates the restraining order alert the authorities and let them do their job.
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  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    You are right @MinnesotaMomma91‌ . And everyone IRL says the same things. It's easier said than done in the moment. No excuses though I have no choice.
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  • tig594tig594 member
    If you keep engaging him you will start becoming less credible. They will start saying you must not be very afraid of him if you keep communicating with him. I'm not saying you were not right to report him...but is it fair to him if you give him opportunity? He's a big boy and should know better but so should you. If he contacts you for ANY reason DO NOT respond. You have a protection order for a reason.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    While i understand, try having contact about the kids through a neutral third party. If he contacts you. DO NOT RESPOND alert tge aithorities. I hate to say it but if you keep engaging a judge will do more then scold you. They WILL take away the restraining order because you also arent following the rules
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  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    The problem is we can and do communicate about the kids via text. That is allowed. The fighting about the kids and money for the kids then snowballs. It's never - hey what are you up to? Or I miss you? Or anything like that. But yes I realize I can keep it short sweet and to the point. And as soon as it becomes off color or not about the kids I need to disengage.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Remember this next time it starts snow balling "i dont like the direction this has taken so im going to have to say good night and walk away from the conversation" and then walk away from the conversation no matter what is said to egg you on.
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  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    Yes that is good!!!
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