Introduction!!!

writerinpink

Hi All!

I'm new this board. For a weeks now I've been contemplating natural birth. If I'm going to seriously embark on this, I think I need to start preparing. Right now I'm 12 weeks along and so I would really like to absorb as much information as possible. As far as my decision to give birth naturally, DH is on board. My mother, who wants to be there when I deliver, is skeptical at best. However, I think that I want to prepare myself mentally and physically for natural birth in a hospital. Where I live, the hospitals have great low intervention maternity wards. So right now, I'm not too concerned about that.

So my question to you all: What did you do to prepare? Or if this is your first natural birth, what are you using to educate yourself?

List your favorite resources, websites, books, etc.

MsMacual

Welcome!  I'm preparing for my second natural birth.  I purposefully chose to see a group of midwives with both pregnancies becuase I know they are known to be very supportive of a drug free/low intervention birth plan.  In my case, both groups were hospital based so I delivered (or will deliver in a hospital).  The OB groups that my midwives work with also are known to be fairly supportive of a drug free birth so it is a good back up if I should need to be moved over to their care.

In terms of preparing.  We decided against a birth class- there are definite pros and cons to this, but it worked out fine in our case.  I read the Bradley book (husband coached childbirth) before our first and talked to a few moms who had recently been through a drug free birth process.  This time around, I'm also reading Ina May Gaskin's childbirth book and it is wonderful- super informative and empowering. 

I really like the blog Birth Without Fear and have found that they post some really great evidence based information along with birth stories.

Some families prefer to take a class- I've heard great things about both the Bradley method and Hypnobirth method.  I'm pretty sure that we would take the hypno course if we were to take one.

Finally, some women choose to hire a birth doula to help coach and serve as an advocate during their birth process.  Again, I didn't have one for my first and it was fine. 

Congrats!  I thought that my drug free birth was a very empowering experience.

writerinpink

Thanks @MsMacual! I'm definetely going to get Ina May's book because I've heard it mentioned a few times. I'll check out the Birth Without Fear Blog. I'm hoping to transfer care soon (we're moving nearly an hour away) to a OB group that has midwives and privileges as a low intervention birth center that is actually a part of the local hospital system.

sschwege

Welcome!

1) I think the biggest thing I did to prepare the first time was taking a Hypnobirthing class.  I also tried to surround myself with positive people and stories.  Having a supportive provider and partner is key, which it sounds like you have.

2) As pp Ina May is a wonderful resource.  I've read, "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" twice now.  Also "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth"  

You might check out documentary "The Business of Being Born" it's biased for sure as any documentary is, but I think it's a good place to start.

aboodtobe

I am a FTM and found the book recommendations listed by others to be great. I would add Mindful Birthing to the list too. Definitely Ina May's book is my favorite though. 

One of my friends really wanted a natural birth, but her mother "scared her out of it." My best suggestion is to educate yourself to make sure you are making the right decision for you. Then be prepared to have people ask a bunch of "why?" questions. Having a supportive husband is a must. You need a strong advocate to support you. Honestly, it's no ones business how you're going to give birth, so people should support what you want.

Good luck! You're going to do great!

Mama-Bear

I'm planning to do hypnobabies next time around (IVF transfer as a surrogate scheduled for September).  Honestly, if your mom isn't be supportive, I wouldn't have her attend the birth.  Birth is a roller coaster, you need 100% support.

jennypolkadots

I'm just under 14 weeks with my first and have planned all along (and for years prior) for a natural birth experience. I've never really entertained the idea of a typical hospital birth so natural birth just feels right. I think the most important thing is to define why it is important for you. For me, I am not comfortable with the side effects of pitocin or pain medicine on my body or the baby. I want to avoid major surgery (c section) as much as possible, and I want my baby to be born alert and ready for bonding. Frankly, I am more freaked out by the idea of getting an epidural than any amount of pain. We are choosing a birth center or home birth (not our home, more like a birth center) with midwives because I know I can not be comfortable in a hospital and it will stall my labor. We also do not have very natural birth friendly hospitals around here (Alabama) and the extra $3K out of pocket is doable for us.

Aside from defining your reasons, you have to consider if you have the support you need and the resources to make it happen. Me personally, I have been through a lot of rough things and painful injuries and know that I have a really strong mind when things get tough. It's like I kick into overdrive and never tire. That sounds crazy, I know.. but I know myself and know if anyone can do this then I can. I'm stubborn as a mule. I also love meditation and meditate daily so I am looking into hypnobabies because it is right up my ally. If your mom is not supportive, do not invite her to the birth. She will get over it. Honestly, I would never consider having anyone but my husband and birth team (doctors, midwives, doula, etc.) with me during the birth because it is just one more person to have to interact with and stress me out. But I am not close to my mom and also prefer to internalize and self soothe. My husband keeps me calmer than anyone else on earth and he is the only one I want to share that moment with. We are not even telling people I am in labor until the baby is born because I do not want him to be taken away from me to have to update people/call/text etc. 

You really should consider getting a doula, especially for a hospital birth. A doula will come with all sorts of things to make you more comfortable - massage techniques, music, aromatherapy, and someone who is trained to talk to you through labor. Also she can help you make informed decisions if something strays from your ideal plan. They usually cost around $500 but worth every penny from everyone I have ever talked to. 

You can do this!! 

jennypolkadots

Ina May's guide to child birth is one of the most beautiful birth books I've ever read. It is so wonderful and all of the stories are positive and touching. Every time I pick it up I end up feeling just that much more excited about our deliver!! Definitely pick it up!

writerinpink

These are great suggestions. I actually watched the Business of Being Born long before I ever got pregnant and that's when I really began to question epidurals and hospital practices. Epidurals have always scared the crap out of me when I first found out how the procedure goes.

I saw and read so many positive natural birth experiences and I want that for me and my baby. Besides, I've had a string of bad reactions to medications in the past and so I do not want pitocin or any other drugs to speed up labor and I certainly don't want a C-section. That's my worst fear: needing an emergency C-section.

I'm hoping to take some affordable childbirth classes in the area and do some reading and research. I'm not sure if a doula will be in our budget, even though I would like one. Money is really tight and will be even tighter just getting the basics in preparation for baby and saving up so I can take unpaid maternity leave (my job or state doesn't offer anything other than basic FMLA).

sschwege

writerinpink said:

These are great suggestions. I actually watched the Business of Being Born long before I ever got pregnant and that's when I really began to question epidurals and hospital practices. Epidurals have always scared the crap out of me when I first found out how the procedure goes.

I saw and read so many positive natural birth experiences and I want that for me and my baby. Besides, I've had a string of bad reactions to medications in the past and so I do not want pitocin or any other drugs to speed up labor and I certainly don't want a C-section. That's my worst fear: needing an emergency C-section.

I'm hoping to take some affordable childbirth classes in the area and do some reading and research. I'm not sure if a doula will be in our budget, even though I would like one. Money is really tight and will be even tighter just getting the basics in preparation for baby and saving up so I can take unpaid maternity leave (my job or state doesn't offer anything other than basic FMLA).

I didn't have a doula either time and don't regret it, so it's certainly not a must-have for all women.  That being said, if you want one you might look for a student doula who will work for free to gain the experience she needs to complete the program, or check if your hospital has volunteer doulas, mine did.

sschwege

jennish11 said:

Congrats!

My I would first recommend deciding if you were going to do it or not and commit 100%.  Even the most committed woman will cave and ask for pain meds when they hit transition (I did), but if you let everyone know you are committed to no meds then your support group can help you get through it.

I told my husband that if I asked, to just ignore me and change the subject.  My midwife did the same thing and it worked great.  Once I hit 7 cm I asked for "something to take the end off" a few times and they just pretended like I didn't say anything and I forgot I had asked.

Also, if you can I recommend a doula or a midwife.  They are added support on top of the nurses and OB (if you have one) and help your DH as well.  My husband said he would've panicked if it wasn't for our midwife.

I agree with PP - read Ina May's book.  I was stressing about natural birth until I read that book.

I'd also recommend checking out a few different methods - read a book or article - maybe visit a class or read some birth stories - to figure out what will work best for you.  I didn't take any specific classes, but did a lot of reading and research to find out things that may work.  Honestly you never know until you are in the moment anyways.

Finally, for me it was 90% mental preparation.  I avoided any negative birth stories and anytime I felt myself getting scared, I'd start to think about how awesome it was and push the fear out of my mind, replacing it with excitement.

By the time I went into labor I wasn't scared at all, was really excited, and actually enjoyed most of my labor.

I think how you want your support people to help you is more specific to what the mother feels will be most beneficial.  I know for me, I did not want my support people trying to talk me out of meds if I asked.  In fact before I went into labor with my first I told DH, "If I ask for an epi don't try to talk me out of it!" and I meant it.  I knew I had done everything I knew how to do to prepare myself and I knew my will was strong, if the day came and it wasn't my day then it wasn't my day.  I just didn't want people trying to talk me out of it or delay me, because if I was in a situation where I was desperate enough to ask, then I needed it.  Despite all this, I still had both med-free in the hospital.  So what worked for you might not be the best situation for someone else