"When it's meant to be, it will be" VENT (** ticker warning **)

LittleDucky

I am sick of hearing people tell me "when it's meant to be, it will be" or "everything happens for a reason" or "you'll have a beautiful baby when it is meant to be" or other bullshit like that.  Maybe some people think it is comforting, but personally, I do not appreciate hearing that my pregnancy was "not meant to be."

Maybe I'm just touchy, but I've heard this a few times lately and I really don't like it.

farniegal

I've heard those and said some myself to end a conversation - I think it functions as a transition and closing point to a conversation without making the other person feel bad. It doesn't make me feel better, but making them feel bad won't either. I say it when I don't want to tell the person how I really feel. I know they think it is helpful - sometimes it makes me want to scream when I hear it, other times I just let is roll off.

The everything happens for a reason is a little better for me - God needed my baby in heaven more than I needed her on earth - everything happens for a reason and that's the reason. It's the only positive reason I can muster, but it does make me feel better knowing my baby is in heaven and not in any pain.

I agree with you hearing my pregnancy wasn't "meant to be" is really hurtful. Even if they don't mean it that way. If it wasn't meant to be it wouldn't have happened. I'm not one to spout off about "god's Plan" but in this instance I have to believe that God  did have a Plan, and everything happened according to that plan - even if I hate the way the plan work out :'-(

LittleDucky

**ticker warning and link to sad blog warning**

I agree with a lot of the thoughts in thei blog post, written by a friend of a friend. Warning - it is the blog of a parent whose 6-year-old daughter recently passed. He writes about what not to say to a grieving parent. While obviously pregnancy loss/miscarriage and the loss of a 6-year-old child are different, I think many of the thoughts expressed are relatable to both.

https://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/2014/07/02/what-not-to-say/