Who to invite when having one shower

ninee88

Hi,

I'm an occasional poster of my BMB (D14) but have a shower question so figured I'd drop in over here.

A little back story:

My mother is hosting a baby shower for me. My MIL is quite a bit older than my parents, has no family locally other than DH and me, and is a full time caregiver for FIL, who has dementia. MIL will definitely not be hosting a second shower for DH's side/her friends. For my bridal shower, my aunt hosted and offered to let MIL add a few of her friends since it was a similar situation. MIL invited a few more people than I thought was appropriate given that she wasn't co-hosting/pitching in, but it all worked out alright.

We have about 30 people just on my side that are musts to invite. Plus I'd add a handful of girlfriends and of course MIL would be invited. 

My question is: Is my mom obligated, or supposed to invite friends of my MIL? I feel MIL will expect to be able to invite her friends, but this might make the numbers too high for my mom.

Thoughts? TIA!

ninee88

Thanks for the input @Happy_Yahoo_Personaler. I agree with staying away from it and just letting it play out. I'm aware that as the guest of honor it simply isn't my place (same as with my bridal shower). I suppose it is more just out of curiosity that I posted.

ninee88

Great suggestion @msspeedymarie! I haven't been asked and won't suggest unless I am, but I think that because MIL got to invite friends to the bridal shower she might assume she gets the same opportunity with the baby shower, which given the change in hostess she may not.

VOR

No, your mom isn't obligated to invite anymore people than she wants or can afford to invite.  Her offering to host a shower does NOT mean she has to invite "everyone".  And if MIL asks, just keep it simple - due to cost, your mom has to keep the #s down.

As suggested, though, IF there is any room for additional people, you can tell MIL that she can invite __ people.  Give her an actual #.