Feeling fat

bridetobe9132013

So my husband is normally very sweet but last night, I dont know what happened. We were eating dinner and dh pokes my stomach, makes a disgusted face and then starts talking about weight and how much I have gained. Im up 8lbs from pre pregnancy and he is up 15lbs btw. He was just being so rude. I got up, took lo from him and just sat and cried, without even finishing my dinner. Then he says "Are you self conscious?" Ummm... what woman isn't? Especially after having a baby. He acts like its my fault he gained weight. I certainly didn't force feed him! Then he tried to act like nothing happened. He never even apologized or acknowledged I was upset. I cried on and off for the next 5 hours while he was down in his "man cave." I dont know what the point of this post is, besides a chance to vent.

sws684

I'm soooo sorry... That's so unacceptable!!!! IMO, that's not even a "mistake." Nice people don't do that - ever. Don't sweat some silly weight gain. Look into those sweet, innocent eyes of LO, and remember how beautiful life is and you are. Girl I'm up almost 20 pounds! Ur lucky! I've always had a body to be thankful for, and now I'm struggling. He clearly is upset ab his weight gain & feels better by reminding u of yours. Fuck that, my friend. That's just mean.

bridetobe9132013

Thank you, im glad im not just over reacting! I was thinking the same thing! It still makes me cry thinking about it! If I never lose these last few pounds, im ok with it because I love my little girl and she was worth every pound!

bridetobe9132013

I was about to @Kimbus22‌. I said to him "what husband says this to their wife?" I got mirena put in yesterday, which means today im protected but "im too fat" to dtd so sucks for him!

mibarra93

I'm sorry that's horrible. Yesterday my husband shook my flabby belly and asked if there was another baby growing in there and when was I due. I just shoved him away and walked away crying. He doesn't seem to realize he crushes me every time he says something like that.

bridetobe9132013

@mibarra93‌ im so sorry you have to deal with it too! Does he see you crying? My dh knows I was crying. I havent talked to him since I told him off after he was mean. He is probably clueless and has no idea why.

mibarra93

He definitely saw me crying! He said I was being too sensitive. He just doesn't seem to care. If he thinks it's funny, he's going to say it. Regardless of how anyone feels.

bridetobe9132013

I hate when my dh says im being too sensitive over something. In his opinion, maybe about some things but if he knows it upsets me, why would he say it? I almost feel depressed about it and dont even want to eat now

Jelainey24

That's terrible I'm sorry he's being such a douche. Don't be afraid to look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful and sexy. Should help combat any comments from other people.

Hugs!

lavendergiraffes

You are all beautiful! That is upsetting that there are men making the mothers of their babys feel shitty! I'm sorry you are dealing with that and I wish I could offer advice.

bridetobe9132013

Thank you ladies! It helps that you understand

MissLadyTay

Um, that is unacceptable. Do you want your children to think it's acceptable for parents to speak about/put down each others bodies that way? I'd haul him into counseling. I'd also tell him to never speak to me that way again.

bridetobe9132013

Its surprising to me because anytime I ever feel bad about myself, he says "you just had a baby, give it time." This completely shocked me to hear him say it. I was so mad, I actually had lo packed in the car seat and was going to go for a car ride.

bridetobe9132013

He knows he f'd up

bridetobe9132013

It upsets me even more that he never came to apologize or explain himself at all!

Jelainey24

Well I hope he apologizes to you, instead of brushing it off like nothing happened, if he knows he messed up!

bridetobe9132013

@Jelainey24‌ he better because im definately not letting it go!

bazingaa

Your reaction was an understatement I would say! I'm with PPs... That man would have been punched!

Nikkipal82

I hate it when DH acts like it's my fault he's gained weight. I did not force feed him anything. I am so sorry your DH is being insensitive. He is likely feeling bad about himself and taking it out on you. Our LOs are reminders of how amazing our bodies are. 

bridetobe9132013

@Nikkipal82‌ guess who made chocolate chip cookies Sunday night? Not me! When he said that last night, I told him "I had a baby, wtf is your excuse?" He left for work about 20 min ago so im hoping he'll do some thinking on his commute. I know this is not acceptable and will not just let it go!

usernewname

I would have called him a douche and smacked him.

Did you tell him flat out that was uncalled for and it made you feel awful?

bridetobe9132013

@florassecret‌ yes I did!

bridetobe9132013

@Kimbus22‌ that comment had me cracking up!

giggler25

NOT cool at all. I'm with the other PPs, I would've slapped MH if he said that to me. And, being that you just had a daughter, does he want her to grow up feeling self conscious about her weight? Completely unacceptable and he should apologize to you immediately!!!

Hugs to you! You just grew and birthed a human -- your body is amazing!!
ETA: this goes for you too @mibarra93!

haylo33

My brother in law made comments to my sister many times about baby weight/stretch marks. She has low self esteem and still (5 years later) is hurt by his comments. After giving birth to HIS 2 children it makes me so mad. If my husband said that I would be so hurt. Sorry you are dealing with this! Just know that you did an amazing thing and don't let it get to you like it did my sister.

bridetobe9132013

Once again, thank you to everyone for your encouraging words! It sucks that there are some men who dont think before they speak or not even realize they hurt their wife with their comments. I know we will be ok because we are great with communication but I hope I can forget this. No woman should have to feel bad about their body after having a baby.

thefussybunch

Men can be so dumb. Please try not to let this bring you down. IMO this is more about his weight gain than yours. 8 lbs seems so little to me because I still have 20 lbs. Regardless of the number, he hurt you. Confront him on this. He probably didn't apologize yet cause he knows he messed up- bad.

Bootsie327

That's pretty unacceptable and I'm sorry he's giving you a hard time about post baby weight at all, let alone friggin 8 lbs!! Remember the time you carried ACTUAL HUMAN LIFE inside your body?? That is a huge deal and something most men could never handle. Of course you will go through some changes. I still have like 25 lbs to lose (I gained 65). I don't feel sexy in the least, but DH will still tell me I'm pretty when he knows I need to hear it. He gained like 20 also in sympathy haha.

mibarra93

Thank you ladies! I appreciate your kind words. And @Kimbus22‌ I will definitely use that next time he decides to be a dick!