Why oh Why...

starrdiva211

Why oh Why…. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 

So… I texted the ex and told him Thank You for giving me the Lil One’s insurance money for the month of August early because I had no money and I had two things scheduled to come out of my account on Monday. I did say that the rate increase had affected me more than I though and that I had a big co-pay for my dentist appointment and paying for the yard maintenance (sorry, couldn’t take it anymore)… I said I was appreciative and at the end I said Love You…

…I said it cause it is true and I am mad that it is still true.

When I texted him good afternoon and asked him how he is doing, he asked me why did I say I love you?

Me: Cause I do despite everything that has happened. And I probably will love you for awhile.

Ex: If you love me, why do you treat me so bad?

And once again, just down hill… *sigh*

We have been going back and forth since 3pm CST time about what the heck was broken and how I was in the wrong…

…I don’t know how many more times I can say that I take responsibility for what happened to us. Don’t know how many other ways I can say it. Do I have to put up a billboard? Hire a skywriter? Put out a Facebook blast?

How much longer can I continue not to call him out on what he has done wrong?

Maybe because it is still so fresh… Four months out since he moved out…

 

MinnesotaMomma91

Call his ass out! Dont perpetually take all the blame. Thats foolish.

Also why i understand your feelings. Please dont tell him you love him. It gives him ammo against you, it opens.up the door for him to put all the blame on you. So feel free to tell is here your feelings, we get it, weve been there just dont tell him

eg214

Yep. Skip the mushy gushy. Let it out here. No more I love yous...cue the sinnead o connor song.

MinnesotaMomma91

Also its kinda theraputic to call his ass out.

freeatlast2014

Why are you taking responsibility? He is manipulating you.

If it's over, no more I love yous (isn't that a song) and no more mid day texts to see how he is doing. You are making this extra hard on yourself.

freeatlast2014

I should also add. I engage with stbxh all the time. Once the arguing starts it just spirals. And this is even with my restraining order. If you don't start, it won't consume your day. Need to heed my own advice here.

tig594

Uh, yeah.  Call his ass out.  You are giving him the power to manipulate you into feeling like shit about your relationship. How do you plan on healing if you can't be honest, ESPECIALLY with him, about what happened in your relationship?  And as long as he knows you still love him and you're telling him you do he's going to continue to take advantage of you in every way he can.  Just being nosy, have you gone to court about all your LO's expenses and all that?  Sounds like you're taking on way more than you should be and are currently capable of.  

Unknown

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MinnesotaMomma91

@Becwheat has a point about calling him out. Dont interact with him in anyway unless it directley pertains to your lo. And even then keep it short sweet and to the point ex: lo is doing x and needs y, i can contribute z amount but i need you to cover the rest thank you