"Fired" by my OB today

Hopeful1029

So I'm 31 weeks and my jackass of an OB discharged me today. I'm so pissed. He told me that I'm high risk because I'm obese and that if at 36 weeks my baby is measuring over 7.5lbs I will be having a c-section. So, I said "no". He said yes, if the baby is more than 7.5lbs then I will be having a c-section. I said as long as my baby is not in distress, I will not be having c-section. I said A.) there's no way for you to tell how big my baby is going to be until he comes out and B.) I'm not having a c-section unless the baby is in distress. The bullshit he fed me was disgusting. He threatened that my baby would die if I didn't have a c-section. I know that's not true, I'm an educated healthcare professional. He can go screw. I am, however, royally pissed that I have the added stress of having to find an OB at 31 weeks pregnant. Fuck these stupid fuckers. Just because I want a non-medicated vaginal birth, and I'm not going to let someone "pencil me in" so it's convenient for them. Ugh!!!

conradraging

So sorry you're dealing with that! That is just appalling on his part.

marriedinaugust

That is ridiculous!!! Good luck finding a new provider that isn't an Ahole. Any midwifes in your area?

MuchlyGen

That is awful, but oh my goodness, good for you! That is so awesome to see someone standing up for themselves, and their baby, with that much conviction. It is a fantastic example for moms to see - that they have that power, that ability, and that right to advocate for themselves even against doctor's "advice."

Go mama!

MsMacual

Good for you!  I'm sure it is scary to walk away from a care provider pretty late in your pregnancy, but it sounds like he was not supportive of your wishes and wouldn't even have a conversation with you. Besides- 31 weeks is really early to make the decision for a c-section when it sounds like the concerns are somewhat trivial (definitely important considerations, but not something that needs to be decided 9 weeks before you are due!).  

I agree that a midwife might be a good fit, if you have some in your area.  Some clinics have a midwife or two (or 5 in my case) as a part of their OB/GYN clinic.  Otherwise, there are many OBs who are pro natural birth and will not be making the decision for a c-section this early.  Good luck!  

moroccojade

Horrible!  What an ass. 

I think you dodged a bullet with him, though.  I hope you find someone new and wonderful ASAP.

aboodtobe

criscbish said:

Wow. I'm so sorry. Good for you for being educated and demanding proper care. Don't OBs make more money if you need surgery? PS. I'm Canadian and not sure how it works down there.

Yes, the physician reimbursement rate for a c-section is more than a normal, non-complicated vaginal delivery (because it costs more). Because OBs are trained surgeons, many feel more comfortable doing a c-section than a vaginal delivery. This is purely anecdotal and just what I've heard from some physicians. However, I would question this doctor's motives for requiring a c-section.

@hopeful1029 Looks like midwife is your best best. Many take clients in their 3rd tri. Good luck and I'm sorry you had to go through this. 

JCWhitey

Wow, what a dick.  You are better off without him!

I moved at 32 weeks with my son so had to switch caregivers.  It was fine!  I had plenty of time to really get to know the new one (I had just as many appointments with her as I did with my midwife because of how often you are seen at the end).  I ended up with an awesome doctor and I was so nervous from switching to midwifery care, but it went very smoothly.  Good luck in your hunt!

TehysKitaBug

I'd also look into a midwife. The midwife group I'm with works in tandem with the regular physician/ob practice so if anything *were* to need surgical or more complicated medical interventions they would already have access to, and knowledge of my history. Best of luck to you on a healthy happy delivery

Hopeful1029

Thanks for all the encouragement ladies. He was a total dick from the start,a me I was just blinded by my pregnancy after ttc for 3 years. Our 1st "visit"/consult was 7 minutes long and when I started to ask questions he said "it's too early for questions, you're only 7 weeks. Come back in 3 weeks and if you're still pregnant, then e can talk". Hindsight...... I had a visit with a midwife yesterday who was phenomenal. She said baby and I have absolutely no abnormal risks at this time, and there is no reason why I can't have a vaginal birth. I also spoke with another OB recommended by a friend who agreed that my records/charting were all within normal range and I had nothing to be afraid of, then proceeded to tell me there are bigger risks for a larger woman (I'm a size 22 pregnant) to have a c-section than to attempt a vaginal birth. I have two more appts scheduled for consults (another OB and another midwife) so I'm looking forward to those. Feeling much better about things and getting more irritated at the previous jerk for being such a prick!

Hopeful1029

@somerandomchick‌ I'm not AMA, I'm against bullshit talk. To tell me that he believes I will need a c-section because he "doesn't know what my pelvis is like" or because I'm obese (again, I'm a big girl, always have been, but I've known MUCH bigger women who have had successful vaginal births) or because I'm at risk because my "husband is a big guy" (he's freaking 6 feet tall, 205!! To a 5'6" doctor, my husband may seem big, but I assure you, he most certainly is not) is all bullshit. I'm educated, I'm a healthcare professional, i have taken care of myself and my baby throughout this pregnancy. I am not high risk. I have extra weight and I totally believe him to be anti-big girls and surgery hungry.

poopie94

That is unbelievable! I'm so tired of hearing stories about doctor's bullying women into the birth plan THEY want, instead of respecting the mother's CHOICE. That's why I've used a midwife and had a home birth with mine. You can find a much better option for your birth experience. Good riddance!

sprky79

You have type II diabetes.  I am willing to bet your BP is not fabulous either.  Your doc does not want to deal with the risks your diabetic status pose to a safe delivery.  

You say you work in healthcare - are you a doctor or a nurse?  Do you work in OB/GYN?  

MrsKasel10

Good for you for sticking up for your rights, it just sucks that you now have to find a new provider. Best of luck.

conradraging

sprky79 said:

You have type II diabetes.  I am willing to bet your BP is not fabulous either.  Your doc does not want to deal with the risks your diabetic status pose to a safe delivery.  

You say you work in healthcare - are you a doctor or a nurse?  Do you work in OB/GYN?  

"Me: Hypothyroid DH: Type II diabetic. " Read.

Hopeful1029

@sprky79‌ I do not have type II diabetes, my husband does. My blood sugar is fabulous, as is my BP (which has never been more than 120/78). I am a registered nurse who previously was in OB/gyn before transferring to cardiology. Would you like to know where I went to school or what year I graduated? AND FWIW, I just signed on with another OB who said there is absolutely No medical reason why I can not have the birth I plan for and at my previous OB has a reputation for being a quick cutter. But thank you for your snap judgement, however inaccurate it was.

shellybean3788

**APPLAUSE!!!!** Well done, ma'am. If more women stood up for themselves, obstetrics in this country wouldn't be in the sad, sad state that it is in. 

Find the person who is right for you. 

xc1148

Wow good for you! Good luck finding someone...I'm sure it will all work out I had a friend in the same situation, she is obese and her doctor said her baby was too big so she had to have a c-section, also we were getting a massive snow storm so her husband thought it was a good idea too. she wasn't planning on a natural birth, but definitely felt like she didn't have a choice.

aboodtobe you are correct, the reimbursement rate is higher. Most docs choose it in cases like these because of liability...if any complications arose, they are less likely to be sued/more in control during a c-section than otherwise.

ruemorgan

However stressed you may feel, I applaud you! More women need to be sticking up for themselves and what they want. OBs are SURGEONS. As soon as they get nervous they just "give up" and head straight for the easy and sometimes unnecessary way out. Way to go!

jinnymb

Good for you!!! I wish I had the guts to leave my first care provider earlier.  I switched with my 3rd baby at 27 weeks and ended up having an amazing birth experience.  So glad I did it.  I would report him to the hospital as well.  I'm sure they won't be surprised to hear if that is how he practices.  Good luck on your delivery and good job being informed and doing what is best for your body and baby!

RobynB13

I'm hoping you post pics and baby stats here when the time comes! I had an OB like that... I fired him just days before giving birth  (but should have when he tried to convince me that my baby was going to be deformed and die, and that I should have a "medically necessary" abortion at 18 weeks...The nurse literally held me back. But I couldn't find any other high risk providers at that point... a regular OB assisted by a midwife ended up delivering instead in the long-run)

SchruteBucks

He definitely did you a favor!  I'm a big woman, too.  As you can see from the weights of my babies in my signature...a big woman having a big baby naturally is no problem. 

Ardmhs83

That is crazy!!!!  Sorry you are dealing with this!  I just read on my Natural Childbirth FB page that a mom naturally gave birth to a 11 1/2 lb baby boy yesterday.  Some docs are crazy

I hope you find an midwife or OB that is willing to work with you.  

Hopeful1029

Well, LO arrived Wednesday at 7:32pm! He was 8#9oz 19.5 inches. I was in labor for 4 hours and he arrived after 30 minutes of pushing! All natural, no drugs, vaginal birth, small tear and I am ONE HAPPY MAMA!!! I wish more women researched birth and what our bodies are capable of so that they weren't bullied in to the bullshit that doctors feed us!

marriedinaugust

Congratulations @Hopeful1029‌!

soofttie

7.5 lbs???!!!! And at 36 weeks what the ..... He would have been lucky I just didn't walk out in my gown and all!

MrsL2B

Congratulations on the birth of your son!

modernfairytale8709

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!

He sounds like the king of the jackasses.

FX that you find a naturally-minded OB who won't use baseless scare tactics to force you into his schedule. 

arlinar

modernfairytale8709 said:

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!

He sounds like the king of the jackasses.

FX that you find a naturally-minded OB who won't use baseless scare tactics to force you into his schedule. 

She already had the baby as you can see a few post above.